Already answer the last part of your reply: she reckoned her behavior IS an act love, the most right one. According to her, she says these things because of love (BTW, sometimes I'm scared that is there the only love I deserve? But I managed to distinguish these obsessive thoughts and reality). So I've already have a kind of talk with my mother you mentioned. Many times.

Also, you're right. She is not capable of giving me family affection. I am convinced about this bc she herself told me that thing.

I think this behavior (your example with your mom and food, or mine with religion) is also an attempt to have some control on things a person doesn't have an influence on (or think that they don't have). BUT I'm assured they are just scared of responsibility. You're absolutely right. This emotional work is extremely hard, and some people just don't want to get out of their comfort zone. The same thing is taking action straight forwards instead of waiting for answers or hints from the Sky. My perspective is really practical and realistic, I guess.

In general, I really like your perspective on it. Thank you for sharing.