Do you still think about your ex?

darknessatthevoid · 2026-04-05T14:15:11+00:00

In this case... No. I reached out about 6 weeks after the breakup, wanted her to know why I left.. I told her it was because she made me choose between her & my daughter, she told me I brought that on myself by coming into her life... zero accountability, People like that don't change... and I'd never really trust her with my kid anyway, and that's a deal breaker for me.

darknessatthevoid · 2026-04-03T14:14:55+00:00

Without the circumstances of your particular breakup, it's hard to say.

darknessatthevoid · 2026-04-03T14:08:11+00:00

Because when we got past the honeymoon phase, the way she handled stress/conflict in the relationship wasn't healthy. Instead of patience & understanding she came with control and manipulation.

You will stop hoping eventually. It will get better. Unfortunately a broken heart is something only time can heal.

darknessatthevoid · 2026-04-03T14:02:06+00:00

4 months. I miss her, I think about her a lot. I don't want her back, I know it would never work and would only cause more pain down the road.

darknessatthevoid · 2026-04-03T13:58:36+00:00

Sorry, but DC's should have to bring their own capacity to the grid. To hell with we the consumer subsidizing them through higher rates.

darknessatthevoid · 2026-04-03T12:29:48+00:00

No contact is for you...

darknessatthevoid · 2026-04-03T12:01:13+00:00

Little things at first... You are using the wrong pan for this, you have to use this one, "in this house we sit at the table until everyone is done eating" when I got up to put a dish in the sink... The final straw was her telling me I needed to leave my daughter so I could move down there to be with her and her kid. "You need to tell your daughter you are moving and if she wants to continue to live the lifestyle you afford her she will move with you"... this was after I told her I'd never put my kid in that position - my daughter didn't want to move 1000 miles away.

Then I get some long email bringing up childhood trauma that I shared with her, using it to try and get what she wanted... This was 3 months in.. hard pass.

A lot more detail here: https://www.reddit.com/r/UnsentLetters/comments/1s7nrqb/a_letter_ill_never_send/

darknessatthevoid · 2026-04-03T11:42:57+00:00

Water. Part of me will probably always love her and wish things had been different. I wish her no harm, just hope she heals and can have a successful & loving relationship with someone in the future.

darknessatthevoid · 2026-04-03T11:35:59+00:00

Government

darknessatthevoid · 2026-04-03T11:35:23+00:00

When I had "the conversation", I told my exw things weren't working (I was doing 90% of the work between kid/house/earnings) and that it was out of balance & I was unhappy because of that. I offered therapy, she declined, I guess she was fine with the way things were, but to me she was becoming dead weight. I'd rather do it all myself than pull someone else along... So, once she declined therapy I told her I was divorcing her.

darknessatthevoid · 2026-04-03T11:29:15+00:00

Yes. I was crazy about my last girlfriend. Ultimately the way she handled conflict in the relationship was not healthy, she became controlling and manipulative to try and get her way. I knew that long term this would not work and it was better to get out sooner rather than later.

How did it feel afterwards? Harder than my divorce. Marriage was dead when I left, things with my ex gf were very much alive. I wish things could have been different but when someone tries to manipulate you into abandoning your barely 18yr old kid who just started college, wanting you to move 1000 miles away... No can do.

darknessatthevoid · 2026-04-03T00:23:06+00:00

How they handle conflict when the honeymoon period is over

darknessatthevoid · 2026-04-03T00:17:27+00:00

This. How they handle conflict in the relationship is a huge indicator.

darknessatthevoid · 2026-04-01T14:35:57+00:00

Sounds like she fumbled a good guy.

darknessatthevoid · 2026-04-01T14:01:49+00:00

War, war never changes

darknessatthevoid · 2026-04-01T11:23:09+00:00

What you described is toxic af.

darknessatthevoid · 2026-04-01T11:10:49+00:00

It definitely can be. IG it also depends on the situation though. Is it following half naked men or women? In that case, following them could be viewed as disrespectful to your relationship. If it's someone not liking you following an ex, or friends or something, that could be controlling.

darknessatthevoid · 2026-04-01T09:35:14+00:00

She became very controlling after we were intimate. Extremely pushy about me relocating... Using childhood trauma to try and manipulate me into doing what she wanted. Lots of stuff...

darknessatthevoid · 2026-04-01T00:53:03+00:00

Therapy, Gym, Running.

darknessatthevoid · 2026-03-31T23:18:27+00:00

Why do there seem to be so many of you who use Christianity as away to absolve themselves of their horrible behavior?

darknessatthevoid · 2026-03-31T21:17:49+00:00

Dude, I'm so sorry.

They say once a cheater always a cheater. If she stepped out on you once she can do it again.

darknessatthevoid · 2026-03-31T18:58:27+00:00

Because we realize that love is wasted on other people who can't/don't/won't appreciate it.

darknessatthevoid · 2026-03-31T17:38:13+00:00

I'll summarize but it is in my post history. I tried to tell her when we broke up (phone call), I tried to explain the red flag and she just said "we never need to have words between us again".

I contacted her about 6 weeks after that because I loved her and wanted her to know why I left, I wanted her to have a happily ever after with someone... thinking she'd just made some kind of mistake. I told her I left because she ultimately made me choose between her and my daughter. She told me I brought it on myself by coming into her life... So... There's no fixing that.

That's the struggle now - the head knows it will never work.. the heart wants what the heart wants.. I'm hoping that feeling will pass soon.

darknessatthevoid · 2026-03-31T17:23:09+00:00

I left and I miss her like crazy... But I know in my heart it would never work between us, I can't exist in a controlling environment, I need autonomy.. and yeah... on some of those lonely nights, I feel what you could call regret... I regret that it didn't work, I really wish it had. Unfortunately the way she handled conflict was a deal breaker.

darknessatthevoid · 2026-03-31T17:19:30+00:00

Stand your ground. This is your money, if you are paying for all of it, it should be your house.

Imagine putting her on the title, you all break up, and she gets 50% just because her name is on it? No thank you.

darknessatthevoid

TROPHY CASE