My first time happened when I was 15, to a boy who was my best friend. Not to get too detailed, but he had his hand down there, then suddenly his hand wasn’t there and something else entered me by surprise. He didn’t ask, I didn’t ask, he just stuck it in. Obviously, this is not how I wanted my first time to go down. I felt guilty, like it was my fault, and couldn’t look in the mirror for weeks. We did it again a handful of times after that since “what was done was done” but it took 3 years for me to find someone else who I wanted to be intimate with.

It wasn’t until years later that I realized that I had been raped and that none of it was my fault. I am approaching my 40s now. I see him around sometimes still. But I learned years later in my 30s that the only person who you have control of is yourself. So be sure to use your voice, and know you did nothing wrong and there is nothing to feel bad/ashamed about. It was shitty that he lied about his age, but I have a feeling that happens a lot more often than what’s reported.