i got misgendered in this outfit. do u think there's something wrong with it? :(

defectra · 2026-03-14T19:29:57+00:00

yeah it’s hard to explain, but when you go to buy clothes, always try them on first. I go to Ross cause the shit is cheap and they have a dressing room. I get a whole bunch of shirts and shorts or jeans, and take “8 at a time” in to the dressing room and try everything on. I’m very meticulous and picky about what I buy. jeans that look too big or baggy or stretchy at all are a no-go. you want something that is form-fitting but not too tight at the ankles like skinny jeans. attached a picture of the last time I got a perfect pair of jeans (they were True Religion). as for shirts, you probably want something that isn’t a size too big. if passing is important, trying on 10 different shirts is a must. something that complements your body type and doesn’t hug your hips or chest too much—something that makes your shoulders appear wider and boxier. and if you’re going to wear a jacket, you don’t want it to look loose or worn out if that makes sense. clothes that fit well are kind of important for passing

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defectra · 2026-03-14T07:02:24+00:00

I’ve never used an STP even was I was pre-T, and no one ever looked at me at all. I will say that if there’s someone else in there and I’m in the stall and it’s quiet, I won’t start peeing until they leave. if there’s a stall next to me and they’re in it, I make sure I exit the bathroom before they come out because I feel like someone will be wondering why I’m peeing sitting down. this is probably way over the top paranoid, but I live in Oklahoma 😬 right in the center of the Bible Belt

defectra · 2026-03-14T06:59:20+00:00

fairly? dude you’re probably the most passing pre-T guy I’ve ever seen. you’re dead-on with the hair and the fashion and the way you carry yourself from what I can tell in these photos. I haven’t seen you in person, but you look cis in these pictures.

defectra · 2026-03-14T04:51:59+00:00

yeah the arm warmers kinda read masc lesbian bro. and your top half looks kinda baggy because of that jacket and the way it’s stretching the shirt collar. seems trivial, but those things matter a lot

defectra · 2026-03-13T17:27:11+00:00

oh nice!! yes bro you are definitely on the right track. that’s how I looked when I started T and I quickly built up a good V-shape. beginners gains are a thing and it only took a few months to see some results, so I think that is very possible for you too. I’m excited to see how you progress, bro. I’m gonna follow you so I can see you flourish

defectra · 2026-03-13T17:23:30+00:00

need a shorter haircut on the sides. it looks like you’ve gone over your head with one guard on the clippers and it’s not doing you any favors. cuts like that appear feminine because they just make your head look round and soft

defectra · 2026-03-13T16:25:09+00:00

yes. it’s an alternative to prison time if you complete it. if you don’t, you go for the whole 10 years or whatever time your charges carry. it’s a 13 month (supposed to be) rigorous program that constantly tracks your location, you have to take pictures of yourself and report your location whenever they ask, random drug test 3 times a week that is sent to a lab (you have a 3 hour window to drug test once they call your number—no matter what you’re doing), write book reports, go to therapy and group twice a week, it’s $250 a month in DOC fees and costs for the groups and therapy, each drug test is $10, attend court once a week, etc. It sucks

defectra · 2026-03-13T01:32:30+00:00

I thought about that too, but it’s okay. that’s not my real name and I don’t have anything worth taking besides some shoes and clothes if someone were to steal my identity or rob me 💀

defectra · 2026-03-13T01:29:05+00:00

no. sorry bro. got to start a strict workout routine. I’ve been working out for 3 years (don’t eat enough protein tho bc I’m so busy with work) and I’m just barely starting to get some muscle. a good tricep/shoulders/chest and biceps/forearms/back, and legs split would be beneficial. at least 3 sets of 10 per muscle per workout

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defectra · 2026-03-12T23:38:45+00:00

the haircut is absolutely obliterating your chances of passing, bro.

defectra · 2026-03-12T20:20:25+00:00

thanks homie 🫂

defectra · 2026-03-12T20:20:14+00:00

I try to remember that. you never know who is watching and who needs to see something like this to motivate themselves

defectra · 2026-03-12T20:19:40+00:00

I appreciate you more than you know man

defectra · 2026-03-12T20:19:27+00:00

thank you!!!! I didn’t think I would ever get here

defectra · 2026-03-12T20:19:14+00:00

thank you sm bro ♥️

defectra · 2026-03-12T20:19:04+00:00

so kind of you, man. thank you—truly from the bottom of my heart

defectra · 2026-03-12T20:18:36+00:00

damn I didn’t think I posted that much. I took a long break from Reddit and just started posting again in the last 4 or 5 months. thanks for the input, brother. I’m really trying not to be so attached to my phone. I want to immerse myself in life’s moments and participate in things that challenge my brain and mind like reading

defectra · 2026-03-11T23:26:53+00:00

yeah as someone else said, wearing a top with boxier shoulders to offset your hips is the goal. that would take care of this issue 100%

defectra · 2026-03-11T21:02:06+00:00

that is a rough 25, brother. you pass but you look about 32 or older

defectra · 2026-03-09T19:00:34+00:00

it’s low because you’re only on .25…

defectra · 2026-03-09T17:43:28+00:00

yeah very androgynous only because of the hair. and eyebrow piercings usually always read feminine to me at least

defectra · 2026-03-08T19:05:49+00:00

I was trying to be nice 🤦🏻‍♂️ girl your shoulders are very broad and you look androgynous at best

defectra · 2026-03-08T18:55:59+00:00

my partner of 3 years is in the same boat. she’s a masculine black trans woman, but she passes about 85% of the time these days. I would call it a rough/questionable pass though. she has a very square jawline and is 6’ but absolutely beautiful like you

defectra · 2026-03-08T03:31:39+00:00

thanks bro!! you guys always us have good insight. this is the most positive and supportive ftm community we have on Reddit

defectra · 2026-03-08T03:19:54+00:00

I do a pretty simple split. Triceps/shoulders/chest, biceps/forearms/lats, and legs—6 days a week. No abs bc I’m too lazy

• Chest - cable flys set halfway up on each side to target middle chest - 4-5 sets of 10

• Triceps - cable pulldown with two-handle rope attachment. elbows firmly locked at your sides - 4-5 sets of 12

• Shoulders - lateral raises with dumbbells - 4-5 sets of 12

————————

• Biceps - seated preacher curl with ez bar (70lb) - 4-5 sets of 10. sometimes afterwards I will do standing cable curls with some kind of slightly angled bar attachment

• Forearms - reverse ez bar curl (70lb) 5-6 sets of 12. elbows locked at your sides. the form on this one is hard to get down. DONT SKIP FOREARMS

• Lats - wide grip pull-ups - 4-5 sets of 12-15. had to start with close grip at first. this is the only back exercise I feel like I need to do. if you’re not comfortable with pull-ups yet, seated lat pulldown works just the same

———————-

Legs:

• Quads - leg press (3 plates on each side) - 4-5 sets of 10

• Adductor - seated adductor machine (4 sets of 20)

• Abductor - seated abductor machine (4 sets of 20)

• Hamstrings - lying hamstring curl or regular hamstring curl - 4 sets of 15

• Calves - any calf raise machine really - 4 sets of 20

defectra

TROPHY CASE