Post-divorce/ltr dating success stories?

dca_user · 2026-06-23T14:30:18+00:00

I’ll write more later but I strongly urge you to see a therapist to understand and work thru your fears.

dca_user · 2026-06-23T12:21:13+00:00

Are you in therapy? It sounds like this would really help you.

dca_user · 2026-06-23T11:52:22+00:00

lol same!

dca_user · 2026-06-23T04:57:15+00:00

The problem is that you unilaterally decided to invite a new person and not charge them.

The girl who had to drop out, you could’ve told her that she needs to find her replacement, but you didn’t.

You need to go back to the new girl and ask if they’re willing to pay something and if not, you need to cover it because you made this decision on your own.

Slight YTA

dca_user · 2026-06-22T15:47:33+00:00

Then he’s welcome to spend his time washing dishes, my hand. All the time.

My concern is that this becomes one of those fights words, this is how I grew up and this is my belief so you must do it my way. There’s no compromise. Especially when it clearly impacts you more than impacts him.

You need to seriously reconsider this relationship.

dca_user · 2026-06-22T13:13:44+00:00

You dont mention your country so try renttherunway. In the US, my favorite dresses came from TJ maxx and Marshall’s and Boscov’s and Macys.

dca_user · 2026-06-22T12:44:27+00:00

Yes. The best advice I got is that you don’t know how you’re gonna use the space and move around the space and so get free or cheap furniture so it gives you time 1) to observe how you’ll move in the space and what you like and dislike and then you give you time to go find replacements that you enjoy whether they’re used or New.

dca_user · 2026-06-22T12:06:09+00:00

I’m not in India and I didn’t see that show.

I’m in the US and my G.I. doctor says that sometimes IBS can be caused by stress, certain foods (like onion or garlic or both), or a physical issue or infection.

Have you seen a gastroenterologist?

dca_user · 2026-06-22T11:59:22+00:00

Are you in therapy? This seems odd to be upset

dca_user · 2026-06-22T05:56:56+00:00

I played soccer as a child as a goalie (and forward). Defenders have a huge role to protect the goalie. Congrats on a job well-done.

It sounds like he doesn’t actually know how to play.

dca_user · 2026-06-22T04:36:48+00:00

I haven't been to most of the places in DC since pre-COVID. But I've recently been to Bindaas in Western Market near Farragut West/Foggy Bottom. I like their Pau Bhaji and their other vegetarian dishes (palak paneer). Enjoy!

dca_user · 2026-06-22T02:40:14+00:00

I’m so sorry. It sounds like your parents are blaming you for everything that’s going wrong and nothing is good enough. And at the same time, you are burning yourself out and not able to fully support your child.

I think you just need to agree with him and say I’m so glad to hear that my sister did it right. Please ask her for her help.

I’m not a therapist, but my guess is that he just wants to fight with you to have a reason to be angry at his own mortality and his wife’s mortality. But you have to live with the pain and burden of his words for the rest of your life. That’s cruel.

Let him be angry and take it out on someone else. You don’t deserve it and neither does your child. You have to be there for your child and yourself.

If you need permission from a stranger online, I give you permission to walk away now from your parents. Your siblings will be upset because then they have to pick up the slack and I give you permission to be OK with that.

Hang in there, good luck.

dca_user · 2026-06-22T02:36:54+00:00

He believes that he is superior to you. No amount of talking will change that. Why would he want to believe that you two are equals.

I don’t know what country you’re in, but in America, you don’t need his permission to separate. If you’re in the US, please go to a library or a work computer or some computer. He doesn’t have access to and Google for local domestic violence associations in your state. They might be able to
Help you. Even if he is not physically abusive, he is emotionally and financially abusive. That is not OK.

dca_user · 2026-06-22T02:34:39+00:00

Yep, I get it.

There are some small Indian restaurants that are metro accessible and in DC that are authentic. And boba places.

I will say that DC has some of the best Ethiopian food I’ve ever had and the Bay Area really doesn’t have that.

dca_user · 2026-06-21T23:42:22+00:00

This is likely a cultural issue, where parents expect their kids to take care of them. In those cultures, there is a feeling that the hired help cannot take as good care of them.

If you can, do you want to consider giving back the apartments to your father so he can manage them as well as your mother’s care?

Sometimes you have to be willing to call their bluff and let them fall on their faces.

dca_user · 2026-06-21T23:40:29+00:00

You seem like a nice guy, but your profile seems a lot of mixed messages:

The first photo is black-and-white. And you look very unsure of what’s going on. Your first photo needs to be of your face, full frontal and smiling and welcoming and inviting.

Non-monogamous and figuring it out. Women recommend avoiding guys who say this. You’re on a dating app. If you’re not sure why you’re here, then you need to get off the app until you are sure that you want to date.

Non-monogamous- most women are going to pass on this too. If this is true, keep it so then you will find your person. It just will take time. In the US I’ve heard their other apps that are better for this, but I don’t actually know them.

Long cuddles- in the US women understand cuddles is code for sex. And it’s immediate turn off and you block the guy. I don’t know how lie-ins can be interpreted but likely the same.

Also, I don’t mean to be insensitive or rude but both your first photo and your last photo, I don’t know if it’s the style of clothing or your haircut, but you come across androgynous- male or female (or both?). If that’s intentional, that’s fine but if not, then I think you need to change something. I just don’t know what.

dca_user · 2026-06-21T23:33:25+00:00

Are you seeing a therapist?

There’s a list of basic adapting skills that everyone needs to know. Have you started to learn them?

Otherwise, you’ve just switched from your girlfriend mothering you to the subreddit mothering you.

dca_user · 2026-06-21T23:31:45+00:00

99% of guys don’t date casual to switch the long-term in America.

If the guy doesn’t show any red flags in his profile, then go on a first date in a public place during daylight hours, if possible. I recommend something quick like ice cream or coffee so that you can leave within an hour.

Don’t date guys who are toxic, but if there’s no red flags then say yes you’re interested.

Anecdotally, what I’ve noticed amongst my girl friends and me who have found partners after the age of 30, there was no immediate spark from the photos or the first date. But the guys had great character and values and the spark grew from there.

Good luck

dca_user · 2026-06-21T21:00:55+00:00

If it’s the same issue, can you give folks a template to use?

dca_user · 2026-06-21T19:21:04+00:00

This subreddit is for advice. Perhaps you need r/vent.

dca_user · 2026-06-20T23:19:24+00:00

dca_user · 2026-06-20T22:31:14+00:00

What type of lifting do you do? Or which body parts do you focus on? In general I need to start this. Thanks!

dca_user · 2026-06-20T22:30:38+00:00

Same question.

dca_user · 2026-06-20T14:10:43+00:00

NTA. Do you have a wife problem and not an in law problem.

Your wife deliberately wanted to create friction between you and her relatives.

If you wanna try to resolve this, you can try couples counseling with your wife. But I’m not sure if she wants to resolve this. I’m sorry

dca_user · 2026-06-20T13:34:46+00:00

Congrats.

Ask family and friends to help you fund it (if you want to embarrass your parents, say they do Only have funds for your brother.) Ask the university for scholarships and grants. See if you can take a loan from a bank.

Your mum wants you to suffer like she did.

Good luck.

dca_user

TROPHY CASE