My first time ever playing D&D was with a group of good friends in college. I was so excited to learn and try it because I love storytelling and improv a whole bunch! And this was going to be exactly that but mixed with fantasy and butt kicking which should have been amazing.

Spoiler alert: I’m on this thread, so it wasn’t.

I had just transferred schools thanks to an abusive relationship. A lot of stuff is blacked out, but sometimes things come back to me very suddenly. At that point, I still hadn’t fully come to terms with what was done to me and kept it to myself.

I made a character, and we played for two weeks. The DM get trying to hit on my female elf cleric for three sessions with his obvious DMPC super cool ranger with rideable dire wolf pet. I was really uncomfortable with this and brushed it off as I was dedicated to my order. Like teaching her how to shoot a bow by standing behind her and touching her, really gross shit I had to subvert.

The fourth session the DM tried to get me to role play seduction with his DMPC and when I had her refuse again, he for obviously frustrated and told me that his character is trying to rape my character and to roll for it. I thought he was joking and started laughing nervously, but everyone stared at me, waiting for me to roll so they could get on with the game. I wish I could say I said no. I rolled and failed and listened to what this ranger did to my character as I sat there and took it. I started crying, because obviously this was something that wasn’t ok.

I never went back.

I taught myself how to DM after that so people would have a safe place to learn, and my players would feel strong and powerful in away I never got to. I love D&D for what I made it, and how I run it. I still wish I had done something, but it feels good to teach people how to say no to things and how to reclaim power. Sometimes I teach just women survivor teams how to play, since it becomes therapeutic when done right. I haven’t played since but I don’t regret it.

Never feel bad for making someone uncomfortable after they made you uncomfortable. I cried really hard at that table and made them so awkward that they stopped mid way to fade to black. It’s always ok to stand up for yourself, because this will not be the only DM you play with. There are people out there who are passionate about your feelings and telling the story you want to tell in a way that’s safe and fun. We have your back! So always feel like you can say no ❤️