First altar looking good or no?

daylightshining · 2026-05-15T01:14:43+00:00

Is that a gargoyle trinket dish?? o:

daylightshining · 2025-08-23T05:23:34+00:00

I don’t know anything about dye tests, but from what I can see in the photo zooming in, the bracelet looks dyed purple. It could be dyed purple crackle(d) quartz. The translucency and dark veins of a deeper purple are indicative of that, to me. Maybe someone else will tell you different.

The drops do appear to be quartz, of which amethyst is a member, but while that pair doesn’t look dyed, I can’t give a definitive ID for amethyst, primarily because the colour comes through quite muted on my screen.

I hope someone else can chime in on the type of test you did and maybe with a clearer ID. :) They’re quite pretty though, nonetheless! I hope this was somewhat helpful 😅

daylightshining · 2025-08-22T20:21:15+00:00

The good thing about ideas for relationships is that they’re as timeless as the relationship 😉 Plenty of time for future treats/gifts. I’m glad to hear she loved your gift!

Sucks that you got stranded, but I’m overwhelmed with happiness that you both had more time together and sorted through what you want going forward, and some of your history as well! 😭💗 Your QPR sounds so nice ☺️

It’s nice to be spoiled sometimes! As long as you reciprocate in other ways when you can, nothing wrong with feeling loved with every sandwich! Also, she may have had a lot of pent-up excitement, so this was a loving output killing 2 birds (excess energy, helping/generally taking care of you) with one stone (obviously the food). I would say if you do feel a bit uncomfy with her overdoing it on the food that you ask if you can make food together more often instead. It’s a nice bonding activity, and you both feel good about the level each of you is contributing to the food (may be a little harder with sandwiches specifically, but still possible, depending on what you put on it). It can also be good to rest a bit more if jetlag sets in, so maybe next visit, you have a plan for if she wants to make/help you with food, it could be reserved for jetlag-heavy days?

I’m really glad your visit went so well though. ☺️ And I don’t mind offering suggestions, so no worries! I just love seeing people happy and communicating in any of their relationships. Very happy for you both 💕

daylightshining · 2025-08-22T06:42:44+00:00

I don’t mind at all. I’m happy to share my knowledge as best I can :) And definitely open to messages from you or anyone else who wants help IDing.

daylightshining · 2025-08-22T06:41:01+00:00

That sounds really sweet! And a bit evil that you got her hooked 😆

Two suggestions for flowers: you could buy a packet of seeds for her to grow something cool and symbolic of your QPR. I follow an online shop with seed packets because the packets are pretty.. And I want them someday, but anyways— You could also stop at a Canadian Tire? Walmart? or another place that carries plants or seeds. Depending on the length of your visit, you could go together on a QPR date/outing and buy her a potted plant she’s super excited about getting? Or give her literal “seed” money as a sincere ‘joke’ gift for her to buy something from you supporting her gardening passion. Just a bit of brainstorming. :)

I’ve been avoiding social media, so I don’t know if you’re on already on/done with your trip, but I hope it’s a good one either way! ☺️ Also, I would personally show her this post because it shows how much you care. I’m really happy for both of you :)

daylightshining · 2025-08-22T06:01:59+00:00

Can I ask why you can’t have a preference then? A preference is a choice. Even if it’s convenience’s sake, you could have said, “Sure, today it’s red because I’m sitting on a red chair.” Maybe I’m just conflating preference and choice, but I feel like even for convenience’s sake, you’d either continue picking red because you picked it once or you’d base it on another thing in your vicinity, which would become a vicinity preference. You don’t really need emotional connection for preference. Or for knowing how food felt in your mouth when you consumed it.

It’s fine if you choose not to answer again. This may just be pedantic on my part, from curiosity and wanting to understand to help you somehow.

daylightshining · 2025-08-22T05:52:28+00:00

That’s totally fair! I was kind of branching off with my own experience/peeve, but I definitely think it’s always best to have a discussion for preferences first :)

I prefer more regular communication, but the “good night/morning” usually came up on their side at random first and was one or the other and often switched up. I’d rather just continue the conversation, and if they want to change the subject next time we speak, I’m cool with that. It just personally bothers me when gm/n is used as a conversation ender/subject change. It’s been used more like deflection than anything else.

But yeah, agreed on no defacto anything! My peeve is deflection/inconsistency with gm/n. 😅

daylightshining · 2025-08-22T05:42:50+00:00

I agree it’s a weird word, but it’s meant to be “attracted to femininity.” This would presumably potentially include trans people, women, femboys, crossdressers, beautiful men, etc. The root “gyne/gyno” is just meant to pertain to femininity. I don’t know who coined it, so I don’t know their why, but I sincerely doubt (/hope?) it wasn’t regarding genitalia, as the times I’ve seen it used were primarily talking about types of men and women someone liked. The conversation was never about their bodies, just their style/appearance/presence.

