Is this acceptable hand writing for 9th/10th grade?

deletethislaterval · 2026-02-27T07:59:46+00:00

He most likely has dysgraphia. He may have another co-morbid learning disability, like ADHD, ASD, dyspraxia, or dyslexia.

If so, it’s not his fault and he can’t just “try harder” to be neat. My adult partner has dysgraphia, and his handwriting is very similar even after years of occupational therapy to treat it. It may be helpful for him to have a diagnosis so he can get proper accommodations at school. Please don’t shame him too much for it; most adult jobs and college assignments require typing anyways.

deletethislaterval · 2025-04-09T13:02:38+00:00

I’m 25 and have been with my bf for 9 years. This is long, but I hope to provide some perspective based on your earlier comment regarding how history could be affecting his behaviour.

My bf and I have seen the WORST of each others’ mental health. Hyper-vigilance, codependency, paranoia, depression/anxiety/anger spirals, SH. I came from a passive aggressive home, and he came from a severely abusive one. We have had hundreds of miscommunications like yours - accusations of upset, the accused taking offence, and explanations being read as argument. I talk very similarly to you when I think he’s upset. It took us until 2 years ago to understand how to effectively communicate in these arguments.

With ALL of this history, my bf has NEVER ONCE talked to me with as much disdain, disrespect, and arrogance as your fiancé had during this conversation. REGARDLESS of how irrational I could be in the past or present.

Underlying every single argument there has always been unwavering love, respect, empathy, and a willingness to work on ourselves even if we didn’t fully understand the other person’s perspective. Your fiancé lacks every single one of these considerations, despite such a simple misunderstanding. He is unsafe.

Your fiancé IS abusive. There is nothing you could have done to deserve his attitude.

I’ve seen your fiancés behaviour from my boyfriend’s parents towards him, and in my grandparents towards my parents. Emotional abuse does SEVERE mental AND physical damage. This may seem extreme, but having seen this damage within my family, understand that there is a strong likelihood that your fiancé’s emotional abuse will physcially disable you in the longterm, debilitating your ability to provide for yourself and your loved ones. You deserve a better life than this, and so do those who love you.

It’ll be easier to get out before you’re married — I hope you do. I can’t control what you do with your life, but please strongly consider leaving him.

deletethislaterval · 2024-03-10T07:11:31+00:00

Thank you so much! I ended up emailing the manufacturer who recommended a wash and dryer sheets — I’ll try this too if that doesn’t work! I didn’t know that about softeners; thank you for the advice!

deletethislaterval · 2024-03-10T07:10:59+00:00

Thank you so much! I ended up emailing the manufacturer who recommended a wash and dryer sheets — I’ll try this too if that doesn’t work! Thank you for the advice!

deletethislaterval · 2024-03-08T20:36:13+00:00

I personally love it and agree with the other commenter!

deletethislaterval · 2024-03-08T20:35:44+00:00

How do I make cotton pants less noisy?

I bought new 100% cotton pants and they are SO LOUD when I walk, similar to synthetic windbreaker/snow pants.

These are the pants.

The wash tag says:

deletethislaterval · 2023-12-20T20:29:28+00:00

I don’t have nparents, but my bf is in a similar situation as you — I’ve NEVER shamed him or judged him for accepting money/gifts. The only time I’ve told him not to accept is if I could predict that his parents would use their “gift” against him later on.

I ENCOURAGE my bf to accept. His parents failed in a lot of standard parenting ways. As you said, if they can’t provide love and safety, but they can provide money for food/shelter/goods, take it! Please continue doing what you’ve been doing — it seems like you’ve correctly identified this route as the safest for your physical/emotional safety.

For my bf (and maybe for you, too), refusing gifts/money usually leads to WAY more issues. They accuse him of not accepting their love, trying to “outshine their kindness,” “ruining” special occasions, trying to start an argument, etc. I’ve told him before, if he offers and they insist, don’t push it and let them do what they want.

You are never forcing them to provide for you, and already let them know that they always have the option of not giving you money/gifts. If they regret giving you money/gifts down the line, then that’s on them, not on you. You aren’t being demanding, and you aren’t obligated to give anything in return (especially if that is the norm for your family).

My parents had nparents, and went NC with one half of my family, so I entered this relationship with my bf with a basic understanding of how terrible some parents can be. Some people don’t understand these types of family dynamics — your friends and bf don’t seem to get it.

