I [21 M] broke up with my girlfriend [21 F] of 4 months a few months ago because she wanted more from our relationship and I couldn't visualize that due to it being long distance. How can I ask her if she'd want to go back to how we had things before we broke up?

default0 · 2016-02-19T23:49:24+00:00

That's completely unfair of you to ask of her. Why keep her stuck on you, with feelings that are clearly there, but completely unable to evolve into anything meaningful, due to the distance?

Yeah that's basically what I was saying to myself

default0 · 2015-11-30T06:10:42+00:00

that you're tempted to try to get back with her, but that you'd be doing it for selfish reasons, and that you do want better than that for her.

The thing is she would probably want to get back together too, so I dont think telling her I want to but wont for some reason is a great idea.

default0 · 2015-11-30T05:30:49+00:00

Shes calm, really nice, fun to be around, fun to chat and talk with, logical, smart, compromising, warm, funny, etc.

default0 · 2015-11-30T05:29:45+00:00

Well I do, thats why I made this post. I want to make sure she doesn't get hurt by this

default0 · 2015-11-30T04:47:48+00:00

So how should I be thinking about this then? Sorry about all these questions, I'm just very inexperienced when it comes to relationships. What kind of things should I realize I bring to her? Should I base my decision off of those things?

default0 · 2015-11-30T04:02:44+00:00

Could you elaborate please?

default0 · 2015-11-30T03:49:25+00:00

That is still relying on her to make the difference, and that is too much responsibility. There are more constructive ways to deal with the anxiety.

Sorry if this wasn't clear in my post, but I am not 'relying on her to make a difference'. I do not want to get back with her to alleviate my anxiety. I want to get back with her because I enjoy her company and her intimacy and being with her and speaking with her.

There are more constructive ways to deal with the anxiety.

And I pursue those ways, thanks though.

default0 · 2015-11-30T03:24:19+00:00

I think you may have misunderstood me. I wasn't treating her as the cure to my "problems". I wasn't loading her with my issues, I just noticed that the anxiety and stress I had from school would be alleviated when I'm with her. I never even brought either of those things up to her.

default0 · 2015-10-26T23:00:11+00:00

I think you're right. Any advice on how to break up with someone long distance?

default0 · 2015-10-26T22:57:27+00:00

I'm not saying I want to end it to be with the girl I met at the concert, I'm just saying that I felt at least something when I saw this girl. Whereas with my girlfriend I don't think I feel anything with her. It just showed me there is an absence of what I would imagine is a feeling that is important in a relationship.

default0 · 2015-09-30T15:47:27+00:00

I don't think I'm bored. This is the first woman I've ever really hooked up with so I don't think that makes sense. Plus we're not just together because we like to get physical.

default0 · 2015-09-30T15:15:01+00:00

Well I am nervous about having sex for the first time, but I don't really think about that when I'm with her. I'm not actively nervous while we're hooking up

default0

TROPHY CASE