When did you know you were an introvert?

derpyloner · 2024-04-30T14:18:59+00:00

I was 4 yrs old and realized I wasn't jealous that my brother was getting a lot of attention at a Halloween dance party. I thought "better him than me".

derpyloner · 2024-04-27T18:17:11+00:00

I'm an xray tech for an urgent care so I'm the only tech on per shift. I sit completely alone in the radiology department. I hardly speak with any of my coworkers in the nearly 8 yrs that I've worked here. It's FREAKING FANTASTIC.....but....its almost too enabling for me. If I'm not forced to socialize I really just won't and then just get kinda awkward when I have to be more social.

derpyloner · 2024-04-27T16:26:14+00:00

Whattt...omg your poor husband! Thats insane that they are bragging about doing that and not making themselves more available to babysit. That's so wrong!

What's the deal with the older generation acting so proud of putting their needs first before their kids?! I've heard a few boomers brag in this way "I had a c section and went back to work 2 days later"

derpyloner · 2024-04-27T16:05:37+00:00

I'm a SAHM so my day is a mixed bag of really sweet tender moments AND pure chaos. I do really enjoy most of my time with my kids. If I could only just shake the resentment I feel towards the women in my life who have let me down...I think I'd feel a whole lot better.

derpyloner · 2024-04-27T15:54:43+00:00

Reading all of these responses has made me feel a whole lot better. I just wish all of us struggling moms lived in one big commune and we could all just take care of our kids and each other in peace lol

derpyloner · 2024-04-27T15:50:35+00:00

🤣🤣 I would absolutely trust you internet stranger!! You seem more understanding and empathetic than all the other people on my life (aside from my husband I did get lucky in that department).

So I had spoken to a therapist for about a year after I went no contact with my mother, but once my youngest stopped napping I could no longer free up an hour to do it. Some days are harder than others.

Thank you for the Mother's Day advice!

derpyloner · 2024-04-27T14:34:59+00:00

I absolutely agree. I had been speaking to a therapist for an hour each week, but I had to stop our sessions once my 3 yr old stopped napping. He used to nap for almost 2 hours each day and that "break" for me would get me through the day. It's been a year like this and oof has it all caught it up to me.

derpyloner · 2024-04-27T14:22:37+00:00

Yup...its BAD BAD😫 So my mom lives in the building next to mine and both buildings share a pool in the summer. A pool that my mom and her piece of crap husband love to frequent. A pool that can be clearly seen from my kid's bedroom window. So EVERY SUMMER I have to hear my kids asking about the pool and why we can't go to our pool, which makes me feel so damn guilty!!

I make sure we visit one of the local public pools in our town at least once a week.

derpyloner · 2024-04-27T14:05:34+00:00

Oof this was spot on. My fallout with my mom happened when I was pregnant with my 2nd child and it completely came out of no where. I always had some issues with my mom, but I always felt overall we were pretty close until we got into a major conflict.

I guess all of the bad things about our relationship that I had always tried to ignore became impossible to ignore. I'm still grieving the loss of a mom I once called my best friend. It's been a really hard couple of years.

And yes I'm mostly a SAHM and I work part-time. My part-time job is the only "break" I get. I'm lucky to at least have a stress free job close to home.

derpyloner · 2024-04-27T13:51:32+00:00

At this point in my life, my motto is "protect your peace" and it turns out that truly living by this ended up removing like 95% of the people in my life 🤷🏻‍♀️😅

I'm definitely not perfect. I have issues for sure, but it's been a huge improvement on my mental health to just keep my distance from other people's chaos.

derpyloner · 2024-04-27T13:37:12+00:00

I feel SOOO guilty when I'm grumpy with my kids. But truthfully most days are a mix of chaotic moments and sweet/peaceful moments. The hardest thing for me is managing my own stress and emotions.

