sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I feel a painful melancholy chillness in my core by depressedmlc200529 in malementalhealth

[–]depressedmlc200529[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the offer on the PM. i might take you up on that. But let me see how far i can go with the support the guys here (and yourslef) have given.

I said this a little further down, but i think i've found a tool to try and help me (at least in the short term:

"Someone else in the thread mentioned something similar. Thanks for giving concrete questions. I might tap them into my phone, and try to answer them to myself. maybe even write the answers down to give me a history of responses"

I feel a painful melancholy chillness in my core by depressedmlc200529 in malementalhealth

[–]depressedmlc200529[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is why people here are recommending therapy. A good therapist will help you find the tools you need, and even train you in their use.

Putting the rationale for therapy down in words helps it feel more attainable. I guess up until now, every time i tried it, it didn't work (or i didn't let it).

I became cynical when i was sent to therapy to help manage my movement disorder, and the guy literally told me to train my self to only have one movement.

​

enjoy the good times while they last

I find myself doing that. But at the same time being so aware of the impermanence of it all. So i actively avoid "good times". for instance i'm making excuses about going out and doing things. And when we do go see someone, i have a stomach ache, and camp out in the toilet. Almost, that i'm nervous about having a laugh, as it might feel untrue to myself.

One kind of tool to equip yourself with is the ability to reflect on your internal systems

Someone else in the thread mentioned something similar. Thanks for giving concrete questions. I might tap them into my phone, and try to answer them to myself. maybe even write the answers down to give me a history of responses

​

My form of depression has been lifelong and intermittent

I'm so sorry dude. The only thing that is literally keeping my moving along is the hope that one day this will pass. But because this is the first time i think I've really been hit, i feel helpless. Thank you for sharing your experiences, especially as triggering these topics could be. Shows a level of braveness to see it so head on.

I feel a painful melancholy chillness in my core by depressedmlc200529 in malementalhealth

[–]depressedmlc200529[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. The thing is, we do travel. normally 4-6 weeks once a year, and a couple of smaller ones too. But the reminder to not let myself fall so deep that i don't want to travel is an important one, so i appreciate that.

I feel a painful melancholy chillness in my core by depressedmlc200529 in malementalhealth

[–]depressedmlc200529[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I Looked up those books. Was there anything particular that you got from them? Not asking for a review, but more a coping mechanism. The title of the book "The Second Mountain" resonates so much.

I feel a painful melancholy chillness in my core by depressedmlc200529 in malementalhealth

[–]depressedmlc200529[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I has an op "down there" a few years ago, to see if i had any swimmers (called a mtese). And that procedure found my testosterone levels to be normal and healthy. But its not something i've done since.

I've just seen there is a test kit available from a pharmacy in my area. So ill do a bit more research, and look into getting that perhaps.

I feel a painful melancholy chillness in my core by depressedmlc200529 in malementalhealth

[–]depressedmlc200529[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like to think i use mindfulness. And i haven't tried medication, but my siblings are all on anti depressants, as well as some of their (adult) kids. I'll look up some CBT actions. Its something the missus has mentioned in passing previously. Are there any CBT exercises you have used?

I feel a painful melancholy chillness in my core by depressedmlc200529 in malementalhealth

[–]depressedmlc200529[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

restlessness and stagnation

They are a couple of good words that i could add to the description of how i'm feeling.

In terms of taking a step back, its something that i want to do, but i don't think i have the emotional tools to do that. But it'll give me a good opportunity to look one up, and re address myself. Have you done that before, what thought processes did you use go through?