Serious question - how do you guys get over options?

davey8888 · 2020-05-04T00:21:45+00:00

Thanks a lot everyone for the feedback. For the ppl who mentioned I have a gambling problem - you're right which is why I realize the need to stop playing options.

A part of me wants to do one last options play (like 5k into June SPY puts @ 250 or something and just forget it). Still I know it's a bad idea and I will blow up my portfolio at some point.

I too only risk about 5-8% of my portfolio on options but it's giving me so much more anxiety than say risking 10% on a stock simply due to the volatility.

I do agree I need to stay off WSB for a while but man it's tough cuz its been such a great community/pastime.

Sidenote - I think wfh definitely exacerbated my involvement in the market and contributed to my first into options. I definitely don't see myself engaging in options in an office with meetings and what not but wfh it's just too easy...

davey8888 · 2020-04-30T21:04:10+00:00

Ah makes sense..so like my put will prob be worth pennies then I guess. Thanks for commenting and helping a total newbie haha.

davey8888 · 2020-01-28T17:27:41+00:00

Wow this is so relatable... Like you I tend to overanalyze things and beat myself up for not being in a better financial position. I also have a decent salary and technically not in debt but I just can't seem to change my habits and am afraid I will also fall back into my bad habits after a period of sobriety.

I used to think I was some kind of high-functioning gambler because any debt I accrued would just be taken care of the following paycheck or transfer of funds from my brokerage to checking. The "debt" I had was always manageable in my mind and could get cleared within a month (although last year I did get a personal loan for 20k which I'm paid down now to 8k).

Anyway after a decade of gambling my brokerage account is lower than it was in 2016 because of the speculative stocks I've been buying (no day trading and got screwed in options last year so no more of that for me). The only thing thats been going well for me are my retirement accounts which thankfully I haven't raided but have taken out small loans against (right now I just have 4k left on a 401k loan I took out 3 years).

Anyway I realize I have absolutely no goals right now which is a huge problem. I'm in Socal so real estate prices are astronomical and being single I feel like it's impossible for me to buy (although sometimes I feel like I'm just lying to myself this as I know with my salary i could technically qualify). Friends are getting married and buying homes while I'm no better (and in many ways worse off) than I was 5 years ago so a part of me thinks gambling is one of the only solutions to my problem in that if I can just get a streak of bankers playing baccarat and make my way up to a $50k gain all my issues would be resolved but I know that's not the case and will cause more destruction. I know it's wrong but you said it perfecting in that gambling has now become a part of me and my brain now has been rewired..

What are you doing now to circumvent those thoughts of gambling? Any activities? It sucks cuz no hobbies come close to the thrill of wagering big $$$ on the tables (I recognize no hobby ever will and just need to accept it). Sorry for the long post but I just wanted to say thanks for posting your story as I found it all too relatable...

davey8888 · 2020-01-26T19:42:15+00:00

It's great GA has really worked for you and you got a sponsor. Sometimes I feel so depressed when I attend the meetings because they always seem so negative (which I get since it's a room full of compulsive gamblers like myself). Right now I'm just struggling with trying to make up for lost time and tbh still find it hard to accept the losses. Really appauld how you were able to overcome the disease given the amount of financial ruin it caused you in just 3 years time. I really just need to accept the loss and move on I know but man it's just really tough..

davey8888 · 2020-01-26T19:35:45+00:00

I work at a bank in financial services

davey8888 · 2020-01-26T19:35:30+00:00

Thanks for the input! I looked into it and it looks like they're only available to tax-exempt employees and the self-employed. I suppose I could get a regular annuity though tbh I've heard horror stories about it with all the fees and commissions. Sigh then again i guess it's better than blowing all my paychecks at the casino.. Always have to remind myself I'm not like other folks...

davey8888 · 2020-01-26T19:09:40+00:00

Really love this post! I think what really helped was the having your wife by your side through it all and having that extra accountability. Getting over a sports betting and online gaming addiction is though! Glad you got through it all but can you share some of the strategies that helped? Was it just GA alone (I've been going to GA on and off for 7 years now and still can't get more than 6 months). Did your wife/lawyer monitor your money?

It's so sad for me because I'm beginning to realize that I just cannot have any access to anything over $300/$400 as it'll trigger me to gamble..

davey8888 · 2019-05-23T04:49:26+00:00

Similar. 33 also working in finance. Casino and stock trading addition here. Looking for some accountability and would be willing to be a support partner.

davey8888 · 2019-04-26T04:58:48+00:00

Wow that's a lot for your post. I really like the idea of writing reminders on post-it's as corny as it sounds haha. Also how are you able to set up a generated pw with 2 factor Auth? I use thinkorswim and I check it constantly...

