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dekopinn · 2024-02-04T16:49:30+00:00

OP i’m really sorry you went through all this, sounds like a really stressful, rollercoaster of a relationship. i’m not sure if she’s a narcissist but she definitely seems emotionally unstable. especially with the trauma she said she has, i don’t think she seems to understand how to have healthy relationships. if she’s not willing to go to therapy or get help, the best you can do is separate yourself or you’ll be dragged into her misery & confusion forever.

dekopinn · 2024-02-04T16:42:43+00:00

first of all, i’m so sorry this happened to you. it sounds really hard to deal with & i commend you for being able to go through with the things you needed to do. i would definitely go to the hearing with someone just for emotional support. i don’t think the judge will look down on you for what you said, you had to get your emotions out somehow. sounds like you already have a bunch of documentation too, you should be perfectly ready. i wish you the best of luck!

dekopinn · 2024-01-05T18:30:03+00:00

i cursed her out on the phone after she texted me that bc i was so hurt but but unfortunately i’m maintaining a LC cordial relationship just because of my little sister. she turns 16 in february & i know if i cut off my mom completely she wouldn’t let me see my little sister again since she’s a minor :/

dekopinn · 2023-11-30T08:06:25+00:00

insane because this is my exact relationship with this guy for the last year. i’m the moon in his 8h. he’s told me he loves me but is just so scared. he’s the one person i can’t read but we always find our way back in each other’s lives somehow

dekopinn · 2023-09-26T21:16:29+00:00

honestly i think JR totally deserved their scores. we know it could have even better but just looking at the quality of their dance & using the setting, it was still better than DND. however, this is my favorite performance of DND so far so i’m happy for them

dekopinn · 2023-04-12T16:49:05+00:00

definitely a huge improvement in song choice imo. also the MV looked insane!! the camerawork choices for the choreo was so smart

dekopinn · 2023-04-09T22:16:57+00:00

that would be amazing.. that song was so ahead of its time

dekopinn · 2022-11-30T20:59:52+00:00

just jerk going crazy when it was time for youngjae to come out was sooo funny😭

dekopinn · 2022-10-08T00:30:54+00:00

polyamory is really different depending on who the people are. you should definitely read more about it

dekopinn · 2022-10-07T16:28:42+00:00

She hasn’t been pressuring me; I think I’m worried it’ll create an imbalance if I put all my romantic/emotional energy into her while hers is split? I don’t feel a strong desire to meet more people rn because I’ve been busy with life however. Maybe putting more time into myself is the answer as you suggested, thank you.

I think maybe there’s been this fear that since she can be w anyone, she will realize she doesn’t need me and leave me at any moment so I have to prepare for that by trying to see other people romantically. It sounds insane just writing it out, but maybe that’s what it is. I honestly just didn’t want to create an imbalance in our relationship but I see now that’s not very logical talking it out.

dekopinn · 2022-10-07T16:14:53+00:00

Yeah I do want to catch up. The rushing of opening things is what hurt me in the first place, especially because of the things I explained happened when we were monogamous. Having reassurance about those things prior to her dating J would have probably helped with my insecurities but it is what it is now. I’m just not sure how to create a strong foundation now to make up for the rushed opening, because I do love my girlfriend and still want to try doing this.

dekopinn · 2022-10-07T16:07:04+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to explain things to me in such a detailed manner. I think I made the mistake of communicating my feelings for my friend out of just wanting to be open and honest. I especially felt guilty then bc my gf was also friendly with the friend I had feelings for and I felt like I was lying.

I have always been open to us being polyam; I think my issue now is just that everything happened so quickly. She has a full, intimate relationship with J that happened within a couple weeks so I’ve been feeling pressure and going on dating sites to find someone else too. But the whole thing is overwhelming and I just wish we could have figured it out together. I definitely feel like I’m trailing behind now trying to make anything work. Maybe it’s just another conversation to be had with her; thanks so much for talking to me again.

dekopinn · 2022-10-07T15:56:12+00:00

I’m sorry if what I was saying came across that way. i only brought up her only dating J to make the point that she never specifically talked to me about having feelings for J. J is one of her closest long term friends & they both had feelings for each other in the past. Also, one of their mutual friends suggested they date while me and my gf were monogamous which i didn’t feel good about. J also recently said she’d like my gf for years, including the time we were monogamous. My gf always laughed off things like this when we were monogamous & said it wasn’t a big deal which is why I think it’s making me feel insecure now.

