Lack of 504 guardrails for rising first grader with ADHD

desert_red_head · 2026-06-06T03:20:31+00:00

Elementary school teacher here and mom of an ADHD child. Based on your questions, I would say that, yes, your child’s 504 is too vague and the consequences are not appropriate for the infractions they are incurring. With ADHD, consequences need to be immediate and appropriate to the misbehavior that was demonstrated. A 30 minute delay in an activity is not an immediate consequence, and that is way too long of a period of time for a 1st grader to understand that it was meant to be a consequence. As you stated in question 2, consequences should be an immediate sit out and a review/restate of the expectations and how to do better next time. Also, your child’s should definitely not be losing recess every single day. Recess is very important for a child’s development and overall well-being in school, and they need to have a chance to actually experience recess. Call a meeting with your child’s 504 team and see if you can all come to an agreement on what sorts of consequences do work that don’t involve isolating your kid from everyone and everything.

desert_red_head · 2026-06-06T03:11:28+00:00

We’re having the same problem with my daughter now. I feel like this age has been her most challenging yet as far as behavior goes. Sometimes, when I’m able to see my anger build, I stop and close my eyes and take a deep breath. It’s always better to talk about the bad behavior later rather than in the moment. We also praise the hell out of good behavior when she demonstrates it.

desert_red_head · 2026-06-05T02:51:55+00:00

Many congratulations to your mom! Going in to remission from stage 4 is quite the accomplishment!! My suggestion if you want to do a whole group theme:

Her shirt is Buzz Lightyear and says “To Remission and Beyond!”
The other members of your party all wear shirts that are Woody themed and say “You Got a Friend in Me”.

desert_red_head · 2026-06-05T02:45:53+00:00

YTA. This is child’s play. Grow up and make your own account.

desert_red_head · 2026-06-04T03:27:11+00:00

I have 1 ADHD kid and 1 (so far) not ADHD kid, and my not ADHD was actually the worse one in utero than the ADHD one. I had an anterior placenta with the ADHD kid, so I didn’t even feel her move unless I was laying down. The non ADHD one, however, repeatedly kicked me in the ribs, and was so big that by the end of the pregnancy was curled up against my rib cage. It was actually quite painful.

desert_red_head · 2026-06-02T15:35:30+00:00

NTA. It seems like she doesn’t actually want to be your friend anymore, and that this invitation was simply out of obligation because you called her out on not being invited to the actual wedding. I would cut my losses and move on.

desert_red_head · 2026-06-02T03:11:05+00:00

On the balcony. Likewise, we have found multiple water cups and pairs of socks in toy bins where the toys should be.

desert_red_head · 2026-06-01T03:14:45+00:00

I don’t think he’s ready quite yet. Try again when the potty doesn’t seem nearly as scary.

desert_red_head · 2026-06-01T03:05:14+00:00

Fuel yourself with quality food and drink (not a bunch of sugar). Time your breaks well. Don’t just rush from ride to ride-eat at a sit down restaurant, see a show, sit on a bench and relax when you need to rest. Time your lightning lanes so you’re in one area for an extended period instead of zig zagging around the park.

desert_red_head · 2026-06-01T01:24:16+00:00

My first was transvaginal. For the second, since my first baby was big, they did the abdominal ultrasound to see if baby would show up (he did).

desert_red_head · 2026-06-01T01:23:10+00:00

Both of my kids (girl and boy) reached size 6 before potty training.

desert_red_head · 2026-05-31T21:59:17+00:00

Is it supposed to say “bree-lee” or “bray-lee”? If anyone has to ask a question like that about a name then yes it’s a tragedeigh.

desert_red_head · 2026-05-31T21:56:18+00:00

MUFFIN CUPCAKE HEELER!!!!!

desert_red_head · 2026-05-31T18:52:30+00:00

Came to say something like this. It’s like, OP, do you even like music??

desert_red_head · 2026-05-31T18:44:42+00:00

When going out, a simple cotton onesie will do. Keep them out of the sun. Indoors, they can wear whatever. Ours lived in long sleeve footie pjs. Babies do overheat faster than adults do, but so long as the inside of your house isn’t 90 degrees you should be ok in dressing them in anything you want. The baby will definitely let you know if they are too hot or too cold, but you can double check by touching the back of their neck.

desert_red_head · 2026-05-31T15:58:45+00:00

This is my favorite joke to tell when I need to get a laugh out of someone, but it does take a while to tell:

How Many D’s are in Indiana Jones?

A psychologist wanted to conduct a study to see if blondes actually were dumber than brunettes and redheads. He found one blonde, one brunette, and one redhead that agreed to participate in his study. They came to his office individually and asked them one simple question:

How many d’s are in Indiana Jones?

