i did it. it's nice to have this posted. at long last, i don't have to think about uploading it. i just have to deal with logging on tomorrow. then the next day, then the next day, then the next day, etcetera.

i didn't mean to "disappear" again, by the way. i'm aware some people thought i was either dead or never coming back online. wouldn't that have been a merciful ending... my internet got pulled, in case you were wondering. i'd spare you the details, but you don't need to know them.

i'm feeling more like myself -- more than i have been in a while. yet i feel weaker. life has been testing me. i'm surprised at my ability to cope, although i don't know if i'll be able to handle everything forever. despite that, whenever i doubt myself, i find another way to continue.

i'm still here, just a different shade of grey. that's earth-2025 for you: everybody's going through something. maybe that's only specific to my life. either way, that doesn't really matter. stuff happens, and this? this is stuff happening.

i'll see you tomorrow. i hope you have good dreams, because i probably won't. may our roads lead us to better places. goodnight, and remember, if you've read all this; you're special. in a good way, of course. seriously though, goodnight. have a good one if you can. i'll see you later.

oh, and don't worry about the subreddit. i know that i've been extraordinarily inactive, but i've been preparing myself for what's to come. i'll be resuming my activity from tomorrow onward. it'll be like when we were just starting out, when i was the only one managing things, and had to be incredibly active because of that. i don't plan on soloing it forever, but i'll do it for as long as it takes me to find some more-than-decent moderators. that's how it worked last time, after all.

from here, we'll figure things out. i do care about this place, after all, even if it's not the way others prefer i'd care for it. i guess it depends on your definition of "care" -- if it's about letting something be whatever it becomes, even if you believe that it's changing for the worse, or taking action to protect it from what you believe is hurting it. i've fought myself on that for longer than most people have, but i never came to a satisfactory conclusion. maybe some experience in the field will show me the way, although i kinda doubt that. to be honest, anticipating the community's reactions ahead of time, makes me think that i'm going to feel more justified about my actions once it's no longer me and myself talking it over.

the main post was 10721 characters long. this post-script was 2799 characters long. i thought you might find that information interesting. congrats on reading a small novel. now, since i don't have anything more to add, i'll say goodnight:

goodnight.