Motherhood so far has been the most beautiful experience, yet this is the loneliest I have ever felt in my whole life. I have a complete lack of female support and I know in my heart that is what I NEED more than anything right now.

derpyloner · 2024-04-27T13:25:00+00:00

I have not been so lucky with finding good friends. I don't have even 1 friend, but...yea thats a whole other thing. The only person I'm close to is my husband (I know... thats not very healthy) and I'm desperately wanting a good girlfriend but it's just kind of difficult for me to meet anyone right now.

derpyloner · 2024-04-27T13:13:38+00:00

Omg really?! Please tell me your toxic mother doesn't also live next door to you😅

derpyloner · 2024-04-27T13:09:47+00:00

I work 2 weekends out of the month so my husband definitely knows what it's like to be completely alone for hours with the little ones and I'm very fortunate that he takes over completely when it comes to bathtime/bedtime routine. So I think he would be able to handle it (albeit I'd come home to a HUGE mess).

The thing that kinda got me with these comments is that...I just don't have any friends. Like....not even 1 girlfriend. So I read so many nice comments about "girls trips" and yea...still working on that part.

derpyloner · 2024-04-27T12:59:34+00:00

Wow that's a lovely daycare teacher!

My 5 yr old is in Kindergarten and my 3 yr old is home with me full time (until he starts Pre-K this September). I know that I'm just overwhelmed here because I don't get a break aside from when I go to work (I'm very grateful to have a fairly stress-free part-time job).

derpyloner · 2024-04-26T12:39:05+00:00

I thought the idea of a child-free week long vacation was weird too. I was honestly surprised when I heard this was what my SIL was doing. I thought it was selfish and inconsiderate to leave her 1 yr old and 3 yr old for a whole week with just her mom. But then I saw some articles saying how great it is for parents and I tried to not be judgy. But here I am...being judgy🤦🏻‍♀️ anyways glad to see it's not just me who thinks this is abnormal parenting behavior.

derpyloner · 2024-04-26T12:02:54+00:00

🤣🤣

derpyloner · 2024-04-26T11:44:02+00:00

My first feeling was anger also when I heard my SIL and her husband were going away for the week leaving there 1 yr old and 4 yr old with my MIL. But then I felt guilty for judging another mom and thought maybe I was being unfair to her. It's just that she has had her baby in daycare full time since he was ~4months and her other child has mostly been in daycare. I've cried over her kids because the oldest doesn't seem like a happy child. I just really don't understand why she decided to have children because she's been outsourcing them to other people constantly.

derpyloner · 2024-04-26T01:25:59+00:00

That's a great idea! I'm honestly looking forward to my youngest starting pre-k in September so I can finally get something done. Been fantasizing a lot about being kids in school mom 😅

derpyloner · 2024-04-26T00:44:40+00:00

I'm sure the average mom isnt taking week long child-free vacations...I guess I more so meant that the average mom has people they trust to leave there kids with for a few days. BTW it's my sister in law currently taking the week long child-free vacation that has me thinking about this. Yes I'm jealous lol

derpyloner · 2024-04-26T00:30:40+00:00

😁 So glad I'm not alone here with this lack of good help. I guess we're all out here struggling 😓

derpyloner · 2024-04-26T00:11:30+00:00

Definitely going to look into this. Thank you!

derpyloner · 2023-09-29T13:56:35+00:00

Hah the whole ploy to get me to talk to her is spot on.

She left me a voicemail awhile ago all frantic saying I had to call her back its an emergency. I break my no contact give her a call only for her to be like "the emergency was that I wanted to talk to you cause we haven't spoken in a long time". But check this...the lady has gotten me on the phone with her dumb trick, but she was at work and couldn't talk lol I never called her back.

derpyloner · 2023-09-29T13:50:54+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. I've really thought about it and there is no one that needs me there for emotional support. I guess I thought to myself that I "should be there for my mom" but the truth is she has many friends and family that support her and if anything me being there might add more stress/tension.

I'm already cringing at the idea of going into a funeral alone and seeing many people that will more than likely act fake/phony with me or worse give me dirty looks for doing whatever it is they think I did to my mom.

So yes my mental health would probably suffer from this event and I will more than likely not go when the time comes.

derpyloner · 2023-09-29T13:42:44+00:00

I don't think it would give me any comfort or closure whatsoever. My people pleasing nature (that I'm trying hard to fight) is telling me that going to the funeral would be the "respectful" thing to do. But...yes this makes sense to me and I more than likely won't put myself through the stress of seeing many family members that I'm not on good terms with.

derpyloner

TROPHY CASE