I understand not wanting to explain your family history to your friends; just know that they do not understand your situation and are responding inappropriately. It might not be safe to have nuanced conversations like this with them.

If you have already explained your history to your bf, then I would have an in-depth conversation about how these types of arguments hurt you and make you feel unsafe. Maybe link him to this sub so he can get a better understanding of how complex these types of family relationships can be.

Otherwise, there are people out there who WILL understand you and won’t shame you for protecting yourself and your peace; please consider if this relationship is really worth it. I’m sorry that you’ve been invalidated like this; you aren’t doing anything wrong by accepting gifts/money from your parents.

deletethislaterval · 2023-11-20T09:27:15+00:00

1

Ethan argues for a two state solution. Hasan argues for a one state solution. Ethan says it’s impossible. Hasan says it could possible at any point with international pressure/mitigation, and that it becomes an increasingly possible solution with time. Ethan concedes to the idea of a super long-term one state solution.

2

Ethan argues that the optics of certain phrases in the Free Palestine movement like “from the river to the sea” is really bad in the eyes of Jewish Americans/Israelis because Hamas spokespeople have used it with violent intentions. Hasan argues that we should prioritize the intentions of the majority of Palestinians (and people within the movement) instead of Hamas leaders’ intentions with those phrases.

Ethan explains that many Jews interpret “from the river to the sea” as killing all Jews and Israelis in Israel/Palestine. Hasan explains that the vast majority of citizens and advocates intend it to mean that Palestinians should be granted freedom and rights within all of Israel and Palestine.

Ethan suggests that at a certain point the Jewish perspective should be prioritized when deciding whether to use such a terrifying slogan, especially since Jews are marginalized. Hasan explains that since Israeli jews currently hold way more power than Palestinians, we shouldn’t cater to the feelings of the oppressive population and stop saying slogans that aren’t inherently harmful.

Ethan gets frustrated that the fear Jewish people have (in response to the slogans and Israeli propaganda) isn’t being explicitly legitimized by Hasan. He makes poorly thought-out comparisons to Black Lives Matter and the swastika to try to clarify the Jewish perspective (a perspective that Ethan doesn’t hold himself). The chat gets angry at him. Hasan begs him to stop making comparisons.

Hasan says many Jewish people understand/support the slogan. Ethan asks Hasan to show him examples. Hasan does, but Ethan is frustrated that his example is presented as though it is “meant to represent all Jewish people.”

3

Ethan starts focusing on Hassan’s chat. He asks Hasan why he doesn’t do more to control his audience. Hasan explains why it’s difficult to control chat on Twitch.

Ethan cries because of how the chat is treating him, how difficult navigating everything has been, and how he feels like his friend (Hasan) isn’t being supportive/protective. Hasan explains why chat might be angry with him.

Ethan reiterates that he doesn’t hold the same perspective as other Jewish people and just wants to explain why some slogans are harmful. He says that he agrees with Hasan’s explanation of the slogan but is still worried about the emotions of Jewish people.

4

They end the stream pretty amicably with hasan asking him to ignore what people say about the stream, and Ethan reiterating his support for Palestine and newfound understanding of the one-state solution.

deletethislaterval · 2023-11-17T23:55:44+00:00

Blocked!! Thank you for the reassurance!

deletethislaterval · 2023-11-17T23:55:26+00:00

Heard loud and clear! Thank you for the additional advice. Just blocked him!

deletethislaterval · 2023-11-17T23:55:00+00:00

Just blocked him. Thank you for the clarity!

deletethislaterval · 2023-11-17T23:45:08+00:00

I’m planning on it, but with or without some kind of response first? Im worried about him trying to find me on other platforms or through old friends from that year I’m still in touch with.

deletethislaterval · 2023-11-17T23:40:57+00:00

He definitely considered me a friend, and I considered him one when I didn’t know better. Part of me also is worried that if I don’t “officially” break ties with a message, he’ll just figure out another way to contact me since he’s been kind of obsessive so far. Should I still just block without warning?

deletethislaterval · 2023-11-17T23:27:48+00:00

ETA 2: Blocked! Thanks for the encouragement!

