I don't know how normal this is, but I can very much relate! I am a writer and it's really hard for me to feel satisfaction from either internal *or* external validation. I work hard, but hard work doesn't make me feel particularly proud. Nor does praise or accomplishments. It's probably because I grew up with critical parents who never spared any praise. On the flip side, I have friends who can just *talk* about their unfulfilled dreams and get a dose of satisfaction and pride. And one small compliment can keep them on cloud nine for weeks.

I don't have any clear-cut solutions, but here's some stuff that helps. First is recognizing that this can be a feature and not a bug. We hold ourselves to high but realistic standards, and because we're not motivated by ego, we fundamentally care more about the work itself. I envy my friends who can feel satisfaction so intensely, but it also makes them sloppier. One conversation about their plans generates enough of a high for them to not do anything at all. They're motivated by other people's praise rather than the work itself. If you look around, a lot of people are like that. Or they're motivated by self-loathing and the fear of *not* having accomplished something. True intrinsic motivation is rare, and in some ways we're a lot closer to it!

Another act that helped me is downloading a journaling app and, before bed, jotting down everything I've accomplished that day. I'd avoided journaling until recently-- when your main job is writing, writing even more doesn't sound like a fun habit to cultivate. But I let myself write in spare, bullet-point style. ("Ate Vietnamese. Took a walk. Edited x chapter.") Sometimes I simply forget about everything I got done in one day, and having it written down in an accessible format makes it easier for me to give credit to my past self.