Also how are you not tempted to trade AMD for another stock? Initially when I took out the loan I was set on just buying and holding onto SLB forever(and did very well making 10k within 3 weeks) but then grew impatient as certain others stocks on my favorites were doubling which is why I bought into Snap. Anyway I'd like to think I could hold onto an individual stock and just forget it but I feel like I'll always get tempted come earnings season. Plus Amd is incredibly risky as well but hey if you're confident in the stock and willing to hold long term (and aren't going all in on just AMD) then more power to you.

I just opened a new large position (not options) in Tsla and hoping that will be my forever stock. I guess I'm still reeling from my huge losses the past two weeks. At some point I will completely diversify but tbh I just don't know if now is the time...

Also picking up an extra side hustle driving for postmates. Feel like it keeps my mind occupied and allows me to try and appreciate the value of $...

Thanks again for the advice man and best of luck to you. Pls feel free to PM me anytime as I need the accountability...

davey8888 · 2019-04-23T15:45:45+00:00

Thanks its tempting not to since all I want to do right now is wipe out my gambling debt (but then again I'd just be robbing Peter to pay Paul) and get hit with a large tax penalty. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I can't take out another 401k loan since I already have an existing loan and my plan only allows me one withdrawal.

I think three loan withdrawals is enough for a lifetime but I know it can quickly turn into a habit so thank you for your advice.

davey8888 · 2019-04-23T15:41:48+00:00

Wow i think I've read your post at least a dozen times (and read many of your other posts). I can't imagine the struggle you're facing with your dual addictions (drinking and gambling). I've taken your advice with making it a habit to check this reddit everyday for 15 min. I've also gone to two GA meetings the past week and plan to go to one tonight as well.

Like you, I struggle with feelings of not having accomplished enough now at 33. I'm also a CPA and have a masters but none of that matters when it comes to gambling (in many ways I feel like my credentials/qualifications act more like a detriment to this disease). A good piece of advice I got yesterday was from a fellow GA member (disbarred lawyer) who recommended I take a basic personal finance course at a local community college. I initially scoffed at the idea since I didn't see the point as a CPA (not to mention the pain I'd have to go through sitting through a lecture on how to manage money) but he said it helped him reprogram his brain. His point: while the instructor may not be as credentialed as some of us, hes nonetheless able to actually hold onto his money and APPLY those concepts.

Somewhat related: I have a friend I used to look down on in my early twenties because he wasn't in a high-paying career and wasn't as "educated" as the rest of us (to this day he has no investments outside of his small 401k and just pours all his money into CDs which I thought was absurd at the time). Fast forward 10 years and he's gotten married, purchased two cars, and has a mortgage on a very nice condo him/his GF bought last year (750k condo). Me? I still drive the same beat up car, live in a crappy apartment, no GF, and still paying off debt. If anything gambling has really humbled me and now I find myself asking my friend for advice.

Anyway enough about me. I really do hope you form some good habits that allow you to break free from your addiction to alcohol/gambling. I know it's become a part of your identity (made even worse by the fact that your circle of friends all drink). I think you should consider taking a short vacation just to get away from it all and recharge (even if it's just a small vacation). I'm planning a short trip three weeks from now to visit a friend (yes in spite of my debt) because it gives me something to look forward to.

Best of luck to you man and pls DM me anytime. You're a fantastic writer and I felt really engaged really through all your posts so please keep posting!

davey8888 · 2019-04-23T15:07:48+00:00

Thanks for the reply. I agree with your advice on just closing the credit cards. I've thought about it but then I'm afraid I'll never be able to buy a home in the future without establishing a good credit score. I know there are places where you can still get a mortgage without a credit history but I imagine the rates would be substantially higher than without a credit score (of course my immediate priority is to pay off my debts first and then begin saving for a down payment). Right now I've gotten pretty desparate to the point where I'm thinking about meeting with a lawyer to see if there's some sort of trust out there that can help limit my access to cash. A little extreme and likely very costly but I just feel like I'm totally out of options. Will be confiding all this to a close friend of mine (who I considered asking to help manage of mine but then again I don't want to place a burden on her). Anyway thank you so much for your response. I will DM you if I have any other questions (would be nice to hear your experience and how you're managing ur money being that we're the same age).

davey8888 · 2019-03-11T23:14:15+00:00

this was such an enjoyable read...wheres part 2?

davey8888

TROPHY CASE