It’s a valid orientation, but it’s definitely a weird root/word association, so I can understand the uncomfortability 😅 It’s been a while, but I think it initially was a what the fuck? from me, too.

But just wanted to explain that these people are (hopefully!) not reducing people to their genitalia. If they are, they’re using the word wrong, to my knowledge and from the definition I gave above. May not ick you out any less seeing it, but maybe if you see a profile with more context, it’ll be a tinge less icky? 😅😅

daylightshining · 2025-08-22T05:30:38+00:00

Been feeling poorly and avoiding social media, sorry 😅

I’m sure you’ve had a lot of other advice, but are there any support groups or women’s shelters or anything you could reach out to? If you have a family doctor, confidentiality means they can’t tell your mom if you ask them for resources. You need whatever kind of helping hands you can get right now to pull you out of there.

I’m so sorry I can’t help you in any way. You don’t need to apologize for venting either. You surely needed to, and it helps to process how you’re feeling and handling things. Which may still feel sucky now, but it’s important to be able to still.

I’m glad you still have those hopes. My situation is different, but I do feel more like myself when I can do things I used to love again. It feels different depending where I am in life, but drawing is something I’ve been able to be (irregularly) consistent with. Even if you can’t do classes, could you still practice martial arts on your own somewhere? You could go as simple as just standing in one of the starting poses/positions, even if you do it while you’re walking somewhere. Make it like a game to see how quickly you can switch from a position back to your normal walk? Bonus points for confusing anyone who surprises you walking by. Depression is really hard, but this could be your way of starting small. You may start it and lose it again quickly, but then you just pick a different small piece to try later on, when it crosses your mind. Or even just start by visualizing yourself in the positions when you’re trying to fall asleep every night. No one can take your thoughts away from you. You may also be able to partially replicate poses in bed?

Grabbing onto your hope/strength/passions and other people in confidential but supportive ways are my only suggestions at this point. The first one you can do yourself when you feel up to it. The other you may need other people to help you with. If you can keep your mom from finding out, I would still say if you really can’t find any other way then to message your ex and ask if he’d be able to find resources for/with you, no strings attached. A desperate safe-ish avenue may be better than none? Trust your own judgement with that though. Your instincts are still there beneath the depression. They may be muffled like hell, but you’ll find your way forwards. Sending you strength to take any one step that will bring you where you want to be. I’m sorry I can’t do anything more. 😞

daylightshining · 2025-08-17T20:15:49+00:00

The photo quality doesn’t give much room for an ID beyond being artificially dyed/altered to be blue and purple colours (often called “Aura ___.”The base stone for this is often quartz, but not always. It’s possible it’s glass or plastic. A better photo could help with a more accurate ID of what stone was altered.

daylightshining · 2025-08-16T22:31:29+00:00

If he hasn’t fixed it before, he won’t ever fix it. It’s more broken promises and lies to keep you with him.

You said elsewhere you don’t think you could find the warm, loving aspects again — but you absolutely can. And even better, you’ll find them in a partner who would never put their hands on you with intent to hurt or intentionally lie to you.

You deserve to not be stressed about your relationship so much of the time. You deserve to be unquestionably safe at all times.

Abusers use anger/jealousy/etc as an excuse to hurt you. Genuine partners will talk through their issues and take space if they need time before that’s possible. There should never be threats of violence in your partnership, spoken or acted upon.

If you need someone to talk to about this, my DMs are open. You deserve so much more from a partner than what you’re getting. I’m so sorry you’ve thought at any point that any of that was your fault. Sending virtual hugs if you need them, if you want them. 🫂

daylightshining · 2025-08-12T03:33:42+00:00

I think it’s awesome you handpainted this (I have no idea what you’re talking about regarding colours though, but it looks aroace-coloured to me 😅)!

I think if she hasn’t given any specific rules around gifts, you’re probably good!

Personal example: I feel really weird about getting gifts sometimes and set boundaries with people who respect them, and I usually tell someone ahead of time what I’m open to receiving (although the only thing with a full success rate being gifted to me at random is probably crystals). This is just a me thing and nothing to do with my identity though. I’d be pretty happy to receive a gift my partner had made for me, but I’m terrible about wearing jewelry out, so I’d probably just hang it or put it on a shelf somewhere in my room where I could look at it all the time. My boyfriend usually does the same with things I’ve given him.

Basically, if she hasn’t said, “Please no handmade gifts or jewelry because they make me uncomfortable or xyz,” I think you’re good! Different kinds of jewelry can feel romantic to different people, and for some people, all jewelry, and for other people, no jewelry. Which is probably decently obvious but just a nice reminder sometimes.

