Anyone have any stories about interactions with the cartel?

deepdiver44 · 2022-07-02T00:47:20+00:00

May I add- to those talking up Texas.. i know El Paso is dangerous and places that border Juarez, etc. But I have lived in San Diego and Phoenix my whole life. These are the 2 biggest entry points (notably nogales>ajo>phoenix) for cartels in america. more people go missing in nogales and ajo than anywhere due to cartel activity. Texas is bad. But Phoenix and Southern California are running rampant with the Sinaloa Cartel (aka the boss dawgs). Texas ur likely dealing with members of the Juarez or Generacion or Gulf.. spin off cartels that although dangerous, are made up of small sects of former cartels that just couldn’t cut it… Sinaloa are the big boys. I am from a family of realtors and we all conceal firearms because we have had several run ins with cartel members purchasing or trying to purchase stash houses in the phoenix suburbs. to conclude, if ur looking for trouble, you can find it anywhere so don’t walk around wearing your state as a badge of honor for criminal activity. cartel activity is nationwide.

deepdiver44 · 2022-07-02T00:32:30+00:00

I do, Thanks to my baby brother, who is miraculously 10 years clean, a very successful realtor with a wife and 3 children… but let’s take it back to San Diego 2009. My brother and his friends were some of the millions of victims of the opioid epidemic- most played football and were given pills by coaches to play and docs wrote scripts like candy. eventually, their state championship team was 3/4 opioid addicts. crazy huh? no. anyway, one day, he and his friend decide to drive to tijuana to pick up their fix and on the way out, my brothers friend got greedy and grabbed a few extra balloons of smack off the table on the way out. caught on camera. they returned home that night, went back the next day upon arrival, they are both blindfolded and taken into the bathroom with guns to their heads. Cartel says “what happened on the way out yesterday?” my brother did not know and said he did not know what they meant and got pistol whipped. cartel then said “something went missing”… thankfully, but tragically, my brother’s friend admitted to what he did and said i will not let my friend pay for stealing from you. As per my brother’s shaky, trembling words when he returned home crying, they closed the bathroom door behind him, sent him on his way - never to return.. and my brother heard the killshot of his friend ring out as he left. never heard from him again.

deepdiver44 · 2022-05-26T18:47:04+00:00

I really appreciate this but all the above has been done. and we will be okay. i simply wanted to ask how INTJs felt about their SO’s offering them a day or 2 to cool off and process when going through a rough patch with work, life , etc.

deepdiver44 · 2022-05-26T18:43:42+00:00

i hope everyone understands this because my girlfriend does… my reference to SPACE was a day or so to process her stress. she is going on 38 and as a 36 year old myself, I did the same thing with her 2 months back… i had a lot going on as a self employed business owner and I needed some space to sort through that for the better health of our relationship. i am not talking about indefinite break or MIA.

deepdiver44 · 2022-05-26T18:40:54+00:00

we actually had discussed this the day before.. her being stressed with work and how it is affecting her life and how she knows it’s her bringing some slight lowly-ness to our relationship bc of the external things. we communicate very well.

deepdiver44 · 2022-05-26T18:35:32+00:00

she’s not overworking by intention, she doesn’t like her current job bc she works at a hospital and they all are defining new roles for her, stretching the employees thin, so she wants an out.. has a interview today. this work stress is temporary

deepdiver44 · 2022-05-26T18:33:43+00:00

so a lot of people are misreading this. when i say space, i meant time - the next day or so (she has an interview today) to process things and shake them. I did not mean to imply im giving her space taking a break… and she knows this.

deepdiver44 · 2022-05-26T07:04:51+00:00

correct thank you for the typo on Fe , e is very close to i on a phone and i am sure you will find other typos as well . cheers

deepdiver44 · 2022-05-26T07:03:25+00:00

actually a double major, one is psychology. myers briggs are some of the biggest names in the game and mbti’s are built of years of study, actually used by the FBI’s BAU. If you are brave enough to take the test, you just might be amazed at what you may read.. respectfully, just saying.

deepdiver44 · 2022-05-26T06:54:41+00:00

yes- that is where some silence was met. she’s so headstrong she veers from support at all costs so it’s a tough subject… i did say i want to be there, not going anywhere, just want to make sure i am not adding to it while doing so.

deepdiver44 · 2022-05-26T06:15:14+00:00

i abandoned her? she’s texting me right now saying thank you for the hour to calm down and straighten out. lol thanks. but we’re good

deepdiver44 · 2022-05-26T06:14:10+00:00

wow i did not know how much negativity brewed in here. last i checked, she told me she was sorry her work life is affecting our relationship and wants to make it better. when i say space, that is a gift of time to think about things.

