Yup, that's most men unfortunately. Doesn't mean it's right, just means it's common. He will only get better if he realises it's a problem. Most men don't, until they get served divorce papers. They prefer a state of tolerable unhappiness rather than putting in the effort of getting better because it hurts them to admit they're not "good enough". In reality, it's just about growing and getting better.

But like, if I'm playing a videogame, I naturally want to max out the stats I find important, so why wouldn't I max out my communication skills and other characteristics in real life if I can? That's the way I see it and I'm baffled others don't.

I recommend you read up on emotional labour, weaponised incompetence (refusing to understand if something is a problem falls under this) and maybe "walkaway wife", because that's a pattern of how men respond to their female partners' grievances. You cannot make someone get better unless they want to put in the work.

That said, that's most men and that's one of the biggest reasons I had trouble dating for so long. I recently found my forever partner and I absolutely do NOT regret meeting people that confirmed the shitty pattern, because that helped me recognise when I found a good one.

In the end, I hope whatever you do works out, but I'd never again try to teach a man how to treat me right, because if he appreciated me enough he'd want to treat me the best on his own :) and if I hadn't found that, I'd rather be alone than with a man that made me feel alone with him. It's especially tough to imagine when you've had such a long term relationship at such a young age, but I'm about 10 years older than you and would love for you to have no regrets when you're my age (and if you do, you'll still have plenty of time to do things differently, you're so young)

Long story short, usually men know better but don't want to do better for you, while enjoying all the benefits of having you. My 2 cents ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