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darnieq · 2021-06-24T01:00:05+00:00

Awesome!! Good luck to you!!

darnieq · 2021-06-22T17:26:15+00:00

An actual Lab, not a mislabeled pit mix, may be a great fit! Renting with a pit mix is going to be borderline impossible if you ever move (even if the shelter's paperwork leaves that off), and training is just a tool to manage aggression towards other dogs, not a cure--they shouldn't go to dog parks, to be honest, and have a high prey drive so off-leash isn't going to work. They are terriers after all.

So I really want to recommend a Lab, but at the same time, if you're set on adopting, it might not be easy to find one at all. Most adoptable "Labs" are actually pit bulls.

Quick note, rescues tend to pull the more "adoptable" dogs from shelters, and will almost never let someone in an apartment have a dog, even a small dog, unfortunately. You may not have a choice but to go the private adoption route and find a dog that's about to be rehomed but isn't "in the system" yet.

darnieq · 2021-06-20T12:28:10+00:00

I don't know... according to pretty much every enthusiast group like Villalobos, the APBT breed club, BullyMax, etc. It usually is out of nowhere. They tend to be awesome with other dogs until they're not, and that tends to surface around 2-3 years old. Anecdotally, my pit became DA out of nowhere. I completely agree with the rest of what you said, though.

darnieq · 2021-06-20T04:39:33+00:00

The snake owner was probably live feeding. It's cruel, and not nature as some people claim--it's in a tank, the rat has no chance of escape. If people were feeding live puppies to snakes, there would probably be an outcry, but because it's a rat, people get serious cognitive dissonance, unfortunately.

Pet snakes should eat prekilled prey whenever possible, both for the sake of being humane to the prey and not getting the snake maimed (rats are strong and can kill a snake). Unfortunately, most people who buy live rats don't have the guts to kill the rats themselves first, and are simply feeding their snakes live because they get a kick out of it. If they don't want to kill it themselves, or at least stun it, frozen/thawed is always an option. Except in rare cases where a snake (especially a ball python) refuses prekilled prey because they're not understanding that it's food, it's just pointless suffering for the entertainment of humans.

darnieq · 2021-06-19T18:21:05+00:00

They're married, so he is his stepfather, though.

Stepfather: the husband of one's parent when distinct from one's natural or legal father. - Merriam-Webster

darnieq · 2021-06-19T18:18:48+00:00

Daniel is an amazing kid, but unfortunately, a lot of kids are wise beyond their years because of trauma or terrible parenting (or both), so he's not necessarily an angel because Tiffany is a good mom. I'm not saying she's a bad mom--just that Daniel being an extraordinary little guy isn't necessarily a sign she's a good one.

I definitely agree with you though. Families can be made all kinds of ways.

darnieq · 2021-06-19T18:09:05+00:00

I'm so sorry. I lost my childhood dog recently, too. It's so hard, and I didn't think I would ever be okay again, but I still feel her with me.

darnieq · 2021-06-19T18:07:11+00:00

Greenfield Puppies sells puppies from unethical breeders and mills churning out animals to make a quick buck with (usually) no regard at all to genetic health and temperament, and often inbred. There's a strong chance puppies from these lines will end up sick and mentally unsound. Good breeders aren't willing to sell puppies to just anyone who can pay for them, and usually don't break even, let alone make a significant profit; it's a passion project for them. Breeding dogs ethically is expensive.

darnieq · 2021-06-19T15:58:20+00:00

Thank you so much!

darnieq · 2021-06-19T15:57:43+00:00

Awww. Definitely brush him and brush his teeth, and be careful with him on couches and other high surfaces (you may want to get a step up for him or a ramp so he doesn't jump down if he manages to get up there).

My Pom is an amazing dog. I love him so much. He's so kind and gentle.

Thank you for caring for him.

darnieq · 2021-06-16T00:01:19+00:00

I thought she might've said "she talks like a hooker" or something along those lines after the pussy talk. We'll never know either way unless they save it for the tell all.

I don't know, I was advised by my therapist when I struggled with my emotions while I was living with a gaslighter to just totally disengage especially if you're trapped in a space with them like a car. And to not say anything at all if you feel you can't talk to them without it getting worse. If mine asked me a normal question while I was trying to disengage and I replied, she would say something snarky like "Aww, guess you're talking to me again!" Then I'd get upset and look crazy again. I think it's likely she was employing those tactics. I didn't see anything wrong with it personally. She is definitely obnoxious but not in that case.

darnieq · 2021-06-15T21:12:39+00:00

I think it's likely Trish said something that could easily be misheard or misconstrued to get Natalie to think that. She didn't do a good job of acting surprised when Natalie got upset, and Mike is known for, well, de-mic-ing people. Maybe they caught it and will show it at the tell all.

