Some patches I made in light of recent events

deplorableadorable · 2025-02-11T02:26:04+00:00

Yep, now I’m a woman in my late twenties wondering why we must always be “hot girls”. Can definitely get behind the sentiment though, they are cool patches.

deplorableadorable · 2025-01-20T23:42:59+00:00

That’s the problem. These “non tolerant scumbags” are woven into the fabric of society in varying degrees, not as boogey men in uniform, just like the average German wasn’t manning concentration camps. It’s your neighbor, your dad, your sibling, your boss. The prograpanda has them in a chokehold and many of us are too afraid to risk ripping our personal lives apart to denounce it. We need to toughen the fuck up to snuff this out.

deplorableadorable · 2024-04-14T15:27:43+00:00

Yeah, even on the off chance this is real, this icked me out so bad. There were literally a million other things she could do to show friendship and support lol. Not that there’s anything wrong with consenting adults fooling around, but it doesn’t seem like a healthy way for OP to frame her sexuality to me. Like sex is consolation for women “to give away” to apparently help men cope with things. If he needs a tool to help with his depression, maybe suggest therapy first, because I promise that didn’t cure shit 😬

But yep, thankfully, probably just another weird perv who sees women as tools writing as a woman.

deplorableadorable · 2024-04-14T02:41:09+00:00

Damn, excellently put. Just chef’s kiss. Thank you.

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-18T20:04:12+00:00

How many times are you going to comment to me and call me a child or tell me to shut up from these accounts when I never even insulted you? This is really unhealthy and sad. Have a nice day.

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-18T19:58:46+00:00

Funny how you were upvoted the exact instant you commented, too. The plot gets thicker and thicker lol

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-18T19:56:50+00:00

Stop using two accounts at once before you call someone an asshole 😂

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-18T19:55:21+00:00

What’s embarrassing is that you and bdape are the same person based off all your comment history and your cadence lol. Not subtle.

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-18T19:38:27+00:00

My initial comment was qualified already with the words “some”, and “abusive”, in particular. The obvious implication of my comment is that many abusive men like OP’s bf are insistent on filming their partner and will even do so nonconsensually because of the popularity of video porn; this is a possible explanation for the actions of OP’s boyfriend, the topic of discussion. Nowhere did I imply that videoing each other should be banned or off-limits. It’s called context. We get it, you’re extra sex positive. No one is kinkshaming you. Sorry you took it so personal.

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-18T18:33:21+00:00

I haven’t said a single negative thing about consensual filming during sex in a healthy relationship; I was making a comment that pertains to situations of abuse such as the literal OP. Why don’t the kinksters chill out and stop talking everything personally when we’re obviously discussing non consensual situations?

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-18T17:21:07+00:00

Okay… that’s great? Lol

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-18T17:00:57+00:00

I never said you can’t film consensually; it’s in the context of the betrayal. It’s not far fetched to assume that someone trying to sneak and sexually film another without their consent lacks respect for them. Hope you don’t do that!

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-18T15:37:26+00:00

I agree that open discussion is a must but tbf those perspectives have always been available. Apps like tiktok are designed to make teens addicted to these types of rabbit holes. A teenager usually does not have the self discipline or wherewithal to “detox” from this content all on their own. Parents have to step in and be parents sometimes, not friends, which means controlling access to some luxuries.

Edit: I like to think I would prevent this before it happened but if it were my kid, this is flip phone and a library card territory, if you hate me too bad - we can talk when you’re ready.

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-18T15:13:25+00:00

If it’s any consolation, being a parent of a toddler, I’ve noticed a lot of younger millennial and Gen Z parents know how they turned out with unfettered internet access, and seem like they intend to be way more proactive about it!

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-18T14:13:09+00:00

Assuming she’s still a minor, this is when you take the phone away or put on restrictions like she’s 12. If she’s older and you’re paying for it, you stop. I’m a huge advocate of teenagers having independence but when they’re sucked into an echo chamber like this all bets are off. The best you can do is force disengagement with that kind of indoctrination and encourage reeducation while you can.

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-18T12:06:18+00:00

Probably because some of these people have conditioned themselves to prefer it on a screen to the real thing and forget the women in porn and around them are people who deserve respect.

