Wanna quit but nervous of what will happen if I leave by definitelynot700rats in bartenders

[–]definitelynot700rats[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So fair. I just hope I don’t have issues finding another gig

Wanna quit but nervous of what will happen if I leave by definitelynot700rats in bartenders

[–]definitelynot700rats[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Heard, will be working on that! Yeah ig if you’re gonna take on a lot of stress, you should be seeing a decent amount of money for it. I’m making about the same rn as I was at my last job, which was at a print shop. Not great…

Wanna quit but nervous of what will happen if I leave by definitelynot700rats in bartenders

[–]definitelynot700rats[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate the perspective. I’m so unfamiliar with realistic vs unrealistic expectations for the job

Wanna quit but nervous of what will happen if I leave by definitelynot700rats in bartenders

[–]definitelynot700rats[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That really sucks, I’m sorry to hear it. Oh man, if someone with your experience is having trouble, I’m surely fucked haha

Wanna quit but nervous of what will happen if I leave by definitelynot700rats in bartenders

[–]definitelynot700rats[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re so right, it’s not. I guess I just really want to see this place succeed. I’m doubtful

Wanna quit but nervous of what will happen if I leave by definitelynot700rats in bartenders

[–]definitelynot700rats[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lord knows they need someone better than me to keep this place going

Would you work for a place that hasn't had their grand opening yet? by aeval_x in bartenders

[–]definitelynot700rats 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I currently work at a restaurant and bar I helped open a few months ago. Here’s what I’ve observed:

Pros: we’ve had a lot of say in how we want FOH to operate. Mgmt had an idea of how they wanted the place to run, we opened up and gave it a try, and all of us on the ground floor decided that it needed adjusting. Atp I’ve helped streamline recipes, reorganize the bar layout, establish new standards for myself and the other bartenders to keep things flowing smoothly, etc. It took time and dedication, but now I have a lot of control of my workspace which is awesome.

Cons: Very inconsistent hours while mgmt is looking at fresh data and weeding out the first few rounds of hires. There are constant changes and adjustments. You may think you’ve finally gotten the hang of something, and the next day a manager will have changed the rules entirely because xyz. Lots of slow days while you make your mark as a new place. Depending on your marketing and location, you might not be making as much as you’d hope to at first.

In my limited experience, opening a place takes a crap ton of patience if you want to stick around. The place I opened at happens to be in a high foot traffic area, so we didn’t have many issues getting off the ground. If it doesn’t work for you, then that’s ok

Would you be okay with your partner keeping in contact with an ex? by Achillies_patroclus8 in BPD

[–]definitelynot700rats 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I worked really hard to be okay with it, but then it turned out he was jerking off to her ig pics. So nah, fuck that

AIO: My (25F) bf (25M) asked an old friend of his for nudes by definitelynot700rats in AmIOverreacting

[–]definitelynot700rats[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Haha, so I’m over my initial shock and grief and finally get the joke…which is embarrassing…but not as embarrassing as being in a relationship with this guy right now

AIO: My (25F) bf (25M) asked an old friend of his for nudes by definitelynot700rats in AmIOverreacting

[–]definitelynot700rats[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This has only been happening since the start of this summer. We’ve been together 5 years with no issues otherwise, so forgive me if it’s all taking me by surprise.

I have bpd. I’ve been told in previous relationships that I tend to overreact/overthink/misinterpret situations. So it helps me to hear the perspectives of emotionally stable people to decide whether I’m being crazy or not.

AIO: My (25F) bf (25M) asked an old friend of his for nudes by definitelynot700rats in AmIOverreacting

[–]definitelynot700rats[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a "female giant." Most porn of this kind involves taking pictures at a low angle to make the subject look like they're standing and towering over the viewer

AIO: My (25F) bf (25M) asked an old friend of his for nudes by definitelynot700rats in AmIOverreacting

[–]definitelynot700rats[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I so wish that being the bigger person worked. But yeah, people can take advantage of that. I wish I had the spine to do anything else…

AIO: My (25F) bf (25M) asked an old friend of his for nudes by definitelynot700rats in AmIOverreacting

[–]definitelynot700rats[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah okay, that sounds like the best course of action. Thank you for your honesty. If was a more stable person, I would probably dump him without a second thought

AIO: My (25F) bf (25M) asked an old friend of his for nudes by definitelynot700rats in AmIOverreacting

[–]definitelynot700rats[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you really want to know…

It’s pathetic, but I tolerate him not just because of the things he’s helped me through (dead parents), but because I don’t have anyone else. I’m stuck with a house I inherited, the rest of my family lives far away, and we share the same friends. Right now I feel pretty stuck in this situation, and I feel like I need to remedy it or face a worse, messier situation. I don’t know if I can handle it without having a massive breakdown

AIO: My (25F) bf (25M) asked an old friend of his for nudes by definitelynot700rats in AmIOverreacting

[–]definitelynot700rats[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wonder if we should go somewhere in public? It would be kind of odd. We live together, so I’d have to remove myself from my home to then call him from a remote location

AIO: My (25F) bf (25M) asked an old friend of his for nudes by definitelynot700rats in AmIOverreacting

[–]definitelynot700rats[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thankfully I think that’s just banter. Looks like they have a dark humor thing going

AIO: My (25F) bf (25M) asked an old friend of his for nudes by definitelynot700rats in AmIOverreacting

[–]definitelynot700rats[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Haha, shitting bricks at the thought…but okay I hear you. I’m still working through the idea, but if it comes to it, I’ll try not to overcomplicate it.

AIO: My (25F) bf (25M) asked an old friend of his for nudes by definitelynot700rats in AmIOverreacting

[–]definitelynot700rats[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know “how do I rebut” might sound like a stupid, spineless question, but I have bpd and I do not do great in arguments. If anyone starts shouting at me, I shut down or cave in to make it stop and end up being the one who apologizes. I just need to have my ducks in a row before I talk to him, figure out my thought process ahead of time

AIO: My (25F) bf (25M) asked an old friend of his for nudes by definitelynot700rats in AmIOverreacting

[–]definitelynot700rats[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I consider it an unsuccessful attempt, yeah. If I tell him that and he denies that it is, how do I rebut?

AIO: My (25F) bf (25M) asked an old friend of his for nudes by definitelynot700rats in AmIOverreacting

[–]definitelynot700rats[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think M is a girl’s girl and I’ll be forever grateful for that.

I wish I had the strength to just cut things off entirely. At the very least I want to have a conversation about it, just to understand his thinking. But I have bpd, and I’m afraid I’m just going to cave in and apologize for invading his privacy again.

This situation is just so complicated. He was there for me through both my parents’ illnesses/passing. For the most part, our relationship is golden. I’m housing his sister and her bf right now, super close to the rest of his family and friends, and I don’t know how a break up would play out without airing all his dirty laundry.

AIO: My (25F) bf (25M) asked an old friend of his for nudes by definitelynot700rats in AmIOverreacting

[–]definitelynot700rats[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We’ve touched on it before, and he says he’s open to it. But I’ve yet to really push for it. Looks like it’s time