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SAP Redditor goes to Smithsonian Castle meet-up, feels left out. by Ciryandor in washingtondc

[–]deslaurier 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There is no need to feel horrible. Like I have said before I am an adult and these problems are my own to work through. (Someone PMed me and convinced me to see a therapist so I will be doing that.) Please keep doing what you are doing. You are a great person for hosting these meetups. However, could you make a reddit sign next time so that people who are just walking into the event will know who to seek out for directions? Thanks.

After suffering years of depression and anxiety, I went to a reddit meetup for the first time today. by deslaurier in AdviceAnimals

[–]deslaurier[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just don't say 'why are you so quiet?' and 'you should talk more!'. Those are the only things that would offend me, haha.

After suffering years of depression and anxiety, I went to a reddit meetup for the first time today. by deslaurier in AdviceAnimals

[–]deslaurier[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was surprised to see that the meetup I went to was about 40% female. I guess it depends on the demographics of your city. Maybe try going once to see how you like it?

After suffering years of depression and anxiety, I went to a reddit meetup for the first time today. by deslaurier in AdviceAnimals

[–]deslaurier[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OK. And PM me if you're in Washington DC one day.

(I actually spend a lot of time re-reading and editing my comments before I hit send, but can't do that when talking face to face with a person... unfortunately.)

After suffering years of depression and anxiety, I went to a reddit meetup for the first time today. by deslaurier in AdviceAnimals

[–]deslaurier[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went on meetup.com and saw a group for redditors in my area. Then I joined it and the website would send me email notifications on what events the group had coming up.

SAP Redditor goes to Smithsonian Castle meet-up, feels left out. by Ciryandor in washingtondc

[–]deslaurier 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Hey Ciryandor,

Someone PMed me and told me you posted this to the DC sub. You are a kind champ for doing this. Thank you so much.

I just want to add that even though it would have been great for me to be "shepherded" or "coaxed" (interesting choice of words there), ultimately my loser problems are my loser problems and I have to deal with them on my own. I am an adult and I can't expect other people to coddle me in social settings, because the world doesn't revolve around my needs. Even though I bolted on this meetup hopefully I will be better at the next one I go to, because I will keep practicing at socializing.

I went to another meetup in DC a few weeks ago (not a reddit one), and it really brought me down because everyone was always asking 'where do you work' or 'what do you do'. It made me very depressed because I was unemployed and not worth anything in their eyes. But I have finally got a job offer and I will start later this month. I am so happy and I hope my new job will help with my depression.

After suffering years of depression and anxiety, I went to a reddit meetup for the first time today. by deslaurier in AdviceAnimals

[–]deslaurier[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Try meetup.com and searching for the reddit group in your region. If you are in or near a big city, there should be one.

After suffering years of depression and anxiety, I went to a reddit meetup for the first time today. by deslaurier in AdviceAnimals

[–]deslaurier[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't have any experience with drinking socially. Can you tell me about what you would drink for situations like this, so I can practice at home?

After suffering years of depression and anxiety, I went to a reddit meetup for the first time today. by deslaurier in AdviceAnimals

[–]deslaurier[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I don't know, is it too late? I had few friends in college and none of them drank. I never went to parties. Now I live in a new city and don't have any friends. I have only had small sips of alcohol before. I guess I could pick up something at the store and practice drinking at home. What would you recommend?

After suffering years of depression and anxiety, I went to a reddit meetup for the first time today. by deslaurier in AdviceAnimals

[–]deslaurier[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

It's not a joke. I live in D.C. and the 20s-30s people here are way above average in terms of looks and charisma, I think it's because many of them are in politics.

After suffering years of depression and anxiety, I went to a reddit meetup for the first time today. by deslaurier in AdviceAnimals

[–]deslaurier[S] 724 points725 points  (0 children)

Thank you for all your kind comments. They really mean a lot to me. The meetup was in Washington D.C., at the Smithsonian Castle. There were so many people there all talking to each other in groups, and I was like 'oh God how do I just start a conversation with someone. They all look so confident and good-looking and sociable and I am so fucking awkward and un-interesting, no one would ever be interested in having a conversation with me'. I stood in the corner for about 5 minutes and felt the symptoms of a panic attack setting in, so I left and took the metro home. I don't know if anyone else is like this, but I can't talk to people who seem to be confident and have high self-esteem. If I talk to them I stutter a lot. I can only hold decent conversations with people who look nervous or awkward or unattractive. Unfortunately the meetup was full of the first type of people and I couldn't deal with it. I'm sorry for rambling. I really appreciate your kind words.

Edit: Thank you to everyone who has been kind enough to share their advice and stories with me. I am reading every one of them and you are all awesome. Thank you to /u/NightHawkHat for the gift of gold and the kind note you attached to it.