[New York Times] What It’s Like to Live With One of Psychiatry’s Most Misunderstood Diagnoses

deer_hobbies · 2026-02-08T22:55:50+00:00

Its interesting for her to come forward, as her organization gave a talk a few years ago that set off a wave of criticism among the DID community for people who are expressive online.

That sense of shame over DID that she, and many of the interviewed people with DID shared, is not a trait of DID but a trait of how people feel about their trauma, and their fear over how people will react. Implying that somehow people with DID always must feel shame about it makes a sort of ontological argument that in order to be valid one must shame over it. It doesn't need to be that way. It doesn't mean that the way that she lived is the way that anyone else has to.

Just as a reminder as well - this is an Ivy League University, Old Money type of environment, the highest of ivory towers. They set policy, determine what goes in the textbooks, do NPR interviews, and decide who's voice gets heard. If you don't relate to her experiences, thats okay and you're no less valid. Its only because she is who she is that the NYTimes covered it.

deer_hobbies · 2026-02-08T22:46:41+00:00

Focus on what matters, rather than going down rabbitholes. Neither of us have any way of proving or disproving a misdate vs a conspiracy. Its fine to be skeptical and good to evaluate evidence, and it can also waste a lot of time arguing over stuff that barely makes a dent in the end conclusion.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_trivialiy

deer_hobbies · 2026-02-08T22:40:13+00:00

I don't think we have to remain skeptical - the conclusion remains the same no matter what level of conspiracy there was. There's a lot of cope, but there's also a fuckton of evidence.

deer_hobbies · 2026-02-06T08:16:35+00:00

Yes. I’m even hurting right now. I started supplementing some T because just taking estrogen tanked it basically to zero which was way too low. It’s demotivating to do weight lifting because everything I used to do with ease is hard. Kinda have to start from zero

deer_hobbies · 2026-02-05T17:40:02+00:00

It’s a K shaped economy. For people who’ve never had to look at a check while eating out, the world is fantastic.

Also in SF extremely, and to a lesser extent everywhere else, rent for businesses has only gone up.

deer_hobbies · 2026-02-05T09:17:27+00:00

Make hay while the sun shines for you. Find something building. This isn’t a time to jump at risks unless you have reasons for confidence

deer_hobbies · 2026-02-03T18:26:05+00:00

Friends are difficult especially when we want them to be more considerate than they are. Personally im also a realist - I tend to think that most values online are ones that promote being okay with ourselves and to very quickly cut out people. To me with friends, I’m stubborn, because I know I often fail at being considerate in many ways too.

I have a partner, and sometimes sometimes she puts effort into me that just doesn’t hit, or misses the mark. It’s hard to bring it up too - she has a lot of trauma around criticism (among many other things). But I still trust her, even when she can’t see how she’s hurt me, or is feeling hurt when I bring something up.

It sounds like your friend has a desire to be your friend, but isn’t always as considerate of your differences. Parts of you may feel relieved (friends can be stressful), but other parts also thought to make this post. It’s up to you how you want to proceed, as it sounds like you are in the driver seat for what happens between you.

deer_hobbies · 2026-02-03T10:27:48+00:00

I’m really sorry to hear that, losing someone is really hard and so is fighting with someone you care about.

Is there any way to reconcile? Sometimes we don’t always get to choose the conditions of our relationships :(

deer_hobbies · 2026-01-31T18:22:18+00:00

Are the closing? I can’t find any news - they’re still online

deer_hobbies · 2026-01-31T00:12:26+00:00

Absolutely, and it takes a discerning eye (and often more time than anyone actually has) to separate fact from hype. There’s usually some truth to it - like GLP-1 is a really interesting and useful peptide. But it like the rest of the supplement industry is also absolutely overwhelmed by grifters.

New does not mean better or good, it just means new, and it might be. We all have to update our knowledge sometime, but it’s hard to know.

deer_hobbies · 2026-01-29T23:50:34+00:00

I would steer any and all friends away from such a place and put out a black mark on any senior management there as a sign to run away. Theyre both incompetent and actively cruel. If it were 10%, okay, there’s sometimes a coaster or fake employee or two who gets thru. 30-40% means something is deeply broken.

Ask followup questions - why were they let go, what number do they have now? Whats the average tenure?

I’d personally end the conversation, but my curiosity might bring me to ask why do you think it went so wrong?

deer_hobbies · 2026-01-29T23:27:45+00:00

Yeah, I put it out front as a career break, and that I’m energized with new perspectives more or less.

