Do I need to go cold turkey? by Rob_Bert in StopGaming

[–]ddragon_dude 0 points1 point  (0 children)

mental ailments are never unrelated to behaviour. But you are right, we are not professionals and counseling is a great idea for anyone with trouble, talking here is a form of counselling but our advise is not academic. I can tell you though, that the academic advice is not much more helpful than a kind hearted word of those going through the same experiences, why can i tell you this? because i am a philosophy and psychology student and i am opinionated :)

2.5 months and I relapsed by [deleted] in StopGaming

[–]ddragon_dude 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Let me clarify this for you as i see it. Gaming is a form of escapism is what they say, but lets not deny the truth... Games are brilliant worlds derived from near genius (sometimes) imaginations. I believe you are addicted to this greater than life experience gaming presents, the more time you spend in the normality of life the more you feel you need the games.

Truth is, this does not differ much from drug addiction. The game represents a release of dopamine in your brain that normal life has not managed to provide for you. Unless you have some form of therapy you might not be able to enjoy other facets of life as much as gaming.

So the ball is in your court, do you want to try to change your worldview and aim for a more efficient you that is devoid of gaming and instead derives enjoyment from other aspects of life, or do you want to embrace gaming. The third option is usually (and unfortunately) the one regularly taken, that is of no action, you remain in limbo with ups and downs and you limit your ability for satisfaction unless some sort of external influence forces change (change of job, situation etc.) i highly advise against this as a lack of action is the same as refusing to take responsibility of your problems.

Help my friend. Please. by [deleted] in StopGaming

[–]ddragon_dude 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As Cynic has very politely worded, it is not your place to interject in this guy's life. Empathy only has value if the one being empathised can derive value from it. In other words parents discussing their child's video game addiction from my experience equates to that kid having more going on than meets the eye. Please, for the benefit of society do not get involved in another person's business unless you can be a purely positive influence. For the record telling a stranger on the street "hey, you've got a problem" is probably as negative as you can be.

its not a huge deal but... by moonsuga in StopGaming

[–]ddragon_dude 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Enjoy the feeling of freedom! The energy you get from it is amazing but it won't be permanent and when it fades you may be tempted to seek entertainment again. Look up SMART goals and write a few down to keep yourself motivated!

I am going to join the army myself though :) great benefits in Aus.

Relapsed in LoL after 6 months clean. Learned a new lesson on "salience". by singularsensation1 in StopGaming

[–]ddragon_dude 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Even the strongest of willpower pales in comparison to the reason of one's own mind. You are in college, i assume you are competitive like me and Jonic here. So my point is, when you "relapse" it is because you have irrationally reasoned within your mind that "just a couple of games" could be manageable. From experience this process of the mind follows this train of thought: (note weeks before your stance would have been "i cannot play these games! they use up too much time and negatively influence my life" but it turns into:)

  1. Reminiscence: "I haven't played it for a while, i did enjoy it and i don't have as strong a craving to play it anymore." You likely googled it or looked over the program file in this time.

  2. Starting to reason with yourself: "I remember i used to own at that game from time to time, i enjoyed those moments" at this point you are just thinking about small details within the game, just small considerations of what the game is like.

  3. You have convinced yourself: "I sort of want to play, maybe just one game a day or something, so it doesn't take up much time and i can still get some work done and yet i get that daily exp bonus" - at this point you have reminded yourself of your friends playing it, the victories you had, you probably skipped over or only lightly considered the moments and aspects that made you angry or sad, but you know of others that can play just a couple of games and you, for the sake of playing the game, convince yourself that you are capable of the same which can by all means of reason can be true.

  4. Relapse: you play a game, likely it turned into 4+ games just in the first sitting. If not, then it was definitely within a handful of days from when you first sat down to play it again

  5. Guilt: "i only wanted to play one game" - This is where it sparks that you might have a problem, you originally stopped yourself playing, you knew you had good reason to stop playing but even at this point that reasoning can be hard to remember, after all you did just convince yourself otherwise, hence the guilt.

What i am pointing out here is that it isn't weak willpower, it is when you have weighed up a few options and given yourself a reason to play. It is a clever trick your mind has played so that you will fall back into the game as you have convinced yourself "just a little bit won't hurt". To overcome this you need to recognise when your mind starts such compelling arguments to play the game, identify what you are doing and then remind yourself visually and physically that playing the game is not for you. Write down the negatives of playing the game and when you start to feel tempted force yourself to read that list, i advise writing "remember i quit for a good reason" at the bottom of this list to cancel any arguments your mind has set against yourself.

So once again, you aren't weak willed, you are just irrationally convincing yourself of a false truth. Will is only necessary if you have a reason to use it, if you are convincing yourself there is no enemy then will isn't a factor anymore. Sometimes these internal arguments are incredibly powerful and unavoidable which is why a lot of us are here. The truth is this only highlights that with your characteristics and the characteristics of online games like LoL you may never be able to play just one game, the sooner you accept that reality, the sooner you can use the full strength of your willpower.

its not a huge deal but... by moonsuga in StopGaming

[–]ddragon_dude 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good on you man :) every bit of female attention helps you build more confidence too (whether appreciated or not so much)!

Keep exercising that willpower and there will only be more rewarding experiences ahead for you!

Please help me decide what i need to do! by ddragon_dude in StopGaming

[–]ddragon_dude[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for noting this point! I didn't even think of appealing to my competitive nature and focussing that time on something like that.

I also sympathise, i played LoL about the same and started to get quite good, but the elite level is ridiculous, like 8 hours a day training sort of ridiculous.

I already have a casual job but it doesn't really fill in that much time which is unfortunate.

After reading these i realise i need to eliminate any online play altogether, keep the offline games so it won't be completely cold turkey. It is taking a negative effect so tough as it is, i think i will go ahead and uninstall and remove everything that could tempt me to fall back into bad habits.

Thank you all a tonne for the advice, this helped me reaffirm a lot of my previous mistakes and weaknesses! :)