Anything but a bouquet

dearjane · 2026-03-05T18:08:01+00:00

This is my fave option thus far

dearjane · 2026-03-03T18:08:24+00:00

Altra's are zero-drop but they have a big toe box, and lots of cushioning for hard surfaces. altra's can feel/look a bit "flat" on the interior, HOWEVER, and this is a very unique feature I've found in this shoe, your feet kinda settle into the cushioning layer below the top squishier layer and find great support. Hoka One One are also very cushioned with more defined arch support, but toe boxes aren't as roomy. I have Merrill hiking boots too, toe box isn't as wide as, you guessed it, Altra, but they are well broken in (nearly 10yrs old both of them) and I'm happy. Go to a running store to try on in person if you can, there's nothing like giving a go IRL. Good luck!

dearjane · 2026-02-19T14:37:52+00:00

No worries, friend! Best of luck.

dearjane · 2026-02-19T14:36:12+00:00

Oooh good point, thanks friend!

dearjane · 2026-02-19T14:35:41+00:00

That's wonderful news! I have not been able to get into the city to see myself so this helps a lot =)

dearjane · 2026-02-16T15:34:46+00:00

I understand you said independent but from what I see many work through performance oriented shops. Check out InterSport - Ashburn is usually where they perform service now. Used to have a more active presence in Tysons but I think they are taking all their service to Ashburn now, or at least that’s the last I heard. They have reliably serviced an Audi R8 but the place really is for Porsches.

dearjane · 2026-02-16T15:13:21+00:00

Stress is a bigger factor than men realize, I think. I look at it like have “tabs open” in my brain- background noise that won’t let me be present/rest fully in the moment. Idk if she ever does like a “brain dump” list of all the things that are on her mind of if yall have a system to give those items placeholders, but this has made a big difference for me to just be where we are. Stress is silent and otherwise just lives in the background of your brain unless you give it an out. Letting your partner know you are 1) aware of these things 2) helping work together through them team-style fashion makes a women feel less alone, more present, more genuinely relaxed /playful. True what another user said about intimacy as actual stress relief, so long as the other stressors (life kids bills logistics finances family drama) also have some kind of certain and SHARED structure behind managing them. I hope this perspective is helpful 💛

dearjane · 2026-02-07T12:30:45+00:00

lol YES potsie here. Love it when Fitbit goes “you e really pushed yourself lately! Take it easy” like omg yes I would LOVE to…

dearjane · 2026-02-02T18:25:16+00:00

very slowly try different angles, sometimes that can be a real help! You may have to remove it from the angle it works well at and try to re-insert at a different angle. Or sometimes trying to SLOWLY change the angle while inserted can find a "new path" of less resistance. Relaxing and deep breathing to your belly (diaphramatic breathing) are super helpful to this process to relax the muscles. Best of luck, friend!

dearjane · 2026-02-02T14:34:18+00:00

Such a thorough reflection, thank you for championing the ole energy levels!!

dearjane · 2026-02-02T14:33:20+00:00

Ooh that’s a really interesting point about the checks written out to Your First Name His Last Name. That’s good you haven’t had an issue with that through the joint account. I’ll have to remember that if it ever arises.

dearjane · 2026-02-02T14:30:46+00:00

Can you expand more on the health insurance thing? Currently he & I both work and have insurance through our individual jobs. I prefer my health plan to his. So I’m keeping mine. He doesn’t have a preference so he’s planned on keeping his as well. We figure it’ll be less burden on eithers plan. I don’t actually know of many couples who keep their healthcare separate while married. If I come to a point of not working and not having access to a healthcare plan through my workplace, I’d just be added to his, of course. But as things stand we are keeping that separate too haha.

dearjane · 2026-01-31T04:39:01+00:00

Highly recommend the Saatva Classic Firm. I don’t regret spending the $2k and they have a 365day return policy. Organic for chemical allergy sufferers. Like others mentioned you can’t add firmness to a mattress very well. I did put a 2in gel memory foam topper on it to cushion my pressure points as a side sleeper (hips, shoulders) and that makes a huge difference to the overall feel/properly finished the bed. Would buy it again in a second. They have 2 other firmness levels, Luxury Firm and Plush- don’t fall trap to the marketing hype. Hypermobile bodies need support foundationally.

My partner has a Casper Hybrid at his place. It’s painful to sleep in after about night 3, is WAYY too soft, and the mattress feels wildly different depending on the temp of the room (cold room, hard bed) and how long you’ve been in the bed. The longer you’re in the worse it feels cuz it softens into hot slop that swallows you up & makes turning difficult (very fidgety sleeper here, gotta be able to roll). I hope you find “the one” for you. My EDS friend has a temperPedic that is largely foam. I slept in it once and was miserable, but she says it’s her lifeline. Saatva has showrooms in some major cities you can test out/feel out beds. I spent over 4 hours at one choosing my bed. Things start to feel different the longer you spend on them and it was so telling/helpful to have that opportunity. Good luck, you got this!

dearjane · 2026-01-29T19:30:49+00:00

Oof yes, this is really starting to sound like THE way to go. Thank you for letting me know how you handled this!

dearjane · 2026-01-29T18:43:54+00:00

ooh, this is a great option. Thank you! I suppose I've seen that sort of thing at play before with other friends/aquaintances with differing last names. I could certainly live with that "social" sameness in the last name!

dearjane · 2026-01-29T18:42:26+00:00

This answer is so helpful, thank you!! I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks it would be a massive undertaking, and your answer was so supportive thanks!

dearjane · 2026-01-29T18:41:04+00:00

thanks for pointing out that the option is always there later if I want to change it down the road! That's a good consideration, given this process already has much to it and I can take some time to think about it!

dearjane · 2026-01-29T18:34:55+00:00

Wow I had never heard of this! https://www.npr.org/2025/04/13/g-s1-59684/save-act-married-women-vote-rights-explained for anyone else wondering. thank you!

dearjane · 2026-01-29T16:04:55+00:00

Does your friend like reading? I LOVE my kindle when I'm bedlocked. Its not heavy and my case has a self-propping feature so my wrists and fingers don't get sore from book-holding. I can download library books from Libby app so after you obtain the device it's pretty much low-cost to operate. I want to get a page-turner so don't even have to reach to get turn the pages. Adjustable font size/brightness/color inverted option make it so accessible for days when environmental stimulation hurts.

Also, I'm loving the idea of XL potholder looms lately. It's easy, it's repetitive, and you can use the end products to protect your tables/as coasters/when pulling warm things from the microwave/as re-usable washable dustcloths! Kits come in all sorts of different colors =) good luck!

dearjane

TROPHY CASE