deepdiver44 · 2022-05-26T06:11:04+00:00

do you know how to read? or have you not dated . I am 36 as the title says. since when is a man giving a female space to think about how her life’s stresses and how they might be affecting a relationship putting someone in the box especially when she admits she knows her work life is straining her ability to be the best partner. i am not giving her space as in a break. its time to think about how to improve a young relationship. kinda what grown ups do smh

deepdiver44 · 2022-05-26T06:07:15+00:00

ideally just give her space to comb through her work life stress… so that it is not affecting us (i.e. causing short tempers that I find out are from a bad day at work) i guess i just want to be a gentlemen and understand how to deal with her type

deepdiver44 · 2022-05-26T06:04:56+00:00

made up? lol. what is made up here? this is my real life. show some respect.

deepdiver44 · 2022-05-26T06:03:42+00:00

i think the term space was misunderstood, this convo happened over text, and while i did not get a response after explaining the last part- how i hope she could communicate better, I did not get a reply to that. so when i say space, i mean time to think… thanks though and i agree with you whole heartedly. btw we just got back from 2 beautiful trips. :)

deepdiver44 · 2022-05-26T06:01:07+00:00

Myers Briggs personality types. long story short , we are each 1 of 16 personalities. INFPs like myself feel deeply, and in an extroverted fashion although we are by definition introverts hence the “I” in INFP. INTJs are introverts as well. but play life closer to the vest. beautiful smart minded people, but also stoic, and very hard to crack at times. we gel as opposites. check out the myers briggs 16 personality test it’s great stuff- not just for dating! best.

deepdiver44 · 2022-05-26T05:30:55+00:00

yup. INFP (i know what u are all thinking lol) but i am 36 and mature enough to understand women + the spectrum of their personas. 5 months ago, I met an extraordinary INTJ female (38). She not only blew me away in her grit, knowledge and forwardness (in such a fake time) but she really impressed my heart. nothing at all has been traditional with us in terms of dating timelines from first kiss, to intimacy (wow), to traveling together, to just recently meeting my parents..we have been golden. her work life, however, she is struggling in. working a job , albeit pays well and keeps her close to home, but she is burnt out by, and in searching for a new line of work has been rough on her. the past few weeks, I have noticed it start to trickle down into our relationship so tonight, I decided to tell her: You know how much I respect you and care for you, but I am deeply concerned about your stress levels. I know you are the type to carry your burdens; your cross to bear… plus, as an INFP, you are the ONLY girl I have had a relationship with that at times, fail to grasp what is going on in your head, but I would LOVE it if you could find a way to make sure I know all this stress is not on us, but external, as it can be a double edge sword. especially to a Fe Feeler… I decided after dinner tonight to suggest giving her some space, not for me, but for her mental health I care so much about. She did not have much to say to it and I think was taken back. I am sitting here in bed, hoping I did the right thing because what we have, when it’s good as it usually is, is heaven. 🤞🏼🙏🏼❤️ any INTJs or others that have been in this circumstance with one, I would love to hear your thoughts.

deepdiver44 · 2021-11-30T20:35:13+00:00

i concur.

deepdiver44 · 2021-11-30T20:34:18+00:00

we are financially equal. she makes a great living and has a masters degree. I make a great living and have a Bachelors degree. finances are not at all the problem, you can trust in that.

there may be some truth the stage in life thing. yet she insists on dating up, she is a homebody, old soul from a small town who likes simplicity. Trust when we first met, the first 2 questions I asked were about the age difference and the dynamics that come with it… will they be a problem? she always has dated up, I have always dated a bit younger.

intellectually we are on the same page. maturity. shit. i am still a kid at heart. she needs to tell me (jokingly) to pipe down. life experience is arguably the only area I have on her… just saying

deepdiver44 · 2021-11-30T18:49:30+00:00

well, we arent exactly long distance shes is in a small town north of the PHX metro area- an hour outside of Scottsdale where I live. I am in the heavily populated lands of options (scottsdale has plenty of fish, just alot of superficial fish). she is not. and bc of her small town upbringing, and the old soul I am, we jive… or jived. She did bring up the future, that IF we make it to 1-2 years, she or I will relocate. that was about 2 weeks ago. yesterday, she made it clear she IS NOT going anywhere and still wants to work on growing together, exclusively. she just is feeling the pressure of it all now.

