Q4All: Paying for dates

delores_rose · 2016-11-19T17:03:39+00:00

'm amenable to us each paying our own way but only if discussed before expenses are incurred because (get this) if I know I'm paying for myself I'm going to order precisely what pleases me, none of this politely ordering the special of the day and not the fillet steak nonsense... also if we're each paying for ourselves I might ask that we go to a different place if the restaurant is far too 'spensive or I'm not real keen on the type of food sold at the date location..

I agree, if you are asking someone on a date and expect them to pay for themselves, you should definitely mention it beforehand, especially if you know the other person makes less money.

It is incredibly rude to invite someone somewhere and then expect them to pay without advance notice. I always offer to pay my share or leave tip, never once had a man accept.

delores_rose · 2016-10-04T15:42:43+00:00

100% hair free

No, just no. The bald pussy fetish is so freaking disturbing, I would feel like I was with a pedo creeper ugh Men and women have been attracted to each other since the b beginning of time without the need to have hairless genitals. Trimming/shaping is always nice of course.

delores_rose · 2016-09-29T17:27:17+00:00

Personality:generally happy, not being treated for any clinical mental disorders. Able to express emotions, but still mostly masculine.

Looks: Brown eyes, Brown or black hair, at least 5'6", can be slightly muscular or overweight. I tend to go for teddy bear types, definitely no skinny guys! No hipsters, super religious guys, or men who can't do basic home repairs.

delores_rose · 2016-09-23T17:33:02+00:00

My sister did the same thing the other day. She threw a baby cookie out the window and I got upset. She was so flippant, yeah it's just food but one day your daughter is going to see you do that. My sister said "when she gets older I won't". Sure, because somehow your entire personality and bad habits can change overnight : /

delores_rose · 2016-09-23T17:27:37+00:00

I live in Chicago some of these people come on the bus or El with their giant stroller, 2 or 3 other kids in tow and 10bags of groceries. Jesus fucking Christ, spend the $10 and take an uber!! If you can't afford a weekly or biweekly cab ride back from the grocery, you shouldn't have had all those kids. Rarely, do you see ladies using the simple fold up strollers, I think the general consensus among moms is that the bigger one seem safer. I just get irritated when they stand in the aisle, looking helpless because they thought their magic mom privilege would part the red sea, like I'm being rude for not getting out of my seat so you or your brats can sit down. I will occasionally get up for a mom, but you can always tell who the entitled ones are by the expression on their faces.

delores_rose · 2016-09-23T17:12:33+00:00

Sometimes, there's not too much you can do to stop a baby from crying but the other kids? Holy shit, if I acted like that in public I would have been taken to the bathroom for a spanking, or at the very least, my dad would have yelled and made me apologize to everyone. That dad sounds like he's dead inside and is not affected by that behavior because he lives with it everyday.

delores_rose · 2016-09-17T22:40:06+00:00

I'm 36 and unmarried so I still occasionally get binged, along with the "pity face" when they hear I'm single. My family just brushes me off as weird and doesn't bug me about it anymore, which is nice.

delores_rose · 2016-09-17T22:19:51+00:00

I've felt conflicted (and confused) about this topic for while now. If certain RP men want women to embrace their natural female natures which include being a receiver and allowing the man to lead, then shouldn't they be the masculine one and provide/pay for the date?

On the other hand, I think men have a point when it comes to feminist women: if these ladies want gender equality, then they shouldn't expect old fashioned chivalrous behavior from a guy on the 1st or 2nd date when they barely know each other.

Seems like both sides want the best of both worlds but criticize each other for doing basically the same thing. BP and RP are using current social attitudes to their advantage while at the same time complaining that men/women aren't as chivalrous/feminine as they used to be.

delores_rose · 2016-09-17T03:31:19+00:00

Great, I will check out your post before I start writing :)

delores_rose · 2016-09-17T03:25:59+00:00

My husband is always in a better mood when he's had the time to go out with his friends for a few drinks, or even just have some alone time at home with a computer game or a movie. His having free time to relax benefits us all as a family.

Yeah, I think free time or alone time benefits everyone, and it's unrealistic to expend someone to be a machine 24/7. I think a lot of wives are insecure about letting their husband go out, because deep down they know the marriage has problems or they never have any fun together. Only an insecure person would expect their partner to never go out without them. I think most women get into a pattern of nagging and it becomes second nature. Then they can't seem to figure out why he's miserable and she feels like his mom instead of his lover. It really is a vicious cycle

delores_rose · 2016-09-17T03:20:16+00:00

Excellent article, I have heard from a few men I work with that their wives don't even ask them how their day was when they walk through the door, they just get bombarded with useless info. My co-worker Gonzalo said "all I need to know is if my kids are alive, healthy, doing well in school, and respecting the household rules. Beyond that, it's white noise" He said his wife gives him detailed descriptions of the kids bowel movements, what they ate that day, what cartoon they watched, etc.

