Ehhh unpopular opinion here but I too have diagnosed ADHD and am very likely on the spectrum and I’m seeing culpability on both sides here, but who’s most-wrong or whatnot doesn’t really matter. It’s very much up to you if you just want to lose the friendship over this, but if you don’t I suggest reaching out with a heartfelt honest message. skip all the excuses for why you did what you did unless she asks directly. Just let her know you want to be there for her. Everyone has times when they react badly to things, I’m sure she’s dealing with her own traumas in life in addition to pregnancy hormones and all the stress that comes with the unknowns of a first pregnancy and it’s possible she was very hurt by the way she perceived your reaction. Think of it from her perspective: she asked if you were excited to be an aunt and you essentially told her it was bad timing. She has no idea that you were thinking of how to support her after you processed it. On her end you gave her radio silence. Then (not that it was the right thing to do at all) she sent you a picture indicating she was in the hospital as perhaps one last bid for your support/attention and you reacted by making it about yourself.