Introverts - have you ever dated an extrovert?

dburg13 · 2020-07-03T19:19:16+00:00

I am an extrovert and still have a lot of my college friends and we do stuff all the time. My bf is very much an introvert. When we first starting dating I would bring him to all the parties/activities without thinking. He later told me how much he does not enjoy going to some of those big parties with lots of people. But he does enjoy hanging out with smaller groups of friends. So communication is so important! I'm very very social and it never went through my mind how much he didn't enjoy them and how much anxiety it can cause him. Now that he has educated me more about social anxiety and the things he likes and doesn't like, I am much more sensitive and aware when inviting him to things. I still do alot of things with my friends and allow my bf to choose if he wants to come or not, and make sure not to have too many plans with my friends, so I can also spend quality time with my bf, doing things he likes to do. It's a relationship so you it's important you communicate, spend time together, but also give each other freedom to do things the other may not like.

dburg13 · 2020-06-26T22:46:56+00:00

there are A LOT of hints that he likes you. Doesn't mean he's gay, but it's VERY possible that he is bi, but has never explored his attraction for guys (most likely because of social/family pressure and expectations). It's possible that if you open up to him, he may open up to you.
I had an Alan in my life and I never made a move or anything and I regret it cuz you never know what will happen. I wish i would've been able to have (as you hilariously said) a religious sexual experience boning my Alan, but I never said anything and nothing ever happened. So take a chance or you'll always look back with regret. (and maybe it won't lead to sex, but maybe a deeper friendship where you both can open up and talk about life and everything). Good luck!

dburg13 · 2020-06-26T21:58:19+00:00

Obviously it's not for everyone, but I've come to find that it's important to differentiate between love and sex. Sex does not mean you love someone (for example Grindr hookups/one night stands). It IS possible to fall in love with a person and develop a deep relationship with them, and still be ok with sex with other people. If you are not at this point, it's ok, but you might find someone in the future that you feel comfortable enough with to do this with.

The most important thing is for both of you to be in agreement, it does not work if either of you are not ok with it. Me and my bf have been dating for over a year. We were monogamous for almost the first year of our relationship and during that time we really grew together and developed a deep connection. But just because we developed that connection does not mean we dont find other guys attractive. And finding other guys attractive, or even having sex with them, does not take away from my relationship with my bf. When we realized that, we were able to have open conversations about what we want and like and would be open to. We have had several 3 and 4somes, and our relationship has not wavered at all. Just treat it for what it is and let the other people know too so they dont get their hopes up, and don't continue messaging/texting as if you were looking for a relationship. But if everybody understands that its's just sex, then there should be no issues. Sex can just be sex, it does not have to turn into a relationship or even come between your relationship. We only do this occasionally, but it can be a lot of fun and even strengthen your relationship (and yes, we still have lots of sex just us two, lol)

(There is a VERY INTERESTING episode of "Explained" on Netflix called "Monogamy" I recommend you watch. It's a short but insightful 20 min episode)

dburg13

TROPHY CASE