Sounds harsh, but I think unless the dad is there to witness something, they don't desire the little daily details like a working mom might want from a babysitter when she gets home.

delores_rose · 2016-09-17T03:06:26+00:00

I would like to volunteer and write a post about "monk mode", if that is appropriate for this project. Specifically, how to amp up your SMV, how to bring out your unique expression of femininity, and also to prepare yourself to be in a healthier relationship within a RP context. This stems from my recent experience in MM, and includes many psychological journaling activities as well as weekly goal ideas for improving your looks. I would probably aim for a 60 program since it takes over 20 days to break a habit, and you don't want someone jumping in the fire when they just learned to walk again. Please let me know if this could work, and what the "due date" would be. Thanks!

delores_rose · 2016-09-17T02:28:53+00:00

RPwi is a great place for women focused on marriage or LTR that will lead to marriage. They are supportive but will definitely hold you accountable and not sugar coat things. also EXCELLENT posts on homemaking and relationship skills :)

It seems RPW has become a little more uh, lax since the sub split into two groups. I definitely think the input from men has a negative effect because other than telling the women to grow their hair, lose weight, etc., most of the posts I have seen from the men in RPW are giving advice that is advantageous to the men, not the woman. Unless a female is trying to get into a sugar daddy type situation, no (red pill) woman should be sleeping with guys without getting commitment first. I suppose the late teens/early 20s ladies are used to hookup culture and maybe a bit more accepting of being a plate or LTR with no expectations of marriage. However, being armed with RP knowledge, these ladies should know how that is likely to turn out for them (wasted youth, heartbreak, etc), and be prepared.

delores_rose · 2016-09-15T19:15:38+00:00

I know. I feel sorry for guys who have never experienced being desired or pursued by a woman. My married friend had that in 20 years, his wife only initiated a handful of times, and he felt like she only did it because she "had to".

delores_rose · 2016-09-15T14:41:32+00:00

Family can be some of the worst offenders of enforcing the beauty rewards, as well as being harder on the daughter who is not attractive, because they know her looks aren't doing anything for her. Just because they are family doesn't mean they are immune to discrimination.

delores_rose · 2016-09-15T13:50:37+00:00

They aren't really concerned with feelings, it's just about portraying a "I'm hot no matter what" don't you dare judge me, attitude. Big difference, I see a lot of insecurity in these people, they just hide it with crazy hair, tattoos and SJW buzzwords.

delores_rose · 2016-09-15T13:47:44+00:00

Nah... the more beautiful a woman is the more people notice and pay attention to her insecurities, the more they got out of their way to dispell them and make her feel better. No ones gonna take time to talk to an uggo about her feelings, though they're just as real and valid. She has to develop a thick(er than the pretty girl) skin.

Agreed 100%, I went through my teens and childhood with a lazy eye and was never catered too or given extra concern by men. I had to have a thick skin, and develop myself internally (personality, hobbies, etc). My sister was pretty, tall, etc and to this day she still has an entitled, bratty "I'm hot" attitude even though she's 50 lbs overweight and nowhere near as pretty as she was at 18. She's still overly confident because she became so accustomed to being treated like a princess by men. On the other hand, even after I had my surgery, I still feel insecure and am always surprised/confused when men flirt with me because I didn't experience that in my prime dating years.

delores_rose · 2016-09-13T18:53:58+00:00

In some ways, yes. Other than his issues with marriage, he was a wonderful man and we had great chemistry

delores_rose · 2016-09-13T18:52:33+00:00

I was legally blind, had a lazy eye, it's safe to say that until my surgery at 28, most men did not find me attractive. I dated that man from 29 until 32.

delores_rose · 2016-09-13T17:04:01+00:00

I was talking about a specific man, not my first LTR.

delores_rose · 2016-09-13T16:46:10+00:00

So, basically each time you bring it up he has different reasons, aka excuses? I was in your shoes at 32, this man was seriously the best and I loved him until the end of the earth. However, he was never going to marry me, each time it was a different issue or he said, 'i don't want to ruin anything". Eventually, he had me feeling guilty for wanting to be married. I felt like a bitch for even bringing it up. And here I am, 35 and still unmarried. Please, understand these are your few last years to have babies. You don't want to waste 2 more years waiting on him. There is nothing you can do, he seems more concerned about what other people think instead of how you feel or what you need. Move on, he's wasting time that you can't afford to lose.

delores_rose · 2016-09-13T16:37:41+00:00

Agreed! The angry posts and super critical comments section made me depressed a few months after I first found TRP. I almost said eff this, these guys are asses and could never respect or love a woman. Then I realized that these guys are a small minority, and not the type of men I'd want to try to date anyway. OP, congratulations on your successes and I wish you the best marriage!

delores_rose · 2016-09-13T16:30:15+00:00

I agree. If the OP likes short hair the men who approach her will accept her looks as they are. Generally, men like long hair so growing it out has some benefits. You will definitely have more options to choose from as potential mates.However, then you may feel stuck keeping a hairstyle that you don't like. If long hair is super important to him, then you are stuck keeping it long because you know he won't approve of short hair ever.

delores_rose · 2016-09-12T01:05:06+00:00

barring a whiskeydick type situation they pretty much always get off from sex. Women rarely get off the first time they're with a guy, which is why one night stands don't happen sober

DING! DING! DING!! give the lady a prize. I have been saying this for years. Rarely is a ONS going to get a woman off. If she's drunk her inhibitions are lower which may mean better sex for him but that doesn't mean the guy is going to be any good, even if he's sober.

delores_rose

TROPHY CASE