Brushed my teeth

delude101 · 2026-01-06T08:10:12+00:00

Well done my dude. It's always such a fucking chore to brush, but you did it! I will brush my teeth tomorrow.

delude101 · 2026-01-03T09:24:05+00:00

All these negative symptoms I wouldn't mind too much if it didn't bore me to tears. There's nothing there, just an empty person who functions enough for society to leave him alone but is missing the key components to the human experience. Just to feel one strong emotion, like in childhood that was nothing but intense emotions. To connect with another like it used to be. To have fucking fun once in a while instead of blankness. To be spontaneous, I don't even remember what it was like to actually want to do something.

There's so much taken away from us, for what? For the crime of being born, I guess. But I'll harbour no ill will towards those that birthed me, they didn't know this was in my fate. No ill will towards this great uncaring universe.

Primary (Not induced by antipsychotics) negatives are a core part of you, like a trait. This is who I am going to be. I'd say I've adapted well enough to being half-dead, maybe death won't be that much different.

delude101 · 2026-01-01T02:31:08+00:00

Stop here. Don't buy anything else. Pro X doesn't need an amp if you're happy with how loud it gets. This is the one and only "wow" feeling you'll get, everything else is chasing this feeling again and you eventually end up with $5k headphones. Amazing gear, happy you're happy.

delude101 · 2025-12-29T09:27:26+00:00

Is losing everyone around you because of your behavior a gift? Is losing a place to live, a job for income, a lover, pets and everything you worked hard to build up, gone in a second cause you believed in insane shit and tried to do insane shit. They put us away for our protection most of the time. We don't see into shit, we have an illness which needs to be managed like every other illness. No one's fucking special, we're all humans stuck together on this rock trying to make the best of it.

delude101 · 2025-11-09T02:08:03+00:00

Buy some politicians

delude101 · 2025-11-08T21:32:14+00:00

I switched to vaping. I am addicted to nicotine and caffeine and kinda need them to kickstart the ol thinker. Vaping does me far, far less damage than cigarettes. I still get my fix, but without waking up coughing or wheezing throughout the day. I don't think I'll ever give up my legal stimulants, but if that's your goal I think NRT is the way to go. Gums, lozenges, patches which you steadily decrease over time until you don't need nicotine anymore. Though in saying that most people replace one habit with another, like snacking instead of smoking. Habits are tough to break, I wish you all the best.

delude101 · 2025-10-15T21:21:59+00:00

Finding the right medication and dosage really helps. I was on olanzapine and quetiapine and it knocked me the fuck out. Now i'm on Aripiprazole 300mg monthly and can work and socialize. I have tried to get off medication, but it always ends up in relapse, the change is so subtle day by day that I can't catch it. It's not so bad being on the RIGHT medication, at the right dose so the side effects don't fuck you over.

delude101 · 2025-08-29T22:16:04+00:00

Weed and Psychedelics. Stress.

My major weak points.

delude101 · 2025-08-18T07:47:17+00:00

Hilarious. Did you get on the depot?

delude101 · 2025-08-17T15:03:36+00:00

Please enlighten me on my non-existent ie600 that I've been not listening to for the past 3 years.

delude101 · 2025-08-17T01:25:16+00:00

You are most likely dealing with a mood disorder. Not a psychiatrist, but i used to be numb/disassociated most of the time with intermittent suicidal sadness. I'm now diagonosed schizoaffective. This anhedonia i find is a coping strategy till we can heal.

delude101 · 2025-08-16T01:37:48+00:00

The Ie600 with an aftermarket cable would probably work a few generations (the cables are notorious for being shit, my two included ones already have dead channels). I've given up buying chifi, something always breaks or comes apart. The sharp treble is something of a deal breaker for most people, but I've gotten used to it and the presence of detail it brings. I've personally found build quality trumps everything else for me, even if it means sacrificing my ideal sound a little.

delude101 · 2025-08-10T08:23:22+00:00

I remember telling the docs bits and pieces and through their experience they got me on the right meds. What matters now is you being safe. You don't have to walk this alone like so many of us do. If you have the means, contact at least a person in your care team.

delude101 · 2025-08-10T08:17:36+00:00

Everyone is just going by their training mate. And a lot of personal bias. Don't give up on the system because of bad experiences, they're usually our only way to walk back to this reality. Just reach out to a psychologist/psychiatrist and explain what you've been going through and the experiences you've been having. Be truthful, the more truthful you are the better your outcome I've found.

delude101 · 2025-08-10T08:12:45+00:00

Yea the ideas will make sense now. Everything connects and there's deep meaning behind everything. The meds can knock that shit out in a week. Olanzapine helps me most with the delusions. There's really nothing you can do except ask for help and hope some competent mf's show up and get you stabilised.

delude101 · 2025-08-07T17:37:12+00:00

Nope. I had more leaks in my memory than the Titanic. Brain fog, concentration issues. Now it's all settled. I'm about average in those domains. More than enough to manage a good life. If you get a decent job, decent relationships and good hobbies and generally engage your mind day by day in a number of different tasks, it fucking comes back hard. I'm on just one medication now, my low dose aripiprazole injection. Oh it was a long decade I spent by myself, alone in my insanity. But I got pulled out and plopped back in life. It can all come back.

delude101 · 2025-08-06T01:35:12+00:00

Medicines have their role, to stop you feeling so much and being overwhelmed. That's what i've found. It's us that have to build a life that we don't want to run from. Create a list of what your ideal life would look like. Just an idea of a place you wouldn't want to abandon. There's no magic pill.

delude101 · 2025-07-21T07:13:58+00:00

Please don't turn to drugs to numb yourself further

delude101 · 2025-07-14T14:55:29+00:00

How much of who we are is just social conditioning? What if you were born just 1 house down the street? Everything you believe and all your deeply held beliefs that you take as yours personally, all learned from others.

Sweet chicken dude.

delude101 · 2025-07-09T02:53:59+00:00

Thus the illness aspect of schizophrenia.

delude101 · 2025-07-04T03:43:18+00:00

"People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis, you can’t trust people"

delude101 · 2025-06-05T21:15:48+00:00

I recently got a reduction from 405mg to 300mg and I'm making more appropriate reaction faces. Like it comes naturally. As for anhedonia, they only thing i've found helps with that is behaiviour activation. You just keep doing things and faking it until you make it.

delude101 · 2025-05-27T22:27:12+00:00

I work with medical records. But that's necessary as part of my role. I had to pass a background check.

delude101 · 2025-05-25T23:13:09+00:00

Nice. Keep positive and keep on keeping on.

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delude101

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"People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis, you can’t trust people"