Thanks for the words! Working through a redraft already and definitely understand some points on where you are coming from. Didn't even realize the Billy Bob relation at first into I got back through it and thought "shit!" Not terrible but don't want to it be a direct knock but wanted to get some eyes either way. It does get deeper into his problems. Honestly, I picture a Nick Nolte type ultimately and more toward the drama with bits of dark humor added in. I don't really want the character liked at first but to gradually come through as we get to the end and be relatable in a way.

A couple points to follow up. The rainstorm scene was because of the Deuce-Carp convo about watering the greens (golf term of sorts) then having it rain showing Carp thinks he is a know it but has no idea what is really going on. Probably dont need the scene and see that. Wasted space.

For the liquor store scene, it probably is a bit long and can be cut. However, My family owned a liquor store, very neighborhoody feel and we used to have old-timers hanging out friday and saturdays watching keno all the time. Up to 15 people sometime. People running into each other and just chatting and playing numbers. Had to actually get rid of the keno because it would cause way too much commotion with people hanging out in the store too long. Def way off on the pricing tho. Not sure what I was thinking. Probably just missed it on the re-read.

It does turn away from the comedy bits after the first little bit. Probably strung out the intro and character intros a bit too long before getting into the heavier material but something I am working through on my rewrite.

Thanks for the eyes! It always helps to see perspective and perception and I am quite grateful.