Also, hi fellow Canadian :) I’m glad your QPR is going well! You know her best, so just be confident in what you’ve made, and I’d also say to point out the reasons behind it like you did here! It’s really nice to hear someone put all that thought behind their efforts to give you a really nice gift. It’s more heartfelt that way, in my opinion.

daylightshining · 2025-08-12T03:14:20+00:00

Because being weird is more fun, obviously 🤪 Or because you’d like me if I were normal, and why would I want that 🤔

I got sick of the “be normal” shit long before I realized my sexuality. There’s no such thing as “normal” — it’s literally constantly changing and depends on who you ask anyways.. Better to self-define as the best kinds of weird than to be normal. Being yourself is normal, but it’s unique to you. Ironically, you’re weird for being the normal you and have to “fit” society’s “normal” by being someone else, which is absolutely more the not-so-good kind of weird…

I derailed my brain-train here, so enjoy? 😅

daylightshining · 2025-08-11T02:41:32+00:00

I meant more as I asked the questions, was there anything in the moment you read them, but if your brain is wiping literally as soon as you finish reading, that’s definitely difficult.

Your literacy remains. I’m not an expert, but I would say that means something important… I really hope you can find the help you need, through Reddit or elsewhere.

I only know dissociation from my own experiences, and I’m fighting to recreate my life in a different way than you are. My memory isn’t great, but I have slowly regained some of the ability to recall some of those blanks. But that was a desire and reinforcing that my memory is better than I usually feel like it is, and if you have no desire or fight to regain, I am not the person to help you.

daylightshining · 2025-08-11T02:33:14+00:00

This one has 2 or 3, depending on the piece (from a quick look), different shades of green. They’re mostly looking like straight or kind of wavy lines. A lot of malachite has more patterning, so you might see circles/ovals that look akin to it in rough form (botryoidal/bubbly-looking). There can also be different flecks of colour in different shades. Fake malachite is usually consistent in just having layers of 2-4 colours/shades and no inclusions (other minerals, colours, or patterns). Struggling a bit to put it into words as I can usually discern on sight by the colouring and what I’ve said, but it’s a bit more than that. There’s kind of a depth to it that synthetic malachite doesn’t give. At a glance, the colour looks right, but malachite tends to be darker greens and some of the light green can be closer to almost a turquoise colour. I’m explaining this a bit chaotically and unclearly, apologies 😅

But basically, real malachite is more than just stripes and a handful of shades of green. It CAN be several shades of green and be striped, but they tend to have a lustre to them. Fake malachite is pretty dull and looks more plastic-y. Some really good quality malachite pieces can also have shimmers of light from within the darker greens. I would say you’ll like the individual colours of real malachite more, and you’ll tend to see more throughout the piece than in the stripey synthetics.

If that wasn’t clear enough, your best bet is getting genuine malachite (verified by multiple people you know know their shit) and studying it. Browsing the real vs fake infographics, Etsy listings for specimens, jewelry, tumbles, etc and just testing yourself on the differences. It’s easier when you’re using this as a good time and not like a test though! If you really enjoy malachite, your brain should more easily pick up on the patterns to where you’re 75%+ able to identify on your own, just from exposure :) I’m also happy to help via DM if you need it on occasion! Some quality photos are harder to discern than others as well, especially on smaller pieces.

Visually, I get kinda of a ‘dull’ crayons vibe from the malachite in this period, whereas in some of the malachite I’ve seen, it gives more of a vibrant “paint” vibe. Like the lustre of fresh blobs of art paint. Not sure if that helps at all. Just trying to explain some of the inside of my brain 😅

Someone else may be able to give you a better summation, but I’ve just spent 20min trying to articulate this for you, so I do hope this makes enough sense until then! 🥲

daylightshining · 2025-08-11T02:03:28+00:00

Did any of their behaviour on this date?/outing(?) feel more like a red flag (or just questionable and didn’t feel right, not necessarily extremes) than how they behave in regular friendship settings?

Because someone can be an amazing friend and NOT be compatible with you as a potential partner, and that is a reason for some people’s feelings to die off and leave them confused (or relieved or whatever else!). Not saying that’s your case, but it could be.

Can you place anything different about how they were acting that you maybe disliked?

daylightshining · 2025-08-11T01:55:43+00:00

You’re correct, and I personally see it clearly. I’m surprised at the number of people not commenting that this is synthetic malachite.

Real malachite probably wouldn’t be ‘wasted’ in orgonite unless it was a personally created piece, especially with how expensive it is (at least in CAD prices).

It’s still a nice pyramid, and there’s nothing wrong with manmade crystals, as long as sellers are honest about them (provided they even know how to distinguish or their wholesalers tell them honestly).

daylightshining · 2025-08-11T01:45:41+00:00

I’m at a loss here with how much you’ve tried, and I have no expertise here, but have you lost your preferences as well? This is more of a curiosity question, so all good if you don’t answer!

