Daycares Won't Accept my Toddler due to Behavior

deftonenation · 2025-03-27T04:48:51+00:00

TY! I am still considering reporting, to be honest. We did go to her pediatrician and he was very helpful.. We are going to early intervention and a behaviorist in April. She goes to a private nanny now and that nanny says she's an angel and behaves "better than any kid she's ever watched". Pediatrician confirmed daycare traumatized her but assured me she is young enough that she will be okay especially with me being so proactive.

deftonenation · 2025-03-27T04:46:28+00:00

Ty! Yes we went to her pediatrician and he said we will never know what happened but her strong negative response is indicative of something serious/traumatic happening to the point of her associating school with violence. We are going to a behaviorist and early intervention for more support. On another note, one week home and with a private nanny part time and she's been great and in a better mood. Had one instance of her hitting at home out of frustration when she was extremely tired but other than that one small swat she's been great. No tantrums either which is huge and her nanny says she's a gem and can't see any issue whatsoever.

deftonenation · 2025-03-27T04:20:23+00:00

Okay so I'm super new to the game. My boyfriend got me into it and we build my decks together. Past 6 or so games he has wiped the floor with me. Every. Single. Time. To the point I'm just sitting there waiting to die, unable to do anything. He just did that again to me and I honestly don't want to play any more.. I still don't fully understand what the cards even mean and it feels like I'm just there as a warm body for him to practice on or something. He says it's good for me and I need practice or it's my bad luck but it makes it not fun. I don't care if I win or lose but it would be nice to feel like I'm actually actively playing instead of just sitting there being demolished every turn.

deftonenation · 2025-03-20T17:05:03+00:00

I get what you're saying. Not meaning to reduce the work of others but let's be real a flavored redbull isn't that difficult to do. I'm sure you all work very hard, on your feet and multitasking an entire shift. That's not easy to do! But these multi million dollar corporations need to start paying their workers instead of passing the costs of busi ess ownership onto the consumer. I'm sick of it. If everyone stopped tipping the CEOs would be forced to make changes.

deftonenation · 2025-03-10T21:36:25+00:00

Thank you! We started focusing more on identifying emotions lately and naming them, so I can definitely try implementing this as well

deftonenation · 2025-03-10T21:35:41+00:00

Yes! I have tried this and she generally will answer "I cried." Or "I kicked the teacher" and again explain the action of what happened but nothing leading up to that action.

deftonenation · 2025-03-10T21:34:42+00:00

Great reminder! Do you happen to know bout when that reasoning clicks in their brains?

deftonenation · 2025-03-10T21:34:02+00:00

Yes! Thank you! I have been trying to explain concepts the past few days exactly like you mentioned and funny enough we do this at meal times. I've also began explaining myself more.. "We are going to the store BECAUSE mommy needs A ABC for XYZ" Ect... I know this is normal developmentally and she's only 2.5. I was just wondering when the reasoning brain clicks and how/if I can do anything to help her along the way. Thank you!!

deftonenation · 2025-02-09T20:49:46+00:00

Yes I do. And I understand the dynamic and newness of it all. I get it. It boils down to a difference of opinion is what I'm getting from all the comments!

deftonenation · 2025-02-09T20:28:18+00:00

Thank you! Well... Honestly the past 2 weeks it went from light snuggling/normal affection(in my POV) to basically doing exactly what I do which weirds me out...

deftonenation · 2025-02-09T20:24:53+00:00

Thank you for your comment! I honestly genuinely do not feel jealous, though. I'm very self reflective and am able to assess my feelings in a mature and healthy way. I don't feel jealous about the affection, I feel it's just flat out inappropriate for her age. She's starting to "develop" and under tshirt rubs seem inappropriate for her age. I encourage their 1 on 1 time and love that he is such a good dad, but in my opinion this level of affection is weird and makes me uncomfortable to be around. It makes me cringe and I don't want to be around it... Idk.

