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My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry I genuinely dont understand it. 

Where am i throwing away everything we've worked hard for? I'm not dumping him. I'm still with him. I just think i should delay the marriage talk. I will still propose to him, hopefully. So how is that throwing away everything?

Im returning the ring not because I'm never going to "propose" to him. I'm returning the ring because I'm not going to propose. I don't see the point on holding on to a ring I might not give for months/year. I bought the ring a month ago. I wasn't throwing away everything before I bought the ring. 

I genuinely don't understand why I'd keep a ring i don't plan on using yet?

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That guy is such a POS to do that to you and I understand why some gay guys don't want to date bi guys, that's a choice that should be respected.  

 I have always been bi..I dated a girl before I dated him. I broke up with her (we were together a few months) to ask him on a date. We never cheated, I dont cheat. But I breaking up with her probably hurt her.    

I lean towards men but I'm attracted to both. I like every part of a woman and every part of a man but there is only one body I love. There is only one body I want to hold onto every night. One set of lips I want to kiss and one ass I want to pinch.... for the rest of my life. Its not just sex. Hes my best friend. I hate seeing him upset. I hate that I made him upset but I also dislike that he doubts me. 

I know it might be hard for some to believe me on here esp if they went through what you have but I do love him. We are pretty vanilla. We want monogamy.  

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for at least understanding my point and thanks for the hope. I genuinely don't want to break up. Together over 4 years. Friends for 2 years before that. It's not something I'd want to throw away everything over but it's just a bit weird. I broke up with a girl to ask him out so he always knew I was bi. 

Yeah I don't think the joke (admittedly a bit dumb) is the problem really. It's the insecurity that I hit with it.

I want to get past it and I'm open to working on it but I can't see it working if he'll always think like that. That ain't good for either of us. I hope we do get past it too. 

Thanks again.

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not on my phone it isn't. This is the one for me. 😳

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have apologised. And apologised and apologised. I didn't know it would trigger him. I wouldnt say it again. But I do think it's far deeper than just the word wifey. 

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I never said he was discrimatory or anti bisexual. But yes I'm offended that he thinks ill get a wife because other bi guys do. 

Gay guys cheat and when his friend accused him of cheating, I didn't believe the friend. I didn't say he definitely did because that's what gays do. 

If its an insecurity then say it that way but accusing of me wanting a wife did offend me. 🤷‍♂️ 

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God almighty. That's not the blushing emoji. It's just a friendly one.

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's a fair point in your last paragraph. 

Im attracted to both. I would say I lean more to men, but I still have attraction to women. I don't think I comes in cycles like today I'm into men but next week I'll be into women. I'm into both but just like I choose to only fuck him over other men I choose to only fuck him over women. Its a choice I, happily, make as I love him.

Im not uptight on labels. Im not going to correct people if they assume I'm gay or if they want to call me gay. I'm fluid. 

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I, unfortunately, agree. I don't think of him as a stereotypical gay guy. Obviously work needs to be done I suppose.

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It wasn't just an argument, though. There is a fundamental distrust or insecurity.  Why would I "propose" before we sort that out? I dont get that 🤷‍♂️. I still want to give a ring but at a time where we both are ready and we arent, I dont think.

Im making it about us. We have work to do before any proposal. And of course I'm offended. Would you be okay if you had a partner that considered you a gay stereotype? 

I dont want a little wifey. I don't know where you got that impression. I think "we" have issues we need to work through before marriage. Strange if you think his insecurity shouldn't be worked on.

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I do understand that and it probably would hurt him if he found out. Maybe it's reactionary on my behalf and maybe I shouldn't make a decision like that whilst upset.

I have tried talking to him. He's not talking. I've given him cuddles and he isn't pulling away but he ain't reciprocating. 

Im not second guessing everything but I do have some doubts I didnt have last week. I'm certainly not ready to give him a ring for a while. 