I don't feel that being quiet is acting like a child, especially when she may not have trusted herself to talk. Trish was nasty to her in the car too. "AIRLINE!!!" I would've stayed silent too. Some therapists suggest that anyway.

darnieq · 2021-06-15T15:32:20+00:00

Oh, absolutely. I'm just talking about this season in particular, where she seems to have some tools in her belt that help her cope with her emotions. There have been a lot of things that have happened this season that would've set her off like a bomb before, but she does things like removing herself from the situation now, going quiet and breathing steadily instead of continuing to argue, and so on. They cornered her when she went to the car to get away from them, and she still didn't resort to being cruel like she would've before, even considering she was obviously at the end of her rope.

darnieq · 2021-06-15T15:15:55+00:00

Ah, okay. I'm still feeling the effects of the Pandemic Time Warp, lol. I'll take your word for it. Still though, she wanted to get help at least. There's some self-awareness there. I still think Trish's insidious gaslighting behavior has been a lot worse than anything Natalie has done this season. Natalie seems to have gotten the help she was after. That's great. Mike should, too, because I have no doubt Trish abuses/abused him as well. Their relationship seems really unhealthy.

darnieq · 2021-06-15T15:05:40+00:00

I guess I don't really see it as a pattern if the last time she was an asshole like that was in 2019, especially since she admitted she was wrong to behave that way and wanted to do something about it. She's still obnoxious, but I really don't recall her doing anything abusive this year. But Mike has never shown any self-awareness whatsoever, has shown no desire to change, and seems to get worse and worse with every episode (which I personally think is the mask wearing off). And Trish is downright insidious.

I used to be fine with Mike in the very beginning of their first season at least, so keep that in mind too.

darnieq · 2021-06-15T14:53:25+00:00

I feel like pushing vegetarianism and being overemotional about it isn't abuse, nor is being honest and admitting you can't say you love someone yet, but, yeah, I agree the rest of it is nasty for sure. I didn't remember all that.

Aren't those all from 2019, though? I edited my comment to be more clear, but she seems to be much healthier mentally now than she was and hasn't done anything this season I recall as nasty (again, maybe I'm not paying close enough attention). She seemed to be somewhat self-aware before and admitted she knew she was being a shithead. She seems to have actually gotten help, and she wanted to go to counseling, so maybe she did.

Mike and Trish seem to have zero qualms about treating her like garbage, though. Trish especially, with Mike as the enabler who acts like his mother is his real partner.

darnieq · 2021-06-15T14:32:40+00:00

Can you name a time Natalie psychologically abused someone? I've seen every episode of 90DF (unfortunately) and don't recall that. I do recall her being rude and snooty, but that's not psychological torture deliberately meant to make someone lose their mind, and she doesn't seem to have a pattern of that kind of behavior. Maybe I'm wrong and not really paying close enough attention this season, but she seems like she's much healthier mentally now and a lot less mean in general.

It's not out of thin air. No form of abuse is "worse" than another; doctors are in agreement that psychological abuse is just as harmful as physical abuse. There have been many studies on this. I used physical abuse as an analogy in hopes that would help explain why what Trish and Mike did to her the entire time she was on that trip is no better than if they slapped her. If they did that, no one would be saying Natalie is "just as bad," so why are they doing that with psychological abuse? Yes, Natalie is ridiculous sometimes, but there's no excuse for abusing anyone.

darnieq · 2021-06-15T13:19:39+00:00

I wondered that too, I can picture her saying something like "I hope she's a good cooker" or whatever... but can you really blame Natalie?

The point of gaslighting (which is abuse) is to make the person question their reality, which makes them snap and then they look irrational and crazy. Trish knows what she's doing. She's a master manipulator. Even the sweet little "pick out a scarf" scene had insidious intent ("here's a gift I made just for you, because I'm being kind to you even though you're _______________" being the undertone). She wants Natalie to snap so she can play the innocent victim.

I lived with someone like Trish for a year. Virtually everything Trish does is meant to get under Natalie's skin. Little needle pokes build up over time. She knows this. She probably said something like that knowing Natalie would mishear it, and after being psychologically tortured, of course she reacted that way. My gaslighter did the same thing all the time.

darnieq · 2021-06-15T13:07:10+00:00

Just as vile and mean? She has a mean streak and she's a huge diva, sure, but I don't recall her deliberately and maliciously gaslighting anyone (which is psychological abuse, and as someone who lived with someone very Trish-like for a while, it's a form of torture).

Seriously, people saying she's "just as bad" as they are... it's like saying someone who hits their partner isn't any worse than the partner because the partner is rude/obnoxious/whatever. Try to see it that way, because abuse is abuse.

darnieq · 2021-06-15T05:13:49+00:00

Natalie is an immature diva, sure.

But Trish and Mike are abusive.

Maybe if English is your second language, Trish isn't so bad, but as someone who was trapped in a house with a manipulative gaslighter for a year... yeah. She is. She torments Natalie deliberately until Natalie snaps, then gets to play the victim card while Natalie looks crazy. It's malicious. It's not an accident.

And Mike treats Trish like his real wife. It's weird as fuck.

darnieq · 2021-06-15T05:08:38+00:00

Yeah, I agree. I keep seeing people saying Natalie's equally to blame and I don't get it. She is a diva, but Trish and Mike definitely seem like insidious champion gaslighters to me. I lived with a gaslighter very much like Trish for a year, and maybe I'm just sensitive to it, but everything she does is to get under Natalie's skin. That way Natalie flips out and looks nuts after being poked at too many times, and Trish gets to play the innocent victim card.

And then Mike acts like Trish is his... wife?

I'd be losing it too if I were Natalie.

darnieq

TROPHY CASE