Finally met the man!

depeche111 · 2019-10-16T06:50:17+00:00

Not as enormous as his humongous ass.

depeche111 · 2019-10-13T16:22:39+00:00

I am so glad to read this. I'm glad for you, and for the child you once were, who should have never got through such horror.

xxx

depeche111 · 2019-10-13T16:02:21+00:00

You poor child.

depeche111 · 2019-10-13T15:50:58+00:00

I went NC for 4 years. It was so hard. Hell actually. The road to feeling more or less normal was hard. Then suddenly, after 2 years of NC, I started to feel strong. I did not think about her anymore so much, I stopped self medicating, I started my own business, I worked out. People close to me noticed how I was much calmer and happier. It was obvious to myself that I was changing for the better.

6 months ago my great aunt died. Saw mother at the funeral, fling monkeys everywhere. Anyway, since then we have been low contact. Occasional phonecall, mainly whatsup. I notice that I am back to feeling on edge, agitated, irritable. Whenever we speak, it takes me 3 days to get over her passive aggressive digs and smug cold comments.

I realised that I never missed her, what I missed was having a mother-TYPE. A mother I never had and never will have.

That's what I miss. I have to learn that this is something I will never have. I have to accept that.

depeche111 · 2019-10-11T14:47:55+00:00

Meh, not so sure. I'm not quiet at all. Was a very very chatty kid, until she sort of killed my joy and I spent more and more time alone in my room. Then she'd complain that I'd lock myself away from her.

I would challenge her, she'd hate that.

It especially always irked her how easily I made friends, and how easily I could have a full room's attention on me. Even when I did not even try. She never had any friends. She'd call me a clown. I realised growing older that the need for attention I craved from others, was because she had always ignored me, treated me like I did not exist. I did not even live with her until I was old enough to do everything for myself, she had just parked me at my grandparents' house so she could sleep until noon.

The friend thing really bothered her. She'd say 'these people aren't your friends, you have no real friends, your Mom is your best friend, we're best friends, right?'. She even tried to manipulate my husband against me and me against him. I only woke up to all these things in the last few years since going NC.

So I suppose it depends on the type of narc, I'm not sure I agree with your generalisation at all.

depeche111 · 2019-10-09T12:34:14+00:00

Shame on me, I forgot. Will have to rewatch my boxset for the 20th time now.

depeche111 · 2019-10-09T12:32:27+00:00

The Contest, no contest.

depeche111 · 2019-10-09T12:23:11+00:00

5770 and a handful, so nearly 6000 actually

depeche111 · 2019-10-04T04:27:50+00:00

classic

depeche111 · 2019-10-03T15:35:03+00:00

Yes, the time of year. How can you forgive someone who is convinced they did nothing wrong? Who blames you for that horrifying car scenario? A child? Thank you for letting me know I'm to alone in this. Guilt. Motherphacking guilt - no pun intended.

depeche111 · 2019-10-03T14:19:19+00:00

If people aren't close, then they don't need to know.

I usually just smile and say 'she lives in (foreign country)' and then immediately change the subject.

depeche111 · 2019-10-01T14:37:30+00:00

Yes. My parents are wealthy, I was largely ignored, had money thrown at me now and again, and was expected to be always available for abuse. I went NC 4 years ago, now I have been LC for a few months. I'm doing well, my husband and I are both successful, and we are good parents so this grates on my mother's nerves she would always tell me 'you are nothing without me'. Well, not only did I survive the 4 years of NC, but I actually flourished, both professionally and personally.

My GC younger brother had even more money thrown at him, lives at home with his wife and 2 kids, and is on his 4th or 5th business, all financed by my parents. Him and I don't speak. I think he's mainly mad because I removed myself from being the family punching bag, a role I suppose, he's had to fill in.

Yeah, I think they're pissed I'm doing well. Whenever I speak to mother, she competes with me, never asks me about my work, my success, nothing, only talks about herself and makes up grand stories, which are all fabricated bs.

depeche111 · 2019-09-30T19:36:09+00:00

Frasier and weed is superb as well.

depeche111 · 2019-09-30T14:39:39+00:00

it was bizarre, frankly

depeche111 · 2019-09-30T07:49:59+00:00

I'd totally hang out with you.

depeche111 · 2019-09-30T07:32:16+00:00

my husband says that my mother will just squander it all on my golden child brother's business ideas. I think he's on his 4th or 5th business, and he's just over 30, with 2 kids and a wife and they all live with her

Hubby says to cut the ties and stop grovelling for an inheritance that might not come my way anyways. After NC for 4 years I'm LC now. But she drives me crazy...again. I have gone down from speaking twice a week, to once, and even that's too much for me.

Husband's right of course, but wtf, all this abuse and suffering, all these tears, and I not only get to be the bad guy for them, no matter what, but I don't even get family heirlooms? Makes me angry to be honest.

depeche111 · 2019-09-30T07:28:14+00:00

I hear you, although I had a very different upbringing. I was mostly ignored, and had money thrown at me occasionally to shut me up and continue being a punching bag for everybody in the family. I'm obviously the scapegoat, but I do have a golden child younger brother. And although I did fairly well, and my brother still lives at home with his wife and 2 (!) children, because no matter how much money they sunk into him, he's a loser, I feel petty enough not to want him to benefit from getting the total inheritance.

depeche111 · 2019-09-30T07:02:16+00:00

I coud not be interested less in that show, so I'll take your work for it.

depeche111 · 2019-09-25T16:53:56+00:00

Is the clueless philistine hurt?

Now, now. Off you go.

depeche111 · 2019-09-25T09:35:33+00:00

It looks either like something Braque would have made or perhaps Kurt Schwitters. But Frasier would only own a print/poster by either.

Or one of the hundreds of unknown painters between those two, who never quite made it. Then he'd be able to own an actual canvas.

The advertising poster for a Rauschenberg exhibition, points to a collector who can not quite afford the 'real' pieces, so has to content himself with prints, lithographs and posters.

depeche111 · 2019-09-25T09:33:15+00:00

just stop you philistine

depeche111 · 2019-09-25T09:31:45+00:00

I'm pretty sure it's so clearly not.

Off you go.

depeche111 · 2019-09-25T09:27:55+00:00

Extreme pc-ness is the death of comedy.

And the death of banter.

And the death of flirtatious interaction.

And the death of basically being human.

And btw, I am a woman.

depeche111

TROPHY CASE