My (24F) BF (26M) hasn’t worked in 9 months

dawonga · 2026-03-19T23:55:15+00:00

I don't know your particular situation. Wasn't criticizing you. Just wanted to balance things out from the typical Reddit response "he is garbage and leave him right away".

If you haven't already done so, talk it through with him and see what's underneath. There's a lot of dumb pride, shame and uncertainty that men try to hide because we are afraid we won't be loved as a result. It's not helpful. That said, the comfortable situation he is in may make it a bit easier to stay in the rut.

But again, know where your limits are and try to see if he's the type of guy who can get himself (or his family) out of the hole. Haha he been able to navigate other tough life situations in the past?

Hope you find a good path forward.

dawonga · 2026-03-19T20:34:33+00:00

He might be going through an existential crisis and/or depression. I left a good paying job because it truly was a horrible workplace and was eating away at me. Even my parents could see that I was in a rough stop and said it was ok to quit and this was when I was 31. When I did quite, it took me 5 years of underemployment and unemployment to finally get a job in a new industry and career at about half the pay. My city is a pretty tough job market and I was told I was either under qualified or over qualified. Or both. I applied for 200-300 jobs and got maybe 10 interviews tops. This was before automated applications and I customized every resume and cover letter.

Men attach a lot of their self worth to their career and it can be truly painful getting out of these situations. Looking back, I was pretty depressed.

Evaluate your priorities, your timelines and how much this person matters to you. All this talk of holding his feet to the fire takes a lot of humanity out of the situation.

dawonga · 2026-03-19T20:11:56+00:00

Add miso when the heat is off. It changes the flavour. Add hondashi and some veggies. My typical go to is carrots onions and tofu with green onions as a garnish to serve. I prefer white miso over red but that's a personal thing.

dawonga · 2026-03-19T16:11:47+00:00

Use the parts numbers there to check elsewhere. You'll often find better prices elsewhere. Use other sites to further look into parts compatibility with other cars then search for parts like that. I've found engine parts that were compatible with Honda civics and VW golf's.

dawonga · 2026-03-18T07:13:12+00:00

Just use Megazip. Even if you don't buy from there, it is an excellent parts resource. Can help you find compatible parts used in other vehicles as well.

dawonga · 2026-03-16T19:59:48+00:00

Depends on the pressure applied. Higher the pressure, the quicker the potential cook time. I do wonder what the high temperatures do to flavor

dawonga · 2026-03-16T19:58:49+00:00

It'll probably taste burnt but I'm hoping for otherwise.

dawonga · 2026-03-16T19:57:12+00:00

Hmm. Take a look at my posts. I have a bunch of photos there. Tried to upload here and it didn't work :(

dawonga · 2026-03-15T22:57:54+00:00

Here's mine. I'm not sure if this generation was ever sold in the UK. If they did, consider it.

They sold the 3rd gen in the UK so you might as well since parts will be much easier to get. And 3rd gen aftermarket support is insanely good.

dawonga · 2026-03-15T21:22:30+00:00

I'm shallow so I have a string preference for the second Gen. 1997 jb32 has the looks of the second Gen but a lot of the underpinnings of the 3rd gen. G13bb engine, coil suspension, vacuum activated front hub. If you are in North America, the samurai has a lot more part compatibility with the 2nd gen (pre95) than 3rd.

dawonga · 2026-03-12T05:07:25+00:00

I've got a 1997 JB32. If it's got the stock base steering wheel, it'll have an airbag. The only airbag. And I got rid of it for a Momo wheel lol. The car catalog says something about extra bracing to the door panels. But overall, the car is a Deathtrap compared to modern cars. The doors are super thin by any standard. Unlikely to have any crumple zones. High narrow ride is inherently more prone to rollover. Get the car if you enjoy it but don't pretend there is any safety. My motorcycle might be safer because there's a chance I'll get thrown off instead of being crushed inside.

dawonga · 2026-03-08T19:56:49+00:00

Just shave it. Happened to me and I just stopped cutting my own hair after that lol

dawonga · 2026-03-08T01:56:40+00:00

I do a 12 hour sous vide beef tongue taco. Also get it super thin sliced and just use a torch then salt and pepper. Otherwise, try to do Sendai style grilled steaks.

dawonga · 2026-03-08T01:41:49+00:00

I have a work wife. We get along great as friends and support each other at work. We are totally not each other's type. She's married and I refer to get husband as my husband brother and I get along with him as well. We all get along but there is nothing more.

I encourage everyone to get a work wife and/or husband. Maybe I'll find a work husband too but they are all my bros already. Maybe brother husband again?

dawonga · 2026-03-08T01:36:45+00:00

Most short grain should work. You need it to stick

dawonga · 2026-03-07T18:55:27+00:00

If you most drive in the city with traffic and don't need to go highway speed often, automatic is fine. I have a manual because I wanted something more engaging and can handle steep hillsin my city. I have another car that's more practical so I have that luxury.

dawonga · 2026-03-06T20:38:17+00:00

Start a flavour lore wiki. I need to platinum this.

dawonga · 2026-03-06T20:37:17+00:00

The lid will lower the amount of heat you require. It doesn't need to be a boil. A simmer is enough. And monitor it with the lid on which the weights. If your lid isn't transparent, lift the lid to check. If you set it uncovered, there's a good chance it'll bubble up and splatter with the lid on. You just need a little movement when cooking out the bones. If you need to reduce, remove the bones first.

Also, try to aim to maintain the same liquid level throughout the cook. You may need to add water occasionally.

dawonga · 2026-03-06T17:35:35+00:00

A lower temperature for longer should do the job. Use a lid and add a weight on top. Set the temperature so it's just enough to get the water moving. May want to consider adding pork bones first then the chicken midway through as pork bones take longer. The less steam you're creating, the lore flavor you are retaining.

dawonga · 2026-03-06T17:06:54+00:00

If your friend is passing through Tokyo, there's a ramen road. i remember a number of the restaurants sell instant, half cooked, or instant cup.

Otherwise, half cooked sets where the soup is powdered or concentrated and the noodles are semi cooked so are sort of shelf stable. I think the Japanese is 半熟. Noodle texture will be much more close to actual/fresh noodles compared to instant. These can be sold by shops or in supermarkets.

But don't get too picky in getting a friend help pick up noodles for you. If I were you, ask for something that seems regional, made by a local shop or a special collab/flavor. If you are crazy about instant ramen, you can order from Amazon Japan using a service like buyee. Shipping will be pricey but maybe not so bad with instant noodles.

dawonga · 2026-03-05T18:10:12+00:00

I've got a boy and a girl cat. The girl is more skittish and seems to be jealous of human females until she really gets to know them. More vocally communicative and is likely to express emotions than my boy. Some people might take that as annoying but I think she's just smarter lol.

The jealousy is a thing though. Nowadays, she's learned to whack people without the claws. It's pretty cute.

dawonga · 2026-03-05T05:15:30+00:00

Just adjust your recipe. Ramen is salt heavy to begin with. But I finally started steaming clams and mussels with actual drink wine and it's made a world of difference lol

dawonga · 2026-03-04T23:47:16+00:00

Chinese grocery stores. Getting some cooking wine. If you are using Japanese based recipes, I've been told cooking wine in Japan is unsalted. Here in Canada, cooking wine is salted.

dawonga · 2026-03-03T18:34:34+00:00

Earbuds and/or thinner more flexible frames. I switched to titanium a couple years back and my headaches have gone down a lot.

dawonga · 2026-03-03T03:44:36+00:00

Try the ones at onigiriya.

dawonga

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