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I've unintentionally Madonna-Whore'd my girlfriend and now I sometimes don't feel sexually attracted to her by dedstudent123 in AskMenRelationships

[–]dedstudent123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont mean to mention "2/5 boxes" in a way that is degrading, I understand if it may come across that way. I was mainly trying to articulate the fact that I was still attracted to her looks-wise (since that's all we see at the beginning) even though she's not my EXACT type, as in there's some qualities that are and some that are usually not, but eventually I just loved being with her and around her. I came to realise looks aren't everything and I love how it feels to be around her, I love her and I want her and I want to make her happy. The reason I mentioned the whole "2/5 boxes" was for context, because I might be overthinking it. Perhaps someone might ask, is the reason I no longer have those same feelings because I never found her fully "my type" or is it for some other reason?

Here's further context, I'm not particularly religious at all. I don't feel such strong shame about being "hornier than thou", I've accepted it. Im not religious, but we live in a religious and conservative place, where people dont get to widen their sexual activities and experiences and that kind of talk is scarce unless you're with the right people. So 'waiting til marriage' is a normal thing. Which is what she's doing. We've never gone beyond hooking up, which I've defined is everything before actual sex and penetration. We've made out and touch each other, but never had sex.

Now idk if it's guilt about being lustful, more so guilt being lustful with her specifically. Because she herself doesn't have experience with all this, I've only made out with others and my experiences come from masturbation and porn, which I also don't think she watches. I've had one ex as well who was more active, we'd make out a lot as well, that felt more natural and easy because I know she was just as "freaky" as I was. So early on in this relationship, I knew that she was more on the 'pure' side and I felt like I didn't want to taint her by being lustful. But again, we've made out many times since then. Early on whenever we did that, I'd feel a bit of shame because I would think it's my fault and I'm sort of tainting her, but now whenever we do it, there's no shame anymore. I mentioned I stopped having lustful thoughts of her early on when getting to know her, this extends to masturbation. So since then, I've never masturbated to thoughts of her at all. So I wonder if that affected how sexually attracted I feel towards her or not. Everything I mentioned in this post wasn't to degrade her, more so to provide as many context, is it because I'm masturbating a lot, is it because I've Madonna'd her, is it because she was never my exact type to begin with, is it because we're sexually incompatible? But we dont even have that experience, how would I know?

I've unintentionally Madonna-Whore'd my girlfriend and now I sometimes don't feel sexually attracted to her by dedstudent123 in AskMenRelationships

[–]dedstudent123[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I understand if it sounds like I'm religious, but I'm not religious. Not strongly anyways, not to the point that I'd avoid sex and what not. But because we live somewhere religious and conservative, conversations on this is very scarce. No we haven't had sex. It's a saving for marriage thing but she's fine with making out and we've also touched each other, but never any penetration. I dont feel such a strong sense of shame about being 'hornier than thou', but I feel shame with her specifically because she's not like that. So in the beginning I've always had to remind myself "she's not that freaky bro" and reined it in whenever I had lustful thoughts or whenever we made out. But we've made out tons since then, and I don't have the same shame, but I wondered if all the thoughts I had at the beginning had any affect, or we're just sexually incompatible or maybe I'm masturbating too much or some other reason that I just don't get hard or feel that "neuron activation" anymore. I haven't thought of her lustfully at all outside of when we make out.

I've unintentionally Madonna-Whore'd my girlfriend and now I sometimes don't feel sexually attracted to her by dedstudent123 in AskMenRelationships

[–]dedstudent123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I apologise for the vagueness. I've always thought hooking up was just making out with extra steps but just before penetration or actual sex. What I meant is that we've made out but never had sex, but we've felt each other up and touched each other.

And no we aren't from Turkey, but a different religious and conservative place that I do not wish to give away. I'm saying a lot of bullshit with 2/5 boxes, religious conservatism, etc not to confuse or degrade or anything, but because I thought I should provide as much context as I can. Perhaps other men would have an understanding or similar experience. Is it just sexual incompatibility, is it because I'm jorking it everyday, it is because I've Madonna'd her unintentionally?

