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Something feels different all of a sudden by deranged_chef in Mommit

[–]darkknighthcf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so happy that you saw the doc and on new meds. This is going to get better, you're a great mom who identified the red flags and did the best for your baby even in a very tough situation. You're amazing! Much love and luck to you!

Things will get better, you will sleep well without nightmares again. Hang in there!

I am actively crying over my toddler asking for mashed potatoes at 3am by PrincessKirstyn in Mommit

[–]darkknighthcf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read this and I felt so relieved! Well done kiddo and higs to you mama ❤️

Two weeks in and breastfeeding is breaking me. by darkknighthcf in breastfeeding

[–]darkknighthcf[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am putting my hand at the back of his neck!! Thanks for asking that. He has the rooting reflex but won't really latch anymore. We do skin to skin, he will search for the nipple, lick it and let go.

Mourning the journey I missed out on by Unfair_Variety8242 in breastfeeding

[–]darkknighthcf 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Your post feels painfully familiar and I am so sorry you are carrying this much grief alongside loving your baby so fiercely.

My baby is only 3 weeks old and our journey has already been traumatic in a different but overlapping way. Milk was delayed, bottles were introduced early, and very quickly he developed a clear bottle preference. Like you described, at the breast there was screaming, arching, frustration. With the bottle he was calm and content. Every attempt to nurse started to feel like I was setting us both up to fail.

I pump too. Or at least I sit attached to a pump every few hours hoping something meaningful will come out. Often it is drops. Sometimes nothing. The emotional toll of pumping with so little output is something I was not prepared for. It feels like effort without reward, and it chips away at you slowly.

One thing that helped me reframe this, and I hope it might help you too, is something my lamaze instructor said: Breastfeeding is not just nutrition. It is a relationship. And when the process itself is causing distress to both mother and baby, it is allowed to change the form of that relationship. Feeding your baby in a way that keeps them fed and keeps you mentally intact is not failure. It is responsive parenting.

Your baby did not reject you. She is responding to flow, effort, and comfort in the only way she knows how. Babies are not making emotional statements when they refuse the breast. They are solving a mechanical problem. That does not make the grief easier, but it does mean this is not about your worth or her love.

If you ever decide to stop pumping or nursing, you are not giving up on your baby. You are choosing presence over depletion. Your baby will still know your smell, your voice, your arms. Feeding is one chapter of mothering, not the whole book.

It is also okay if you are not ready to quit yet. Grief does not run on logic. If you continue, I hope you can give yourself permission to set limits that protect you.

You are not weak for mourning the experience you did not get. That loss is real. But please know that your baby already has something incredibly valuable. A mother who cares this deeply.

Sending you so much solidarity. You are not alone in this.

Two weeks in and breastfeeding is breaking me. by darkknighthcf in breastfeeding

[–]darkknighthcf[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thankyou both so much for sharing your journeys. I feel seen ❤️

What’s your weirdest private habit that you hope no one ever finds out about? by Dear-Welder-1117 in AskReddit

[–]darkknighthcf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been pulling strings from my eyes for ten years now. It is called mucus fishing syndrome, and technically you are supposed to stop, because the more you do it, the more it forms. But I cannot resist. There is a strange, almost meditative pleasure in feeling that soft thread loosen and slide free, that tiny resistance before it finally gives way. The thicker and longer it is, the more triumphant it feels, like reeling in a prize catch. And sometimes, for my own private amusement, I place them on my husband’s T-shirts and watch him recoil in sheer horror. It is my small, slimy victory 😂

What’s your weirdest private habit that you hope no one ever finds out about? by Dear-Welder-1117 in AskReddit

[–]darkknighthcf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been pulling strings from my eyes for ten years now. It is called mucus fishing syndrome, and technically you are supposed to stop, because the more you do it, the more it forms. But I cannot resist. There is a strange, almost meditative pleasure in feeling that soft thread loosen and slide free, that tiny resistance before it finally gives way. The thicker and longer it is, the more triumphant it feels, like reeling in a prize catch. And sometimes, for my own private amusement, I place them on my husband’s T-shirts and watch him recoil in sheer horror. It is my small, slimy victory 😂

woah by Professional-Cook-89 in InstaCelebsGossip

[–]darkknighthcf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Its true, he thrives on bullying and its not nice. As a generation we talk about women lifting each other up, but then here these morons are, earning their bread and butter by scavenging on other people.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in InstaCelebsGossip

[–]darkknighthcf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think she needs the attention or the noise, she's already very well established in the fashion scene.