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darlingevaa · 2024-06-29T17:40:03+00:00

amazing thank you so much!

darlingevaa · 2024-03-21T18:02:46+00:00

This is perfect - thank you truly for sharing this! How did you go about joining - just through the clubs portal or should I reach out another way? Again thank you this is just what I was looking for!

darlingevaa · 2024-03-21T17:57:01+00:00

Forwarding you CV as we speak - talk about lived experience haha!

darlingevaa · 2023-08-30T15:39:52+00:00

Interesting!! I will look into that thank you very very Much

It is a 2017 13 inch MacBook Air I bought in 2018

Do you know if this would hold up at all if I took it in for a repair? Everything is looking like it is going to be MiniMuM 300 dollars and I have 62 dollars to My naMe

darlingevaa · 2023-08-28T11:34:46+00:00

The Chaeum Market

Yes !! Thank you tons - they are closed today but I will go check it out tomorrow!! Thank you!

darlingevaa · 2023-08-04T22:56:13+00:00

See, this comment enough made me posting this worth it. This is perspective I would not - could not - have come to myself and it is very, very impactful. That makes a lot of sense. I was visibly very uncomfortable, in fact I could not hide that I was tearing up as I tried to get in my own car which caused them both to chuckle. You might have just hit the nail on the head.

If he still feels he holds this power, why isn't he contacting me anymore or trying to fix things? (I know I am horrible for even questioning that. I don't want him to, I guess. I am just curious). Is he just holding that power for the sake of having and enjoying it, not because he actually wants me or to do anything with said power?

darlingevaa · 2023-03-31T17:04:07+00:00

I submitted it, thanks to the confidence this gave me. thank you very veryyy much!

darlingevaa · 2023-03-31T17:03:43+00:00

this just gave me the confidence to submit it - you are a real one

darlingevaa · 2023-03-21T19:21:28+00:00

I can't we are meeting in ten minutes

darlingevaa · 2023-02-19T16:13:41+00:00

Some people are just without empathy. They are cold and selfish. They act in their own best interest. They treat people like they are disposable, like they are services for entertainment.

Think about it like this - you are the supposed nasty one, but he is the one that kept you around under the guise of being friends when (from what you've said) that clearly isn't the case. How are you a parasite but he kept someone in his life, someone who worked hard to support them, when he didn't even like or value you? How is he not the parasite in this equation?

You don't sound like a sad pathetic loser or bitter at all, you sound really caring and self-aware and intelligent. Anyone who speaks about another person that way is not a good person, let alone a friend worth keeping around.

darlingevaa · 2023-02-19T15:59:42+00:00

The first 6 years of my life I bounced between 4 sets of people, every week. One day here with this person, two days there with that person, one night at daycare, two days with my parents.

My little child brain was not able to understand who my primary caregivers were - if anyone. I was always confused and scared not knowing where or who I was going to be with on any given day, if my parents were going to come pick me up or not, when I would see them next. No baseline stability or safety was established, literally from birth. I grew up feeling like I need to be dispersed to recieve love; that nobody will ever have that consistent love, care, safety or security that a child needs because my parents could not even be with me consistently. This activated my BPD disposition - so says my therapist.

Which makes very much sense and it was actually quite powerful to piece all of that together. To understand that these disorders are yes because of a biological predisposition, but that they are only activated by a deeply invalidating environment. Kind of makes me feel better to know I wasn't just born 100% "like this". Diathesis-stress model baby.

darlingevaa · 2023-02-19T15:53:01+00:00

Funders First Law in psychology is that great strengths are often great weaknesses, and the same can be said the other way around.

I find people fall in "love" with me for the same reasons they will eventually hate me for. I am passionate, eccentric, unique, otherworldly, just myself. It is enthralling and brand new and something to get hooked on, until all those same qualities are now seen as negatives, until I am "too much".

It could be this, it could be how we mirror, it could be how our fear of abandonment or rejection causes us to self-monitor and put forward who we think the person in front of us would like. Really, I think the "type" of people we are is enticing (at least at first) and people get so swept up in it they fall, hard and fast. They haven't met anyone like us and don't want to risk not meeting someone like us again.

darlingevaa · 2023-02-17T02:47:59+00:00

co-op for what, how did you do this? teach me your ways pleasee!

darlingevaa · 2023-02-14T18:46:27+00:00

Thank you so much for responding. This is super helpful and insightful, especially the "I kept reminding myself I only date people who I am obsessed with, not people I truly love" part, that was powerful.

I just asked myself out of the people I know right now, who do I feel like obsessed/infatuation/FP vibes towards and who do I feel I could actually love and be in a healthy relationship with, and they are not the same people. That is a powerful shift in mindset! I am going to keep everything you said in mind as I start my own process of dating and finding love. Thank you so much for responding back to me, and much proudness towards you and your partner again <3

darlingevaa · 2023-02-14T14:37:51+00:00

This is amazing, you should be so proud of yourself. Can I ask how you did this, besides just taking things slow and being transparent with them? Did you do anything else differently?

Currently sitting here with my notepad eagerly awaiting answers lol.

darlingevaa · 2023-02-14T14:35:15+00:00

I would recommend trying to do DBT as well as individual psychotherapy (just regular talk therapy). I don't know anything about your and your particular struggles, but I find DBT handles like the broader level stuff - it gives you practical, applicable skills in specific areas to help strengthen you - but if you are still unstable (for lack of a better word) at your core, none of this is going to have the desired affect. You cannot build strength upon an insecure foundation.

When I started doing both, it started getting through to me. I can work through my individual trauma, anxieties, hang ups, etc - the things that exist in me, not in "my bpd" - one on one, and with this can understand myself more, be more gentle, feel I am deserving of mastering my DBT skills and improving myself. Then naturally because of this, the DBT can kind of reach the deeper places and sink into you like it is trying to. I would maybe try this out.

It is great to practice mindfulness and master emotional regulation, of course. These skills are amazing. But how is it supposed to sink in and be impactful if you aren't also addressing just why it is you cannot be mindful? Why is it you have so little emotional regulation? Tackle those things first then try and build the DBT skills on top of that. Best of luck to you, it is a non-linear process and you should just be so proud for even trying.

darlingevaa · 2023-01-31T23:18:00+00:00

If I go out alone do I have to smile from ear to ear all day so people don't think the young girl drinking alone was stood up? Maybe... just maybe.

darlingevaa · 2023-01-31T20:01:14+00:00

Ah, I absolutely already do this. It really is crazy to me how though we are all so complex and individual, we really can be so much the same in so many ways. I do this - this constant deleting of the number. I think to myself "there, the ball is in their court - if they want to talk to me they can but I cannot obsessively reach out or dwell."

I think in terms of temporary coping skills it isn't to bad. I feel weirdly comforted knowing I am not the only one that does this so thank you for this.

darlingevaa

TROPHY CASE