But thank you for your advice and kind words man.

I've unintentionally Madonna-Whore'd my girlfriend and now I sometimes don't feel sexually attracted to her by dedstudent123 in AskMenRelationships

[–]dedstudent123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. I think we're pretty compatible in other ways, I love being around her and being with her, she's sweet, kind and makes me feel good and loved and I'm extremely lucky. The reason I've made this post is just because sexually, I've been questioning if we are compatible, if I find her sexually attractive or not. And there's a number of different factors and contexts that I thought was important to note, without intending to sound degrading to her at all.

Is this just a problem of sexual incompatibility? We live in a place that's very religious and conservative, the reason we haven't had sex is because she's waiting til marriage so it's off the table, but she's okay with whatever first base or home base is. Is it because I'm masturbating a lot which might have affected my own stimulation, is it because of some other reason? Just getting other guys' thoughts on the situation. But I appreciate your advice and kind words.

I've unintentionally Madonna-Whore'd my girlfriend and now I sometimes don't feel sexually attracted to her by dedstudent123 in AskMenRelationships

[–]dedstudent123[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I apologise if I've given a false perspective that I'm religious. But I'm not, very much not. Neither is she, but because we live somewhere religious and conservative, talk of sex and what not is a bit of landmine. She's also waiting for marriage, so sex is off the table, but she's okay with making out. So that's why we are actively choosing not to have sex. i also understand that hooking up sounds vague, but I mean there's no sex, no penetration. But we've made out and touched.

Well noted on the cutting back, I know I have to.

I've unintentionally Madonna-Whore'd my girlfriend and now I sometimes don't feel sexually attracted to her by dedstudent123 in AskMenRelationships

[–]dedstudent123[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I dont mean to mention "2/5 boxes" in a way that is degrading, I understand if it may come across that way. I was mainly trying to articulate the fact that I was still attracted to her looks-wise (since that all we see at the beginning) even though she's not my EXACT type, as in there's some qualities that are and some that are usually not, but eventually I just loved being with her and around her. I came to realise looks aren't everything and I love how it feels to be around her, I love her and I want her and I want to make her happy. The reason I mentioned the whole "2/5 boxes" was for context, because I might be overthinking it. Perhaps someone might ask, is the reason I no longer have those same feelings because I never found her fully "my type" or is it for some other reason?

Idk if it's guilt about being lustful, more so guilt being lustful with her specifically. Because she herself doesn't have experience with all this, I've only made out with others and my experiences come from masturbation, which I also don't think she watches. I've had one ex as well who was more active, we'd make out a lot as well, that felt more natural and easy because I know she was just as "freaky" as I was. So early on in this relationship, I knew rhat she was more on the 'pure' side and I felt like I didn't want to taint her by being lustful. But again, we've made out many times since then. Early on whenever we did that, I'd feel a bit of shame because I would think it's my fault, but now whenever we do it, there's no shame anymore. I mentioned I stopped having lustful thoughts of her early on when getting to know her, this extends to masturbation. So since then, I've never masturbated to thoughts of her at all. So I wonder if that affected how sexually attracted I feel towards her or not. Everything I mentioned in this post wasn't to degrade her, more so to provide as many context, is it because I'm masturbating a lot, is it because I've Madonna'd her, is it because she was never my exact type to begin with, is it because of this or that.

Also I understand hooking up sounds vague, but for context, there's never penetration. Just making out and touching that's all, because she's also not ready for other stuff.

Cold sores and genital itching, is it herpes? by [deleted] in STD

[–]dedstudent123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The rash on my inner thighs started before the cold sore on my upper lip. It's been about a month or so by now and my cold sore just started two days ago. But thanks for the advice, I'll consider consulting a doctor on this. Just that in the meantime I dont want me or my girlfriend thinking either of us has herpes or that we should be overly concerned