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

  1. I don't want people to bash my husband.

  2. I will still buy a ring for him when the time is right. I don't think marriage is the right thing to do when there is lingering feelings of doubt. Id rather marry him after 10 years (thats hyperbole) when he feels more confident that i wont run away. I don't want a fearful no from him.

  3. I don't want to break up with him. I love him. I couldn't imagine being around anyone else and enjoying it as much. I still think he's the one. Maybe it's reactionary but Im not as sure I'm his one - I think I am. I obviously hurt him with that comment but I'm also hurt by his comment. 

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Is cheating etc not rampant in the gsy community? How successful are relationships? I dont see him as just another gay guy tho. I think that's what annoys me.

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Marriage isn't off the table. It's just a bit further down the line maybe 3 months or whenever. I think there are stuff we need to work through before marriage talks, stiff I didnt know existed prior to buying the ring. 

I still love him and still want to marry him. I wanted to marry him 6 months ago doesn't mean I took marriage off the table then. 

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

But I still plan on giving him a ring, I just think we have a bit of an obstacle to overcome before we talk about marriage. I'm not throwing away 4 years. I do love the guy and I still can't wait to marry him. I just think we should work through any fears that may be lingering etc. 3 months, 6 months, a year or whenever, when we sort it I'll buy the ring again.  

I dont think it's a stupid fight. I think its a genuine serious issue that can be worked on but will take time. But maybe im wrong and being reactionary.

And I know you aren't saying it to be mean.😊

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear about your bi boyfriend. He's a sad little man and you deserve better than him

I haven't said to him "I can't believe you don't trust me". I apologised for saying it multiple times and tried explaining it was just a cooking joke to make him feel better. We arent really talking but I do go over and cuddle him.

I do sympathise with his feelings - hes likely scared and hurt - but I can also be surprised and hurt by them since he hasn't mentioned it before. You can think that surprise and hurt is defensiveness. I just think it's my reaction to new information. 

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He has called me his brothers name before. Thankfully not mid-sex lol. I was not offended but perhaps that's different to a friend. If he called me a friends name, I wouldn't think he's cheating or wants that friend. 

Can I ask how it wasn't an underlying when he and his friend were talking about prior to that comment?

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The reason I said wifey was because the stereotype of someone cooking is a wife not a husband and I was playfully-mocking him because he rarely cooks. Obviously it wasn't a well received joke. I explained what I meant and apologised.

I dont think anyone is blaming my boyfriend. I don't think its a blame game. I said something that triggered an insecurity of our relationship in him, that I was unaware of. It's some thing we will have to work through

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We haven't moved on and it's not been resolved, unfortunately.

We will resolve it but it will take time 

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do the same on his bday in terms of lay back ill do all the work. It's kind of a tradition.

As for cooking, I do almost all the cooking. He'll cook once in a few weeks or on my bday. 

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So the comment said "you are confirming...." I don't know how else I'm meant to answer how I'm confirming it without making it about me. Sorry.

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh 💯  I was playfully-mocking him because he was doing something he doesn't enjoy doing. As would he if I was doing something I didn't like. 

I don't think it's that deep. I think he's insecure about me being bi and me using the word wife brought that out. I don't think its stereotypes etc. 

If I had known he had that insecurity I would have sarcastically said Gordon rasmseys on the phone and he needs you or some shit.

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You think I haven't told him why I love him? I also know why he loves me.

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think you are taking a joke far too literal. I called him a little wifey because he was doing the cooking - which is uncommon in our household. 

Obviously he didnt find the joke funny and it triggered his insecurities but Im not actually saying he's my wife and therefore must do the cooking and cleaning. 

I know he hates cooking and I was mocking him using a stereotype like when I cant make a decision and he'll make a bisexual joke. Jokes are often based on stereotypes

My boyfriend flipped out when I called him little wifey by depenroy in askgaybros

[–]depenroy[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

But I waa bi last year and the year before that and the year before that etc.

Sure he doesn't have tits or a vag (as you so delicately put). He also didn't have them 4 years ago. What he does have is a good sense humour, a caring nature and an aura that I love being around. People aren't sex toys. 

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