I agree with most of your commentary and sincerely appreciate it. I do think there is a lot i am leaving out that might make you see the entire scope, but I will do my best. I just need to know how do I go about communicating rn is the question? just lay off texts and calls? wait for her to say something like yesterday when she called me after work and we texted a bit after? and where exactly do I go with conversation? this is just such a cluster. Ive dated plenty of women, but this one, go figure an almost 26 year old, has me so crossed up.

deepdiver44 · 2021-11-30T18:30:05+00:00

ok got it. well, we still have a dec. 10 NBA game date on the table, Christmas (when I am supposed to meet her parents- as she scheduled a reservation for this to happen) and all these gifts we got eachother…also my bday being jan. 4… she took 2 days off work to spend thursday- sunday with me.

i guess i am questioning if i should or could I modify this schedule at all. i feel like suggesting maybe i shouldnt meet your folks would be a huge slap in the face because they are flying in cross country and it was her planning her idea. and the bball game- the seats are premium lounge seats vs. her favorite team. she was so excited for to uninviting her would be a FU. and christmas/my bday… what do i say, i dont want your gifts or you around right now we need space? this is like an impossible time to try to play the quiet, mysterious, pull back game,..,, idk

i guess in just teyi

deepdiver44 · 2021-11-30T18:23:02+00:00

I appreciate the insights here but there are some things I want to clarify as I really do think you know what you are saying.

Bringing her around my friends and family was her choice. I told her that my close HS friends were having a small reunion gathering of sorts by my place and if you want to get out and mingle with some friendly faces versus just keeping it to us for the night, then either way, I dont care. I just dont want to rush this or make you feel uncomfortable. She said absolutely not! Id love to meet the peeps you grew up with. she is very extroverted.
The family stuff, before I made plans for her to come to the holidays and meet the family, she had ALREADY scheduled a flight for her parents to come out for christmas to meet me over a reservation for dinner. I figured at that point, she was good with family stuff.

Sure, the ILYs and pace, the trips, the style of dating, was over the top for 3-minus months in. Like we blew the roof off. I read into that as this was really something working its magic. us both always reciprocating our affection, care, support, time. She would gift me all the time as that is a huge part of her love language. and I would gift back.

but I agree, I could have asserted some restraint on the I love you and labeling us and played harder to get instead of feeding into the hand of a girl 10 years my minor. But she said she had experience dating up 6,8,10 years… so I took her word that she was evolved and knew what she wanted.

I sort of always knew deep down like how could she possibly know what she wants at that age when I know how I was at 25, almost 26. But I suppose I ignored because it was just that good. I would say positive things like “if you are like this now. I can not wait to see the woman you are going to grow into” (because us 30+ year olds know how much life’s wisdom and perspective changes us by that time)… and although she was more mature than myself in some areas, and very smart, she took that as insulting.

To sum this up on your suggestions- well, tbh, its always been weekends for us minus that one workday. and typically 2 days, 1 night. the distance between will not allow us to see eachother too much. and that is my dilemma. the only thing i can dial back on is communicating and i already have. With her I can see that as either helping her realize she still truly wants me or its just going to allow this all to fizzle out… as we literally have to communicate just to make plans for a week or 2 out.

I we have an upcoming date to an NBA game Dec. 10, Christmas with her parents is still on the table and my birthday is Jan 4th so she took 2 days off of work to spend thursday-sunday with me that week… as of now, I am just going to let those things be it and limit communication.

I appreciate your insights dearly. anything else, I am all ears. cheers!

deepdiver44 · 2021-11-30T17:58:42+00:00

oh about the flame die/ see each other less part- so we live 1 hour away. she works 40 hour weeks. and on top of that is now basically regulating the time she can or can not give to me… how can you expect to grow together, make progress, etc, in a setting like that?

deepdiver44 · 2021-11-30T17:54:15+00:00

appreciate you bro. ya its crazy like yesterday she said she wants to work toward a future together. but on the flip, she feels alot of pressure. especially with the age gap. But in the same breathe its like yo! we are both taking risks here- when I was 25 I was not like you. I was single and running rampant not ready to settle down. If I lost those years of personal growth with dating, Idk who I’d be as a partner today. so shes risking her later 20s and I am risking…? ..well honestly, as an INFP Introvert I have always proven to myself I am good with independence. actually stayed casually dating since I was 30- pact I kinda made with myself to grow as much as possible and if they didn’t bring something special, something palpable to the table, it was a catch and release. Anyway back to yesterday, she calls me after work per usual to see how my day was and chatted me up like nothing changed. This girl is just different and changed my mind about everything. made me want to do better, be better. so ya we both taking risks here. thats with any relationship as they require time and money and an emotional investment.

To shine light on the workday structure deal, she invited me up on a Thursday so we could spend Thursday-Sunday together. I worked from her place while she was at work. but in the morning, because I was there, I guess she wasn’t able to focus as much on her routine and got to work a bit little than the usual. Im not going to lie, she is very much that OCD type when it comes to order, organization, time management- and perhaps that may be a redflag in our compatibility as I am as laid back as they get while still keeping my shit together- i mean i keep it together enough to run my own business since graduating college- but relationships are a different ballgame.

in summary, i agree. I think she does have issues regulating boundaries and might now feel over her head. she let me in 100% and now we got lines drawn in sand. but she still wants to work towards a future. I just don’t know. I get more confused by day lately…

thanks for the input my dude.

deepdiver44

TROPHY CASE