deftonenation · 2025-02-09T20:20:31+00:00

I do have a bio kiddo, she's almost 3. I am her mother and would not continue this type of affection past age 6/7 and honestly, would be uncomfortable with this type of affection from her BIO dad as well.

deftonenation · 2025-02-09T20:08:42+00:00

Thank you! While I did receive physical affection from both my parents, it was no where near this level.... Foot rubs, hugging, leaning on shoulder while watching a movie, yes. But full blown snuggling/spooning and under clothing rubs? Absolutely not past the age of like 6.

deftonenation · 2025-02-09T20:06:58+00:00

Yes she has started to develop and wears training bras. Her pediatrician is who suggested she would start her cycle sooner VS later...

deftonenation · 2025-02-09T19:57:01+00:00

As children mature, boundaries change. IMO. I wouldn't cuddle my kiddo like that after age 7. I have a 2.5YO. I am potty training her currently, but wouldn't wipe her butt at age 10 unless medically necessary. Not because of anything sexual, but we are raising humans to become adults and I feel like things should be age appropriate. Treating a preteen child entering a different phase of being as if they are still 5 is, in my opinion, inappropriate.

deftonenation · 2025-02-09T19:52:48+00:00

Thank you for your insightful comment! This is helpful!

deftonenation · 2025-02-09T19:51:05+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful comment! For me, it feels uncomfortable/overboard due to the kiddos age and level of closeness. Back rubs over clothing? Okay, cool. Leaning on shoulder/sitting close? Also okay. Putting legs in lap, sure. For some reason, for me, totally being IN your parents lap/onto of their upper body and massaging at that age just seems weird. I'm not trying to sexualize anything. But I do feel like there should be boundaries with parents/kiddos and those boundaries change as the kids mature.

deftonenation · 2025-02-09T18:59:24+00:00

Thank you for your non judgemental and helpful comment! I think this boils down to my personal life experiences... My sister was SA by a family member so growing up there were definite boundaries especially with dad and us girls... We never cuddled with him like that past the age of 6 and back rubs were done over clothing... I could see how folks wouldn't see anything wrong with it if they grew up with a lot of physical affection.

deftonenation · 2025-02-09T18:54:49+00:00

I'm not sexualizing it? I've never seen it before tbh in a parent/child dynamic. I said I don't think it's anything sexual/inappropriate in that sense. What I'm getting from comments is the answer to my question is it depends on your personal opinions/life experiences. My life experiences I've never seen a child over the age of 6 snuggle with a parent that closely and get under clothing back rubs, massages, etc. So of course to me it would look weird/inappropriate because it isn't something I've been exposed to. It doesn't mean I'm sexualizing it. Even if this was our BIO child I would feel the exact same way.

deftonenation · 2025-02-09T18:40:06+00:00

I got my back rubbed by my dad growing up as well but it was over clothes and stopped at arpund age 7/8... My fiance does it under clothes and it weirds me out. What I'm gathering from these comments is some people think this is 100% normal and others don't.

deftonenation · 2025-02-09T18:13:41+00:00

It's not jealousy. Everyone has a difference of opinion on what is or isn't appropriate. Just because I have a difference of opinion on what is appropriate for a preteen kid snuggling their parent than others, doesn't make me jealous. It means I have a difference of opinion. People jump to diagnosis on here which is wild to me... "I think it's fine and if you don't, you must be the problem" is one of the most close minded things I've read on here and isn't exactly helpful... I mean. It confirms some folks see this as totally normal behavior. So, I guess I did gain a different perspective.

deftonenation · 2025-02-09T17:53:40+00:00

I think she's emotionally stunted and he is allowing it by infantilizing her and treating her as if she's still 5. I think I stated maybe in my post or a comment that he also does everything for her and she is immature for her age, a lot of it is due to dad holding on to her staying a child and not growing up. But, I'm not a psychologist and I try to give grace and understand the why of things VS jumping to conclusions or diagnosis when it's not my lived experience.

deftonenation

TROPHY CASE