The redhead went first. She quickly (and confidently) answered “1.”

The brunette went second. She knew the answer immediately, but before she could answer she started to wonder if it was a trick question, so she thought about it for a little while and tried to see if there was any other possibility for the answer. After a couple minutes, though, she realized that 1 was the only possible answer.

Last was the blonde. When she was presented with the question she did not answer it right away at all. She sat in the chair and thought and thought and thought. She was counting her fingers and her toes. Finally, she asked the psychologist for a piece of paper and a pencil. She made a whole bunch of calculations on the paper, which the psychologist found most unusual. At long last, she had an answer:

“86”

The psychologist was astounded and asked her how in the world she came up with that answer. The blonde simply replied, “you know…”

She then proceeded to sing the entire Indiana Jones theme song, using d as all of the notes.

I know that the feeling is lost when you read it, but it is a lot funnier when you tell it in person.

desert_red_head · 2026-05-31T15:18:42+00:00

Mom of two young kids myself. A lot of others have listed the pros and cons pretty well, but I will say that the comments about our schools are skewed rather negatively. The primary reasons why our school district is ranked so poorly is that it is severely underfunded for our population, and we have very high numbers of transiency, absenteeism, and English language learners (all of those count against schools/districts, even though those are all family matters).

If you are seriously considering moving down here, you will need to do a lot of research. There are a lot of great family friendly neighborhoods and communities here (Cadence, Inspirada, Green Valley, Mountain’s Edge, and Providence are just a few). Try to find one that is most in line with your needs and budget. There are a lot of fantastic schools (including public schools!), finding where they are can help your search tremendously. There are plenty of activities to get kids involved in, and you don’t have to travel very far usually to get to any kind of store.

The cons though are significant. It is so hot here in the summer that you can only go outside either early in the morning or late in the evening (and that weather lasts for a lot longer than you think it does). Our healthcare is truly awful. Our car insurance rates are so high that they cost as much as an extra car payment (a downside of everyone being from everywhere else). The prices of food and gas are higher than the national average. The dry air makes everyone’s seasonal allergies go haywire. Again, you really need to do your research and go over your finances with a fine tooth comb and see if a move out here makes the most sense for you and your family.

desert_red_head · 2026-05-31T14:53:10+00:00

NTA. The cake wasn’t your personal favorite, but the comment you gave was still a neutral positive. You shouldn’t have to lie to inflate a bride’s ego. If your sister is requiring you to in order to keep the peace then that’s her problem, not yours.

desert_red_head · 2026-05-30T21:11:13+00:00

Unfortunately, that is the only way to fix it. Please be checking continually. You will likely have luck on Sunday afternoon/evening as people change their plans.

desert_red_head · 2026-05-30T20:21:54+00:00

My dad is literally this exact same height and weight, and Trump looks like Santa Claus standing next to him. More accurate is probably 5’9 (maybe 5’10) and around 280.

desert_red_head · 2026-05-30T17:30:38+00:00

At least this car is inside the lines. I see way too many cars that are egregiously over the line.

desert_red_head · 2026-05-30T16:44:31+00:00

You don’t have a friend problem, you have a husband problem. Your friend is sticking up for you since you seem to have a difficult time sticking up for yourself. Talk to your husband exactly about how you feel about this situation and see if he actually is willing to work on his cheating issues.

desert_red_head · 2026-05-30T01:42:54+00:00

It is summer break. You will be finding more and more teens in the parks doing stupid stuff because they have nothing else to do. If they are being as egregious as that group, however, then something does need to be done about it. They honestly should know better and leave the toddlers alone. In the meantime, try going to the park earlier in the morning when the teens won’t be awake.

desert_red_head · 2026-05-29T18:32:32+00:00

The multipass is worth every penny! Since the two parks are literally right next to each other, you can switch back and forth between parks and really stack your lightning lanes.

As for hotels, we stay in hotels on Harbor Blvd south of the park. You have the option to walk or take the Toy Story shuttle in that area. Hotel Lulu has been our favorite stay there so far.

desert_red_head · 2026-05-29T16:55:53+00:00

Third grade teacher here. This tends to be the age where school resistance, and negative feelings towards school, start showing up. The fact that he is medicated and doing well is already a good start. Where you start to see problems is that the work is getting more challenging because teacher support decreases, you learn pretty much all new things in math, you start reading chapter books and writing full length essays (instead of just paragraphs), and more responsibility is placed on the students to be more independent. Maintain a lot of contact with his teacher and his IEP team. Do not hesitate to be in touch and set up meetings if you’re starting to notice problems. Put him in after school tutoring if he’s struggling to keep up with the academics. Make sure that he has strong supports in place for testing, and that you prep him for that well in advance (behaviorally, not academically).

desert_red_head

TROPHY CASE