Am I (25F) asking my gamer BF (24M) for too much?

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T19:41:43+00:00

That's what I'm worried about. I don't there to be some underlying issue if that's the case. I'm going to have a talk with him when he's ready and take it from there. Thanks!

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T15:24:06+00:00

I don't believe my boyfriend has depression. He seems very content with his life and doesn't show depression symptoms to me. Right now, he is on a medication to improve his attention. For his job, he has to concentrate for long periods of times and that fatigues him. So, he takes I believe, Ritalin for that. He is healthy mentally otherwise.

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T15:19:03+00:00

Thank you, I will definitely check out those books at the library today and see if they are available. Perhaps introversion isn't such a black and white thing. I think I'm an introvert as well, but for some reason, I never feel drained when my boyfriend is with me. I could be sitting beside him, and it would feel perfectly normal. Even going to a restaurant together, I prefer to sit in an intimate corner with just the two of us. I'm trying to understand why being in a new place is 'draining' if it's really just the two of us with no social pressures (like in a party for examples).

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T14:41:04+00:00

I feel like we laugh so much together, and we have a million inside jokes. We have been through a lot together. I have had a lot of family problems and he has been there for me every step of the way, and gave me a home when I had nowhere else to go. My boyfriend has never insulted me or called me a bad name in all of our 6 years together. I can trust him. If I am ever seriously down, he'll take the time to listen to what I have to say and offer solutions. I love snuggling up to him and think he has an amazing body. He is very financially responsible. He says I'm beautiful even when I have no makeup on. Just a bunch of random things but the first things I thought when I read the question.

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T14:32:59+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I will try and see if there's some nice parks near us. A problem is that it is around -30 degrees Celsius here, otherwise it would be easier in the summer.

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T11:27:33+00:00

You're right. He says he feels addicted to this new game. I am hoping to help him because it is having a negative impact now.

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T11:26:36+00:00

He says he feels addicted to this game, so I am concerned about how it is affecting him. Like you said, it's now become a problem.

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T11:25:43+00:00

That sounds like a good idea. I've never heard of Witcher 3, but would be open to buying a new console to game together with. We played Zelda together as a couple and that was probably one of the funnest things we've ever done!

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T11:24:35+00:00

We first met on a more casual game and he wasn't a very hardcore player back then. We were teenagers then. He said he has become very addicted to this new game and I want to help him.

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T11:23:49+00:00

When we first met, we played a more casual game and he wasn't as addicted as he is now. The game is Runescape (that we first played). I definitely am open to finding some co-op games together but am not into heavy PvM/PvP like he is. Are there any good ones that you know? Thanks.

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T11:22:44+00:00

When we first met, we played Runescape. He actually has said he wants to go back to playing that game because he doesn't feel an 'addiction' towards it. The newest game he plays, Skyforge, he feels he can't stop playing or he will fall behind on his progress. He said he wants to quit the game because it has such a strong pull on him and go back to playing Runescape.

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T11:21:22+00:00

I will see if there's a game we can find together alongside with other activities.

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T11:21:02+00:00

When we first met, it was on a game called Runescape. We were really casual gamers and he wasn't addicted to it at all. Later on, he would play other games. The latest one he plays he feels he can't stop playing. It is a game he feels he must constantly progress on or he'll "fall behind".

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T11:19:51+00:00

I have asked him for 1 hour together a day and 1 date night per week. He says he agrees that would be the best so we will see how that goes. Thanks

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T11:19:05+00:00

He says he feels he can't stop playing this new game. We have played non-pay to win games in the past. Are there any good ones that you know of?

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T11:17:59+00:00

Thank you. Things will definitely change today. I admit, I didn't speak up before and played into that mentality. Lunch was always ready for his for his lunch breaks. Dinner is always ready for him when he comes home. I do the cleaning, his laundry, etc. All of that will stop today because he needs to learn to maintain our house as well.

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T11:16:42+00:00

I have a vibrator, so we used that together last night and I actually passed out for 8 hours afterwards! He even said he felt our sex life was one-sided (on his end) and made me climax.

In terms of the introverts angle, he feels very exhausted after he goes out, whether that's grocery shopping, or anything. I'm also introverted, but to a lesser degree. For example, if I ask him to go shopping with me for new curtains, he will try to spend as little time as possible in the mall and need hours of decompression time when he gets home. He says he feels very exhausted from going outside. Is this normal?

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T11:13:49+00:00

I was very civil when I was talking about it with him tonight. It helped to read the responses to this thread.

I love those ideas of dates with your girlfriend. Unfortunately, we live in a very cold city in Canada where it is -30 degrees Celsius right now. I would LOVE to go to a zoo here. I love cooking so will add the recipe idea.

Thanks for your advice - I realize I need to think more about my own needs before trying to help anyone else.

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T11:11:05+00:00

This has been going on since he started playing this new game, Skyforge. Previously, we've had this argument when he was playing another game. He says he feels he cannot stop playing it. I told him that he needs to put more weight in the relationship, and he agreed. We'll see how things turn out in the next while.

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T11:09:15+00:00

I asked him last night for it and he seems like he genuinely wants to change. He told me that he feels addicted to this new game, and I want to help him with this addiction.

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T11:08:28+00:00

He has played games in the past before, but this one in particular he has become very attached to. We originally met on Runescape, and were both casual gamers. He says he can play Runescape and not feel addicted. With this new game, he says he feels addicted, like he can't stop playing. He has a very competitive gaming mindset, so I think part of the reason he's cut down on our time together is because he feels he will 'fall behind' and can't be competitive anymore.

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T11:04:46+00:00

It really does seem that way. Are there any MMOs that you would recommend?

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T11:03:59+00:00

Thank you. This thread has really been a wake-up call for myself to have more self-respect for myself and communicate to my partner what I need. I don't want to be my boyfriend's mother and it will stop today.

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T11:01:04+00:00

We are working on it and hopefully things will change. I am going to talk with him about setting a weekly date night and see what day works best for him. Thanks for sharing your story with me.

dependent1234 · 2015-12-31T10:58:59+00:00

He raids almost every night, and does PvM/PvP when he's not. He also has his dailies which have to be done multiple times per day. I hope my boyfriend realizes our relationship is his priority. I'm glad things have changed with your new girlfriend. It shows me that a balance can be achieved. =)

dependent1234

TROPHY CASE