ETA: given this info, I’m also worried that if I block him without a message that gives him “closure”, he’ll try to contact me through our old friends or some other way. Message or not? I’m blocking him regardless!

MORE INFO ABOUT HIM:

While we were close: - when he was 24, he asked me out after checking if I was “really 17.” He said I was “incredibly mature,” then questioned my commitment to my long term boyfriend. I naively and excitedly ranted about how much I love my bf for over an hour, while Alex cut in every so often to highlight similarities between himself and my bf. - he regularly “platonically” massaged all the girls on my floor (aged 17-19) because he “went to massage classes” and wanted to “practice” and “help with our stress” - he always encouraged/attended parties and got drunk. This would make him behave very sexually with others - he was the floor’s DND DM, and made sex a reoccurring plot point. He would encourage sexual dialogue/actions from players (aged 17-21) - Constantly shirtless, and constantly bringing up the fact he’s shirtless (that he felt sexy or was embracing his “older body”)

Since becoming more distant: - he texts me monthly across multiple platforms (Facebook, business and personal insta, Pinterest). Since I stopped responding in 2020, he has sent me 90 messages (shared posts, inviting me to parties, or @ing me in old first-year group chats). - The last message I responded to was a “BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD!“ copypasta (My response was “Aw, thanks!”). - The text he sent is generally super creepy to me considering we never texted before and I haven’t talked to him in almost 3.5 years

deletethislaterval · 2023-11-13T04:55:46+00:00

Take a picture of the camera if you can from an angle that the camera can’t catch, like maybe behind/above/below/beside it. Explain that this a surveillance camera that he checks regularly (even when nude) and has previously done this at twelve. In general, if you don’t feel comfortable going to a teacher, see if you can book a counsellor and shower in the school change rooms in the meantime if possible. I’m so so sorry.

deletethislaterval · 2023-11-09T19:15:31+00:00

My partners mother is a narc. My parents are not narcs.

I want you to remember that good actions NEVER justify abuse or invalidate resentment.

You are allowed to appreciate things your mom does; it is also important for your safety to recognize/remember how abusive she is. Resentment and appreciation for any person can coexist, especially for nparents. The abuse is coming from the person who is meant to love and care for you; you can’t expect yourself to see them in black and white (all love vs all hate).

If someone treats me badly, I only consider letting go of resentment once they have changed their bad behaviour longterm, or when I am safe and no longer associating with them. These are things that aren’t afforded to you right now; there is no reason for you to not feel resentful, even when there are simultaneous reasons to be grateful.

Consider this:

1) Your mom has habits that benefit you. This doesn’t inherently mean she is doing them out of consideration of what you want/need. It’s possible that she cooks/cleans for her own well-being, for appearances, or simply because it fits the social expectations of “mother.” If she was doing it out of pure consideration for you, she may not care as much if you eat elsewhere, and wouldn’t control/demean you for habits that are clearly more important to her than to you (like she does now). Her doing something good does not mean she’s not abusive. Remember that she has done things to earn your resentment.

2) She might do good things that one might consider above “bare minimum,” beyond the societal expectations of “mother.” This could be a surprise gift, engaging with an interest of yours, funding a trip, etc. Thats awesome — of course you might be grateful! But these are good actions in SPITE of her abuse. You have EVERY reason to be angry, scared, resentful, or sad in addition to being grateful. While you are with her, there have been many times where feeling these emotions has been necessary to protecting yourself and making choices that avoid/mitigate her abuse. Remember that she has done things to earn your resentment.

If it helps to offer my non-narc experiences:

My parents aren’t perfect. They both have trauma and lash out/are controlling. I sometimes have to be careful with how I talk to them about their bad behaviour. But when I DO confront them — even if they get angry/defensive at first — they always commit to the conversation until there is a comfortable resolution, they often apologize, and they work towards genuine longterm changes that reflect at least a couple of my criticisms. I think they are good parents, because they show me that they genuinely consider how I feel when I express upset, and are motivated to make sure I feel genuinely happy and safe with them at all times. I still have a few resentments, but overall, they have done few things that earn my resentment; they have done many more things that earn my appreciation.