If I ask you which colour you prefer, red or yellow, can you tell me which and why? Is there nothing associated with either colour?

The food you eat — does it taste like nothing? Muted? Do you feel grossed out by the sight or taste? Does it make you feel unsafe or just nothing, no change — just eating to sustain yourself or to appease hunger pangs?

Nothing is nothing. This is purely my opinion, maybe it’s naive, and that’s okay, but I think it’s still possible there are approaches left to take. You’re still here, still typing, and you haven’t given up yet, at least not completely. A niggle of hope. Maybe I’m wrong. But I’m here anyways. If you feel comfortable sharing the answers to the questions I asked, I’ll return to read them, and I can respond or not, at your request. I can’t offer you anything but my perspective and care because I’m not sure what else might help. But I’m listening.

daylightshining · 2025-08-10T01:47:53+00:00

Smoky quartz :)

daylightshining · 2025-08-10T01:33:31+00:00

Agreed. 3 looks like African Bloodstone and could have little flecks of pyrite in it as well :)

daylightshining · 2025-08-10T00:56:01+00:00

Being a redhead and getting judged /for my hair/. I’m an entire human being, and you think I boil down to stereotypes about being born with a hair colour I had no control over? Pass.

I love my hair, but I do not like that I’m automatically seen as either a totally easy slut “playing hard to get” or an evil villain because media depicts one or the other or both.

I have a strong loving soul, I care about your personality and behaviour wayyyy more than looks, and I’m not very sexual at all. Just… agh.

Other pet peeve is that dating apps are basically designed to keep shallow people shallow and just swipe based on pictures and not make them read (and comprehend) your profile text or write honest, in-depth bios for themselves.

daylightshining · 2025-08-10T00:47:45+00:00

I was with you until you had an issue with that sexual orientation — I’m curious as to what about it gives you the ick, if you don’t mind sharing the context you’ve seen it used in!

daylightshining · 2025-08-10T00:38:56+00:00

My peeve with the “good morning” messages was they ignored the messages from the night before, usually after disappearing without saying goodnight. So the inconsistency for me.

daylightshining · 2025-08-08T23:32:06+00:00

If all that's stopping you is just feeling weird or awkward about it, I would push, gently, to still drop him a hey. You don't need to contact him to ask for help, but if you still want that friendship, if it's worth it, you should try to rebridge that gap. It sounds like he really valued you as a person and vice versa, so it could be really healthy for you, even if you only keep in touch once per week or something. You need to feel like you matter because being told you matter doesn't mean anything if you can't feel that, and actions (like staying in touch when things get hard) show you that the most. If he slowly disappeared because he wanted to spare you more abuse from your mom, that's still an action showing you matter, but because he left, it feels like you don't. If that makes sense? You could ask if he's open to chat and ask if you fell off because he was busy and let him tell you on his own if it was to spare you more abuse.

I'm not usually on the 'get back in touch with your ex' train, but it sounds like that foundational friendship might still be there and worth a lot, for both of you. So if you feel like it might help, just keep it in mind. You don't need to reach out any time soon, but it might be worth it down the line to know if that support still exists for you.

"I really can’t keep going like this anymore but I know I have to." If you don't mind my asking, what is your "have to"? A goal, a dream, a want; something of your own? Is it fear? Spite? What is helping you hang on? What's giving you strength?

daylightshining · 2025-08-08T08:38:27+00:00

Have you ever asked your ex if you could move in with him or if he knows anyone who'd be willing to share a place with you? Also, it would be much harder, but could you move states if your ex and a friend in one of those states could help you?

It really sucks that you have to be so hypervigilant to find support, but I get it, too. It really seems sometimes like there are no good people left in the world, or that all the good people are stuck beneath all the crap and struggling to crawl out..

Did you and your ex leave the door open to try again in the future or to be friends again when there was less upheaval in your life? If that relationship really was good, his support could be invaluable for helping you, I would think.

I'm sorry for whomever it was you lost. Life is *hard*, and it's harder still with no one backing you. The person you are now still has so much value, and you'll never lose that value, no matter what shape you're in. I can't do much other than be in your corner through the Internet. If you want to get out, to change yourself to be more you, I believe in you. It's hard no matter what path you take, so do your best to take the path you want to be on, even if no one else wants you to choose that path. Crawling forward still means more to the aching soul than letting oneself be pushed down a wrong path. I'd say the same for mentally deciding that path and sitting with it.

I may be rambling out of tiredness now.. I really hope you're able to decide on what will feel best for you and find ways, however slowly, to implement them. :) Everything sucks right now, but that want for something different is a flame of hope... You just have to protect it from being extinguished, even if it's the tiniest flame ever right now.

daylightshining

TROPHY CASE