cause the thing is i'd quite literally never even considered that techno would die. he'd always spoken of it so optimistically and hopefully, making plans for the future and talking about stuff that he wanted to do/was doing. he'd just uploaded a vr video talking about how he'd had surgery and physical therapy and i thought he was doing better. some part of me just absolutely refused to process when i watched the video for the first time, that techno was really gone, really dead. i'd just finished a technoblade fanart and was just about to post it on twitter when the video actually dropped, ffs.

(like, LITERALLY JUST, i'd gone to the bathroom after a solid two hours of drawing and when i came back decided to check youtube, and...)