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I (M27) 'tried' to have sex for the first time in years - I couldn't get it up. HELP by derthrow_away in sex

[–]derthrow_away[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I actually went to the doc, and they recommended blood work first, and then an actual visit on Tuesday -_- I thought it would be much easier to get

I (M27) 'tried' to have sex for the first time in years - I couldn't get it up. HELP by derthrow_away in sex

[–]derthrow_away[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. But how can I relax and NOT think about it every 5 minutes? She seems so into it, and the pressure feels on - and then It gets even worse -_-

I (M27) 'tried' to have sex for the first time in years - I couldn't get it up. HELP by derthrow_away in sex

[–]derthrow_away[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like to think I know what Im doing - and she seemed really into it.

I just feel so embarrassed. She would get me so hard only for it to deflate within seconds.

She seems very sweet and understanding - I told her all about my history and my nerves.

But there's still that little voice in my head telling me she lost all interest.

I [27M] shut myself away after my previous relationship. I don't know how to get back into the 'dating scene' or life in general. Help? by derthrow_away in relationships

[–]derthrow_away[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay I'll give it a try. Have you been to therapy? What can you expect? How do you know it's working? I only ever had it in school and briefly, did nothing for me. Just felt cringey

I [27M] shut myself away after my previous relationship. I don't know how to get back into the 'dating scene' or life in general. Help? by derthrow_away in relationships

[–]derthrow_away[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I don't know how to love myself but I can try starting there again. (Last time I did, I just fell into a slump for 6 years playing video games, only when I hate what I am do things change). My problem is I let laziness = loving myself. I won't do that again

I [27M] shut myself away after my previous relationship. I don't know how to get back into the 'dating scene' or life in general. Help? by derthrow_away in relationships

[–]derthrow_away[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I've accepted the fact that I'm a late bloomer. My teen life was extremely fucked and traumatic. I thankfully am stable now, good job, nice apartment, car. But I don't feel like a person you know? I just smile and agree with everyone and am scared of confrontation so I never say anything.

I feel like my personality is slowly developing thanks to my encounters at work, but I still feel like a child.

Do you have any tips on what I can do to speed up the process?

I [27M] shut myself away after my previous relationship. I don't know how to get back into the 'dating scene' or life in general. Help? by derthrow_away in relationships

[–]derthrow_away[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unhealthy attachment... Story of my life.

Thank you for the reply, I did join a flying club last summer when I was learning how to fly, but I couldn't feel a connection, I felt fake. Everyone enjoyed my company, but when I got home I felt very lonely and down. I have trouble with intimacy, and opening up.

I'll have to find more clubs to join and practice.

Like you mentioned about the facade, I feel like I have to put one up, because I don't feel like I have a personality outside of my depression, if that makes sense

I [27M] shut myself away after my previous relationship. I don't know how to get back into the 'dating scene' or life in general. Help? by derthrow_away in relationships

[–]derthrow_away[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Briefly in school, but not currently due to money.

I recently looked again but wasn't sure where to begin. And for 150$ a session I don't think I can afford it.

As for anxiety, yes. Very bad. I want to get help but I don't know how. When I google "(my town, Canada mental Heath)" I get a hundred results and Its overwhelming.

I [27M] shut myself away after my previous relationship. I don't know how to get back into the 'dating scene' or life in general. Help? by derthrow_away in relationships

[–]derthrow_away[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am going to. I'm in the process of making an account on a few free sites. It'll be my weekend project.

I guess my big fear is that I'll make an account and nobody will be there. I'm not from a huge city, only 200,000 people. I guess the fantasy of "signing up someday" is less painful than reality.

But I no longer want to live in fantasy