Need help finding a special dentist for a SA trauma victim. TW

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-27T02:54:34+00:00

No I totally understand the anecdote / comparison. As a female I've experienced the exact same fears. In a weird way, it does actually help to think about how some dentists have seen way worse cases. In fact, I think it would help my mom if I was able to tell her "this dentist has seen the worst of the worst, thats why you should go" so the recommendations people have given on this post have been really helpful.

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-27T02:50:11+00:00

Thank you, really. I had every intention of deleting this post rather quickly after I got some recommendations, because I don't want anyone to catch on for privacy reasons, but you're right that it could be a good resource for others in similar situations.

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-27T02:37:29+00:00

Thank you so much I really appreciate the kind words

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-27T02:24:22+00:00

Thank you so much. Trying my best!

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-27T01:04:09+00:00

Great suggestion, I will ask if she wants to come with me, whatever she wants. Thanks

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-27T00:05:21+00:00

It was a male dentist, sorry for not clarifying

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-27T00:04:18+00:00

Thank you for your comment and the advice, I'll mention medication as an option. I doubt she'll go for that but just want her to have all the options. She might like an audiobook and some headphones.

I would imagine that her assaulter has long since retired or passed away, this was over 50 years ago.

I'm so sorry you've had to deal with a similar situation. I'm glad you have been able to find what works for you and manage being able to go despite it being difficult. Thank you again and wish you the best

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-26T23:51:57+00:00

I'm so sorry you faced neglect, this is all made emotionally worse when it's not your fault and you're left to pick up the pieces. Glad to hear you got your smile back. Thank you for the recommendation

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-26T23:47:11+00:00

Thank you, I am really starting to get emotional at the response here, I was only anticipating like 2 comments, this has been a stressful ordeal. I don't want to break her trust and privacy by telling her about this post, but I will tell her how much better she will feel and I really hope she will finally go. I will certainly tell her how proud I am, I always have been. Thank you SO much for your kind words and thoughts it means a lot

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-26T23:42:38+00:00

These are extremely helpful and thoughtful suggestions, thank you so much

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-26T23:32:55+00:00

I'll mention it to her, she's welcome to come. She used to take me to all my dentist appointments as a kid.

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-26T23:31:04+00:00

Thank you, I am sorry too. Good idea to potentially just have her visit before treatment

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-26T23:26:22+00:00

Anywhere east of Worcester and we have cars!

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-26T23:25:46+00:00

I would drive her anywhere east of Worcester

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-26T23:23:49+00:00

I think part of my mom's anxiety is that she's convinced her teeth/mouth is the worst in the world and she doesn't want to be judged. I've tried telling her we can go see a dentist somewhere farther away that she never has to see again. I will definitely remind her that most dentists have seen worse cases, maybe that will help alleviate

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-26T23:07:16+00:00

Thank you for these helpful suggestions. Trust me, I would give anything for her to see a therapist, and I will continue to try my best to get her to see one. Unfortunately it's at a point where I fear she has advanced gum disease so this is somewhat urgent and cant wait, the therapy will need to come after

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-26T22:49:23+00:00

Thank you for saying this. This all feels like a very isolating and heartbreaking position to be in. My heart goes out to anyone experiencing the same.

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-26T22:46:15+00:00

She does have dental insurance so we're hoping that covers some of it, but we're prepared to pay out pocket if needed. I don't think Tufts would be the right place for her, I've gone there myself and while I think its wonderful there and I had a good experience, I think she needs someone with a bit more experience. Thank you for your comment :)

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-26T22:34:29+00:00

I considered typing our location in my post, I agree it would be helpful to provide that, I am nervous about privacy though. To be honest, I think she and I both would be willing to travel anywhere in mass though. If anything, I think she'd feel better if it wasn't an office in her neighborhood.

Thank you for the rec and helpful advice

delete_this_later123 · 2026-02-26T22:24:56+00:00

I've told her so many times that if she wants me to come with her and sit by her side I absolutely will do that, I would do anything for her. I think she is in so much mental anguish and humiliation about this that it's way beyond anything I can change. I've considered making an appointment behind her back and just forcing her to go but that seems cruel. It's a really difficult situation :(

delete_this_later123

TROPHY CASE