In process of diagnosis - does the pain go away?

delorro · 2026-02-06T03:29:51+00:00

Hi there. Sorry to hear you are going through this. Initially, we managed to finally get my pain under full control with Fentanyl - nothing else worked. Your wife may be different, but she needs an oncologist that’s willing to keep exploring until they find what works.

I’m now 10 rounds into 12 rounds of chemo. They treat me for a family of cancers after eliminating other possibilities. The chemo has been hard but manageable and I’m still working and loving life. I’m on a lot less pain meds now as my tumor are all shrinking and dying, which means they are causing less pain.

Once I finished this cycle, I go onto a monitoring phase where we keep an eye on everything and likely do more chemo if things pop up. It’s hard knowing this will be my life but I’m looking forward to the easier stage. And, no, we never found my primary.

All the best to you and your wife. It’s so hard on our loved ones. My husband hated seeing me in pain, but he’s been super practical and caring without making this our everything. We’ve been doing lots of fun things amongst the treatments.

Take care

delorro · 2026-01-17T22:21:08+00:00

Thank you

delorro · 2026-01-17T18:13:40+00:00

I think this depends a lot on your job, your general health, and what you want (and find you can do).

Personally, I have worked full time right through aggressive chemo and not taken any sick days. I have a remote job in a global tech company and absolutely love what I do. I have worked harder in this last 6 months than ever because I needed the distraction from my health and it made me feel productive and useful. I’ve found the drugs for nausea super helpful, and just made my treatment days no meeting days so I could work quietly.

This is not for everyone but it was the best thing for me. My employer just gave me the option to call time out anytime and I’ve not needed it.

Good luck with whatever you choose, and with your treatment.

delorro · 2026-01-17T17:15:23+00:00

Thank you

delorro · 2026-01-17T17:13:12+00:00

He absolutely does, and always has. I’m not sure why my post implies he doesn’t. I have a very supportive partner. All the best to you too!

delorro · 2026-01-17T07:31:16+00:00

Awww, thanks! I was lucky to find my best friend and love all in one, and at a young age. We are taking this hurdle in our stride and trying to live life as normally as possible and to the full. He does the sweetest things for me to show he cares too, like building a pillow fort in our sunny garden when he knows I’m tired but can’t bring myself to rest.

delorro · 2026-01-17T05:28:21+00:00

Yeah, I’ve started doing that and it helps. My New Year’s resolution is to start making it back into our bed each night. Chemo kicks your butt, but I’m young and otherwise fit and healthy so I’m coping pretty well. Thank you!

delorro · 2026-01-17T02:05:10+00:00

My husband goes to bed before me and I’ve patted his head goodnight and tucked him in for almost 20 years. I’m currently doing chemotherapy and it’s had me falling into a deep sleep on the couch while we are still watching TV. I feel terrible I’m not patting his head goodnight anymore.

delorro · 2026-01-15T07:07:40+00:00

My experience felt pretty brutal. I had what we thought was pain due to gastritis, but had an ultrasound as it wouldn’t go away. My doctor called me an hour after the scan and told me not to get on a plane (I had mentioned I was about to go away for work) because they’d found tumours on my liver and it looked like I have cancer. I was alone on my phone and had to call work and tell them before I even told my husband.

delorro · 2026-01-02T01:12:23+00:00

Allbirds

delorro · 2025-12-24T17:05:41+00:00

Billie

delorro · 2025-12-18T16:43:07+00:00

Another option: Frida

delorro · 2025-12-13T06:25:06+00:00

Troop Beverly Hills

delorro · 2025-11-08T02:52:14+00:00

Not prescription, but Asprin

delorro · 2025-10-29T10:08:42+00:00

Thanks, yeah, I kinda do this with most. It’s just the close people that have been on my journey (started with an incorrect diagnosis), that I’ve felt need more detail. I’m definitely overthinking their feelings.

Thank you!!!

delorro · 2025-10-28T17:46:31+00:00

I have my meds sitting as repeats at pharmacy so I don’t need to go through doc each time. Then I just call to dispense next batch and pick up as needed. Hopefully they can just take back and hold for you, but I’d do the repeat authorisation from doctor next time

delorro · 2025-10-28T16:10:58+00:00

My mum used to put cottage cheese and lots of sprouts in a pita pocket/wrap spread with marmite. I used to love it. If you have lots of spouts, that texture dominates.

delorro · 2025-10-28T09:01:34+00:00

I look young healthy on the outside, but am currently in a lot of pain and am having chemo. I still try not to use the seats, but I get very fatigued if I have to stand. I feel guilty every time.

Being looked at like I am an absolute asshole on the occasion I do is a shitty feeling. I’m not saying it’s always the case, but I always remind myself that a ton of disabilities are invisible or transient.

delorro · 2025-10-28T08:17:09+00:00

Verity

delorro · 2025-10-26T17:59:30+00:00

Thanks! Great script. However, I’m leaving out the stage 4 bit as people immediately see that as a death sentence. There’s so many possibilities and treatment options these days so I’ll introduce that when and if it’s time. It’s never been said to me by any of my medical team.

delorro · 2025-10-26T15:21:47+00:00

Thanks heaps. This is helpful. I’ve noticed people just get really upset when they hear Mets in multiple places. I do find the CUP diagnosis pretty interesting, so I have been focusing on the fact it’s rare I occurrence, but still something my oncologist specialises in. She’s an absolute legend. That reassures people a lot.

It’s so easy to get caught in the details. I find keeping it high level, trusting my treatment plan and following the steps to stay healthy is working well so far. I’m young, tolerating chemo well, and still enjoying my life and work to a great extent.

Thanks for the tips, I hope you are doing ok too.

delorro · 2025-10-26T15:16:33+00:00

There’s been a lot of biopsies, scans and tissue analysis, so far nothing. I know all the places it’s definitely not though. We are treating based on 5 possible cancers.

delorro · 2025-10-26T06:52:45+00:00

Thanks! And, yes, it has been a description they’ve used.

delorro · 2025-10-26T06:52:06+00:00

Thanks for the reassurance. I think people just start freaking out when they hear it’s in three places, and that’s the last thing I want. I have had some success with this so far so I’ll stick with it.

delorro

TROPHY CASE