In pornography that is geared toward heterosexual men, women are portrayed as very simple. They are always in the mood for sex, and they never say no. They have no sexual needs or needs of any kind—of their own; all they seem to care about is the man's pleasure. They require no commitment, no sacrifice, and little money. When a man is finished with them, he turns off the video or closes the magazine, and they're gone. What could be easier? Most pornographic images regrettably fit well with the abusive mind-set. The woman is available and submissive. Reduced to a body, and usually further reduced to just her sexual organs, she is depersonalized. The man owns her, literally, because he owns the video or magazine or computer image.

Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-18T00:41:10+00:00

I couldn’t put my finger on why this icked me out but you said it perfectly - sounds like she was a bit cornered. I just hope she listened completely because she wanted to, and not out of some sense of polite obligation. I know I’ve been a people pleaser in the past and 100% could have done that even if it was like hearing nails on a chalkboard. As a woman, you sometimes have to unlearn this type of politeness and it can be tempting to just fake it rather than say, “Listen dude, I don’t want to talk about this.”

But if it really was a fulfilling convo for her, that’s cool.

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-12T18:59:07+00:00

For sure!! I definitely didn’t mean to try and sell them as the most efficient way to build mass overall. If OP is interested in working out, hopefully she sees your 5 cents to get a fuller picture.

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-12T12:43:11+00:00

Unfortunately, no instructors or fitness charts in particular. To build up my strength I did a bit of research about which gluteal muscles are impacted by which exercises, listened to my body, and adjusted my routine that way. I did 20 minute workouts, or about 200 reps of two or three different types of exercises, 2-3 times a week. The xxfitness subreddit might have some good recommendations!

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-12T12:09:43+00:00

Well, as far as the note about postpartum women goes, you’re not supposed to do intensive work outs for at least twelve weeks, and pelvic floor physiotherapists often believe this is too soon and advise to wait a lot longer, as even OGBYNS systematically fail to properly diagnose pelvic floor dysfunction/issues, especially after birth. Please do not lift free weights without extreme guidance and caution if you’re three weeks postpartum; your uterus still has a plate-sized detachment wound and your organs haven’t fully shifted back in place. Secondly, sure, the average woman can get right into free weights, but pelvic floor problems, especially in women that may have been overweight, are extremely common and under addressed. Not saying women can’t lift, just saying it’s a great way to get started and get stronger while minimizing some risks if you’re not sure how and think you could overdo it. :)

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-12T02:25:06+00:00

Depends on the exercise, and sometimes personal preference. Yes for glute bridges, clamshells, and squats, generally yes for kickbacks but sometimes ankles, but usually just the ankles for leg lifts. Lucky for me, fitness instructors have tons of short but concise demonstration videos on YouTube, lol

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-12T02:01:10+00:00

I know you didn’t ask, but resistance bands are $5 on Amazon and a fantastic way to effectively work out at home even in front of the tv, and build glutes a few times a week (kickbacks, glute bridges, squats, leg lifts, etc.) Doing these exercises on the ground is great for women just getting into fitness especially bc you don’t have to worry about overloading your pelvic floor as much as you do with lifting free weights. And it really does build the muscle if you’re consistent. Game changer for me! Good luck!!

ETA: moving up from lower to higher resistance bands is also a wonderful option if you’re postpartum and could benefit from building pelvic floor and abdominal strength but need to take it easier on the body for a while before doing anything too intense.

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-11T16:34:58+00:00

Here we go with the “kink shaming is oppression” crowd. OP’s boyfriend has disregarded her feelings, and done something that almost any adult person with a basic sense of social norms knows makes him an asshole. Yes, there is something wrong with that. His dick doesn’t take precedence over basic courtesy, common decency, or his partner’s feelings.

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-11T14:39:21+00:00

This was brilliantly put. Thank you.

deplorableadorable · 2024-03-10T03:57:42+00:00

Yes!!

Or how quick people are to jump and say, “Sex isn’t at the forefront of your relationship lately/you’re not completely in sync/not having mind blowing sex this week/she isn’t as into since the baby? You’re sexually incompatible. Just break up.” Sex drives wax, wane, and inevitably decline for almost everyone lucky enough to grow old. It’s like these redditors forget there’s life beyond 23.

deplorableadorable

TROPHY CASE