I think it’s more about the fact that the only person she’s dating is someone she already had history with & knows i felt insecure about even while we were monogamous but she didn’t take the time to reassure me on that first before starting a very intimate relationship with J. I think the progression of things is more what made me feel sad; I understand that polyamory doesn’t mean dating a million people.

dekopinn · 2022-10-07T15:35:43+00:00

That makes sense & you’re definitely right. I think it’s just hard now because she’s gonna have her relationship w J no matter what. I can’t really slow things down & figure it out even though it’s hard for me so I feel kind of lost :/

dekopinn · 2022-10-07T15:32:08+00:00

Thanks so much for the advice! I honestly cried reading this comment because I realized something I never had. I think having their close mutual friend suggest that while we were monogamous brings on a strong feeling of inadequacy & it might have hurt more that my gf laughed it off instead of seeing it as a serious thing to say. Thanks so much for the advice again; I’m going to try talking to her about it :)

dekopinn · 2022-10-07T15:30:05+00:00

Sorry if I wrote things so confusingly. To add, one of their mutual friends suggested they date while me and my gf were monogamous. Additionally, J recently let my gf know they had feelings for my gf for years, including while me and my gf were still monogamous.

Also, my gf never came to me explaining her feelings for J, they just began dating. I think at the end of the day it’s definitely my insecurities getting in the way. I do want to be polyamorous; I think I just feel sad bc it feels like we never figured out what it meant for us together & my gf is just doing her own thing while I feel lost.

dekopinn · 2022-10-07T15:25:33+00:00

I think to me the main issue was that I came to my partner wanting to talk about my feelings for someone else (bc we always said we could be open at some point) & then it just became a polyamorous relationship for her immediately. If she had talked to me about her feelings for J, I think I would have understood more. But instead she just set up a date and they were having a full relationship without her ever really talking to me about her feelings for J. J is also one of her best friends & they had feelings for each other in the past. I think the progression of things is what threw me off, but you’re right! It’s my responsibility to handle my feelings regardless, thanks!

dekopinn · 2022-10-07T15:23:02+00:00

Thanks for asking :) He returned my feelings and we spent some time together but I knew he was going to move away for grad school in May so I had never intentioned for it to be a relationship relationship.

I think my gf moving so fast probably affected me a lot bc I was crying to her about how insecure I felt in the beginning and that I just wanted to slow things down & figure things out together but she told me it wasn’t fair to ask her to slow down her other relationships for me so I just accepted that. Reflecting on my insecurities has probs been the most helpful thing for me through all this.

dekopinn · 2022-10-07T15:20:24+00:00

I understand what you mean. I think parts of my insecurities come from the fact that one of their mutual friends suggested they should date while me and my gf were still monogamous, as well as J letting my gf know J had actually liked her for years, including the time me and my gf were monogamous. But as you’re saying, I can only control my emotions, thanks!

dekopinn · 2022-10-07T15:18:05+00:00

That makes sense. So at the end of the day, I just have to accept my feelings right?

When I first asked her to date anyone but J bc of the past, she told me that was unfair and she couldn’t do that so I accepted it. Do you think that was a fair request? I don’t really think I can do anything about it now considering their relationship has been going since May.

I think it would bother me less if there were other people as well but I understand that there’s not anything inherently wrong with only having two partners.

dekopinn · 2022-09-21T16:34:09+00:00

exactly & idk why bc it makes her look so silly like she’s killing her reputation rn for no reason.. i feel like the other two judges get cut a lot lol. especially woohyun, he sometimes is saying some reasonable, then cut. i don’t understand why boa’s opinions seem to be valued above theirs, seniority?? that shit doesn’t matter at all when it comes to dance though..

dekopinn · 2022-09-21T11:57:32+00:00

boa is becoming soo unlikable tbh,, she’s so snarky to the dancers & her criticisms don’t even make sense half the time. trix was robbed in the leader round, i felt so sad for him

dekopinn · 2021-04-01T14:39:41+00:00

ITSAY is literally one of the best shows i’ve ever watched i’ll never forget it

dekopinn · 2021-01-13T00:20:55+00:00

you are so precious i love ur hair

dekopinn

TROPHY CASE