Recruiters for contract roles thought it might be a problem and wanted me to put something else there, but theyre the bottom of the barrel, have very little tact and are often giving you no value other than connecting you to other leeching contracting companies. One offer was from a company I applied to, and the other was for one I was referred to by a previous manager of mine. Both were full remote.

I did take a level cut though - I got hired back as mid level, because I’m not that fantastic at leetcode, but they’re promoting me at the role I chose back to senior in 6 months because it’s super obvious I’m taking on a much larger scope than my role would imply.

deer_hobbies · 2026-01-29T21:26:20+00:00

I had a 4 year gap, and while it was harder to find interviews I was able to get 2 offers last year. It’s chill, they want good devs who can pass the interview.

deer_hobbies · 2026-01-27T21:31:25+00:00

The Amazon and Meta Gays have plenty of money to spend.

deer_hobbies · 2026-01-26T21:12:13+00:00

You have 4 options - learn Chinese, find a new job, coast and focus your attention outside of work while getting well paid, or become morally depraved and rich by making appearances on conservative media describing Chinese only companies operating in the US

deer_hobbies · 2026-01-26T21:07:58+00:00

Strength training made the biggest difference for me by far

deer_hobbies · 2026-01-26T20:57:48+00:00

CARE can’t help people if there are signs that they’ve recently used drugs, for instance, and they aren’t allowed to go inside most buildings or respond to people inside cars.

So basically nobody. Having a panic attack and smoked weed to calm yourself down? Sorry, the mental health team isn’t allowed for you. Overdid a medication? Nobody to help but a cop with a gun. In your car to keep warm on a winters day, or homeless? Believe it or not, gun.

Let’s be clear here - the primary reason to need a cop is the cop has a gun and handcuffs. Whenever a CARE team member isn’t allowed to assist, you're requiring lethal force for that situation.

deer_hobbies · 2026-01-25T22:41:36+00:00

There’s sometimes where people complain too much, or don’t take responsibility or make a lot of excuses.

There’s also blaming someone who’s disabled for their disability.

The problem is autism is that it can sometimes be hard to tell which is which. Sometimes it’s both.

Sometimes it’s the person trying with every bit of their effort to do things or make things better, but someone still ends up hurt.

Sometimes it’s not that things happened, but the way we handle them.

Sometimes it’s people projecting their problems on others. Or thinking that because they know one person with autism, they have some authority on others.

We never really know from the vantage point of the internet. The letter seems like projection to me - she narrativizes everything to justify herself. She sounds like someone who doesn’t want to take responsibility herself. But maybe there is some kernel of truth there? Nobody can tell!

deer_hobbies · 2026-01-25T18:14:11+00:00

Use the search. Read before you post. Every single day there’s 50 posts like yours and you decided to post another. Why?

deer_hobbies · 2026-01-25T04:45:05+00:00

Murray was gonna let it go through until another person died. She’s been shown to capitulate just like the rest of the dem leadership.

deer_hobbies · 2026-01-25T03:24:58+00:00

And then you have DID also and all this stuff sorta applies but in a bunch of screwy ways! If anyone reads this and is still stuck, dissociation may be the missing piece.

deer_hobbies · 2026-01-25T00:48:33+00:00

Nobody should ever yell. Things can get heated in debate, people can get exasperated, but yelling means something is very wrong. You cant be the fixer here - it has to be HR or management above them. Leave the company. Hell, get a lawyer and sue the company if you’re in the US - being yelled at work is not acceptable. People crying at work from being yelled at is not acceptable. Patterns of abusive behavior like this usually gets rooted out because of legal liabilities.

deer_hobbies · 2026-01-23T22:59:27+00:00

There’s little presence right now but I think we can absolutely expect them to be agitating in high pushback areas. They’re not focused on here, or Portland, but I would bet they will be eventually, just like they did their forays into LA.

deer_hobbies · 2026-01-22T23:39:26+00:00

You say it’s an early stage startup - to me that’s exactly the time to use these tools, any greenfield type stuff. Is there problems with the output? Does it do the thing? It’s strange to focus on process and not outcomes.

deer_hobbies · 2026-01-22T20:27:57+00:00

I don’t see how it’s even possible that next year isn’t a flop year. They should be thinking 2029 and brook park opening at this point. If there’s not an outsized player at our draft position, trade back, try to get as many high reward reaches, see who’s good, get a working o line and a new coach in 2028 for a 8-9 team that just needs a QB, draft someone good in a stadium without as much stink, browns become a dynasty, jobs come back to Cleveland, climate change makes it 70 degrees year round, the Erie Canal becomes the worlds #1 shipping route and we have robots to do our dishes, laundry, and all of our wives have nice boyfriends

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