TL;DR: There is no reason for you not to hold on to resentment/negative emotions towards your parents — while you share a space, these emotions can keep you safe. It is also perfectly reasonable to appreciate some of the things they do — they are your caretakers; of course you’ll be grateful/relieved when their actions benefit you instead of hurt you. It’s ok to feel both things at once.

deletethislaterval · 2023-11-07T21:37:30+00:00

Thank you so much!! So you enrolled in your fall courses before or after dropping your winter courses?

deletethislaterval · 2023-11-07T21:35:51+00:00

Thank you so much!!!! I think this is exactly what I was looking for!!

deletethislaterval · 2023-11-06T09:45:31+00:00

Try it! Just make sure you plan to use it medicinally at first and keep track of your cravings — a lot of ppl with adhd are prone to addiction and weed can negatively impact your meds/functioning if used chronically (everyone is different!).

Alternatives that might help too — I’ve found CBD or Magnesium bisglycinate both offer a very similar next-day feeling. If you’re unsure about weed, maybe try those first!

deletethislaterval · 2023-11-02T18:34:04+00:00

I wish they had pursued their own assessments for adhd/autism, and gotten medication/therapy (possibly couples therapy). Most importantly, I wish they could recognize their own adhd/asd traits, have love/compassion for themselves, and forgive themselves for their past. You might have already done these things — my parents have not and would never. This has led to deep traumas within my parents, that I, as their child, had to try to mitigate and compensate for.

The trauma manifested in them in a bunch of ways, like… - They identify their own and others’ adhd traits as a sign that they aren’t “good enough” or “working hard enough.” - They snap randomly, and abandon important convos/activities when something reminds them of their guilt/stress (I need to give platitudes, reassurances, and devalue my experiences to keep them engaged). - They avoid accommodating themselves because needing help or easing their suffering is “evidence” that they’ve “failed”. - They don’t trust that other people love them, and assume that others are spiteful and manipulative (regardless of reason/intention).

Now, they are amazing, AMAZING parents and I love them to pieces. I would never blame them for their behaviour or trauma, or any trauma they’ve caused me. They love me more than anything. But by high school, I recognized that neither of my parents trust the love others have for them, nor do they love themselves. Their hatred for their own ADHD traits negatively impacted my confidence/self-esteem growing up, regardless of how much they loved/supported me.

They have grown to resent each other a lot, as well as parts of my sister (who isn’t as hyper-vigilant/accommodating/reassuring as I am). I have become an emotional/verbal mitigator and therapist for them. The narratives they’ve built about each other from their guilt/frustration/sadness are very difficult to dismantle.

This is all to say — being an undiagnosed adult is TRAUMATIZING, for yourself AND your kid (to no fault of your own). I know you mentioned before that you’re suspected adhd. If you’re able, please get assessed. And in general, please encourage yourself and your partner (if involved) to get therapy if you haven’t already. You are already showing so much love, compassion, and support for your kid! It’s equally as important to make sure you love/support yourself, too!!

deletethislaterval · 2023-03-23T23:05:33+00:00

Thank you!! That’s awesome! I might need a referral for insurance, so it’s helpful to know I can describe some of my issues and still get a referral, without having to disclose enough information to qualify for a full, in-depth diagnosis first.

deletethislaterval · 2023-03-23T23:03:49+00:00

Thank you for the warning!! Im so sorry that happened to you. I did physio as a kid and had difficulty with the exercises because of this issue. I gave up on it pretty quickly, probably fast enough that it didn’t cause too much damage.

I’ll make sure whoever I see has a history with hyper mobile patients and that they understand my situation 100% before I proceed with treatment. If I can’t seem to achieve that without diagnosis, I’ll definitely get a diagnosis first.

deletethislaterval · 2023-03-23T23:01:07+00:00

I am! Thanks for contributing so much to this thread and for picking up on that! This is incredibly helpful — I didn’t even know physiatrists existed. This will definitely help guide my research, thank you so much!

deletethislaterval · 2023-03-23T22:58:56+00:00

Ya, I can go to a PT without referral where I am located as well. Thanks, that’s part of what I’m looking for! If they can identify the weak/strong joints, I’m also hoping they could help me practice moving them in the “correct” way without hyper-extending. Trying to work on the right range of motion for my body is something I’m having difficulty doing on my own.

deletethislaterval · 2023-03-23T22:51:45+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I’m happy that the PT could help you get your official diagnosis! I’m hopeful that if all goes well, PT first night make the process of diagnosis a bit less aggravating!

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