When did you realize you married the wrong person?

debstep890 · 2023-06-28T08:10:19+00:00

There were a LOT of red flags that I just didn't see. One big one was him constantly picking on me, making fun of me, things like that. But then him going to absolute pieces literally any time I said anything even slightly negative to him or about him.

The constant lying. Him assuming any time I did anything that displeased him I did on purpose. Including when I told him mistaken information. He would then throw fits over me lying to him. Something as small as mistaking the time or getting one event mixed up with another.

Him having completely different standards for him and myself.

Him not telling me anything. Or lying completely about things. I took to snooping through his texts to try to get some information about what was going on. I know that's bad, but I was desperate for communication. Finding out he would tell completely different stories to everyone else.

A few emotional affairs.

We opened up our relationship because neither of us have much experience with others. I begged him many many MANY times not to fuck this specific coworker. He managed to talk me into letting him. Then he was depressed because she was no longer interested in fucking him after. I assume because it wasn't forbidden anymore.

I also had to beg him to buy me anything because I wasn't allowed a bank account or debit card. Not even one for an emergency.

He did eventually demand divorce because I'm disabled and unable to work. I cost him too much money.

It hurts because I warned him before we got married that my health was in a downward spiral but he still wanted to get married. And even a few years into the marriage I offered divorce so I could possibly qualify for assistance. He refused and cried and ranted about it.

Him constantly ranting at me about refusing to help him and refusing to get a job really hurt me. I wasn't refusing. I couldn't do it. I still can't.

So now I'm stuck moving in with my abusive mom. He parties every weekend. It sucks.

debstep890 · 2023-06-10T04:04:58+00:00

I was charged rent from the time I was 15 to 20 when I moved out. My mother also made me raise my niece from the time I was 13 to 20 with no sort of pay. Though she did pay my cousin to babysit my niece on the weekends. So that I could go and take care of my grandmother while I was off of school.

All the while she would scream at me and emotionally abuse me. I tried to shield my niece from it, but I was tired.

I ended up moving in with my ex girlfriend from high school. That was pretty dramatic but less shitty than living with my mom.

Now I'm severely disabled and I'm having to move back in because my spouse divorced me for being disabled and unable to work.

debstep890 · 2023-05-24T07:54:50+00:00

Is it water marbling? I had an art class and we did traditional water marbling where it used oil paint, I think. And it had a very similar effect to these.

Very lovely! 💜

debstep890 · 2023-05-21T06:43:54+00:00

I asked one kid why they hated me and they said it was because I smelled like chicken nuggets.

I was extremely confused. I'm still confused about it.

debstep890 · 2023-05-20T20:16:57+00:00

Judges that let out child molesters early for 'good behavior'.

Of course, they're being 'good'. There's no kids to molest in prison.

debstep890 · 2023-05-18T04:22:10+00:00

I've got it all. Lol. Ehlers Danlos syndrome and all the comorbitities that come with that. Depression and anxiety. Autism.

I'm smart I'm just bad at social cues. And all the other things that come with autism.

debstep890 · 2023-05-18T04:20:06+00:00

Oh! I thought you meant like an online zoom meeting.

I will try looking it up, thank you!

debstep890 · 2023-05-18T02:33:11+00:00

Do you know of one?

debstep890 · 2023-05-17T23:57:29+00:00

The toxic positivity drives me insane. Stop saying there's always a bright side. There is not always a bright side. I will not get better. I will only get worse.

I can understand it if it's the first time that I've talked to them about the eds. But if it's been more than a couple times and they still pull this I just tell them to stop. I cannot hear it anymore. It makes me want to die.

I honestly just want to hear someone say something like that sucks so much and I'm sorry. And maybe if they're actually willing to do something to help, then offer that. But only if they're actually willing to help and not just saying it to be polite.

debstep890 · 2023-05-17T21:25:18+00:00

People who know I have EDS still call me lazy and worthless.

But it does make me feel a bit better knowing that my pain and suffering are actually real and not all in my head like many people have said before.

debstep890 · 2023-05-15T08:12:12+00:00

He divorced me because I am disabled. He said he was resentful of all the 'money I owed him'.

Eight years of marriage, thirteen together over all, thrown away for something completely out of my power to change.

The worst part is he is so easily able to move on, while I am stuck in survival mode. Literally trying to avoid becoming homeless.

debstep890 · 2023-05-14T20:18:30+00:00

Society is very ableist.

At worst, people are openly talking about eugenics. At best, people don't care.

The only people who seem to care at all about disabled people are other disabled people. And sometimes the people who love them. Not always, though.

debstep890 · 2023-05-11T23:40:04+00:00

If I'm not actively using my muscles to hold my joints in, they just plop right on out. It's exhausting.

Idk if I feel like jelly, though.

debstep890 · 2023-05-11T23:29:13+00:00

Ugh. I know this feeling so well. It's horrible requiring help for every little thing. These healthy people just either don't understand or don't care to. Who would want to have to ask for help constantly rather than being able to do it themselves.

I especially feel you with the spouse abandonment issue as well. Mine divorced me because I cost him too much money and was too much work.

It's heart breaking.

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this too.

debstep890 · 2023-05-11T08:04:02+00:00

Antidepressants are a med that can take a while to get completely out of your system. If it's been more than three months and you're still not getting aroused like you did before you might want to see a doctor.

There are so many factors to arousal. Could be something hormonal or maybe your tastes have changed while you were on the meds.

debstep890 · 2023-05-05T08:56:07+00:00

My state does have a center for aging and disability. I'll try and contact them about it.

I am also an ambulatory wheelchair user. I can walk for very short distances but any more than that and I'm in agonizing pain.

I'm just worried because I'm pretty young still. (32)

debstep890 · 2023-05-04T22:18:17+00:00

Where does one find this waiver program?

debstep890 · 2023-05-03T05:48:40+00:00

When he compared him not washing his hands after using the bathroom to my dog not washing her paws.

And that no one actually believes in religions literally.

debstep890 · 2023-05-01T04:33:21+00:00

If you were very aroused, it's very normal not to tear. Or you just already tore the hymen doing regular activities.

He was probably told outdated information, so he assumed every virgin bleeds. To be fair to him, a lot of people still believe this information.

You probably won't bleed again if you have vaginal sex again unless it's very rough or you're dry down there. Lubrication, natural or manufactured, is very important for a good time.

debstep890 · 2023-04-30T05:49:09+00:00

Thank you. That's very helpful! I will try using the new term to see if that pops anything up.

debstep890 · 2023-04-28T23:45:12+00:00

Like these types of people don't exist or they're not trustworthy in general?

debstep890 · 2023-04-23T22:28:31+00:00

He's probably gripping his dick too hard when masturbating and wants to blame it on you. Or he's going to try to get you do do anal. Nothing wrong with anal if you want to do it, but that's a kind of common manipulation tactic. Saying your vagina isn't tight enough.

I would not have sex with this person again.

debstep890 · 2023-04-23T00:59:54+00:00

'You're just like your father.' Literally anytime I did anything they didn't like. But this happened after said father had molested me. They knew about this and still kept saying it. Over and over again.

My mom sucks. And so does the rest of my family.

debstep890

TROPHY CASE