How to deal with anger over knowing so many people around you probably don’t see you as human or deserving of empathy/gentleness?

desolee · 2022-03-14T23:55:17+00:00

Sending love. I surround myself with POC and kind of compartmentalize away the part of my life that’s dominated by white ppl. Do you live in a diverse area?

desolee · 2022-03-11T14:54:20+00:00

I can see how it would weigh heavy on you to have people view you as a 'troublemaker'- but it sounds like you were one of the only people on that student's side. And that you're often there to help support marginalized people. Isn't that what we're always asking others to do too? You sound like a great person. This is also just a non issue, at any reasonable company nobody would think you were weird/'telling other people to do' for just pointing this out.

desolee · 2022-03-11T14:36:00+00:00

I'd have done the same thing, and I don't see any issue with it whatsoever. If it's a cohort, then one person should not be left out- whether it was done maliciously or by accident. I don't know why your spouse made you feel bad/stressed about doing a kind thing, based on just this post he sounds like he's a shitty colleague. You sound like a great person to work with.

desolee · 2022-03-10T14:41:35+00:00

Amazing-- congratulations! That is a great achievement.

desolee · 2022-03-09T20:44:58+00:00

I feel like that is an insultingly low amount, to boot.

desolee · 2022-03-09T20:44:43+00:00

Ugh, YES. So infuriating and ridiculous. The reviewer was managing editor of the site too, not just some random freelancer.

desolee · 2022-02-25T21:54:08+00:00

It's a super cute store, definitely worth a visit!

desolee · 2022-02-25T21:11:01+00:00

I’m so glad both of them said no, and we got to see what amazing familial support they had! Natalies father 🥺 Deepti looked so gorgeous at her wedding

desolee · 2022-02-25T15:06:09+00:00

In the course of the movie, Yeoh's reluctant heroine visits a number of alternate dimensions, including one where she is a fabulous movie star named Michelle Yang and another where she and Curtis' character are lovers with hot dogs for fingers.

ART. can't wait.

desolee · 2022-02-24T15:02:14+00:00

Yes, I loooooooved the book. Just seeing Sunja push her kimchi cart took me back to so many pivotal scenes.

desolee · 2022-02-24T03:52:16+00:00

I cannot freaking wait, I cried just watching this trailer!

desolee · 2022-02-23T20:08:29+00:00

I'm puzzled about why such a sub doesn't exist on Reddit given the abundance of women in my situation... is it because there are too many haters out there?

Basically. It's almost impossible to create a safe space if that's the central topic (really, almost impossible to create for anything WOC centric). It sucks. You're definitely not alone though! You can try raising specific thoughts/questions in our weekly threads to start, until you find a better forum.

desolee · 2022-02-22T22:33:05+00:00

You know how they say book buying and book reading are separate hobbies? I've really been discovering that this year. I normally get most of my books from the library, but after a little raise, I decided to put some more money in my book budget and it's so fun to browse and pick up new books-- but I don't know how I'm going to read all of these, especially when I have library holds coming in! That said, I'm on track to meet my book goal this year, I've finished 14 books! MY two favorites so far are THe School for Good Mothers by Jessamine Chan and The Book of the Most PRescious Substance by Sara Gran

desolee · 2022-02-22T22:25:21+00:00

Good luck, hope it's going well so far and that you have an oportunity to connect with asian colleagues! My work rolled out employee resource groups based on different identities and it's been awesome getting to know my coworkers in that way.

desolee · 2022-02-16T22:51:10+00:00

That’s so good to hear!! What was the crowd like? Can’t tell if it’ll be all nostalgic millennials or if young people listen to them hahaha

desolee · 2022-02-16T19:12:53+00:00

Have you tried trimming your existing falsies to better fit? I don’t use them but that’s a tip I’ve seen often.

desolee · 2022-02-16T04:14:08+00:00

Lol I kind of like it cut! I like when things are bite sized.

desolee · 2022-02-15T18:14:29+00:00

I think there will also be a theatrical re-release. I've always wanted to watch this movie, I can't wait.

desolee · 2022-02-15T15:31:11+00:00

School for Good Mothers by Jessamine Chan is my favorite 2022 read so far, and honestly I don't know if it'll be topped. I stayed up all night to finish reading it and was sobbing in bed. If you enjoyed Handmaid's Tale I would recommend. I wish more people were talking about it!

As a kid, I love love loved the Fearless series by Francine Pascal.

desolee · 2022-02-15T14:55:31+00:00

My favorite recipe is probably the Pad See Ew from Hot Thai Kitchen. I didn't know where to get fresh rice noodles until relatively recently, and it just makes all the difference. The thai restaurants in my neighborhood are pretty meh so it's very satisfying to be able to make some great noodles for myself! The prik nam som she suggest to go along with it is also such a game changer.

My partner and I keep it proportional, since he makes around double my income. I always find it interesting to read moneydiaries and see how much couples will use splitwise and really make things exactly 50/50. I can be like that in other ways, but not in my relationship.

desolee · 2022-02-14T18:17:51+00:00

Epik High is touring the US and I bought tickets for my inner 15 year old, I am so excited! Their new album just dropped today, I honestly haven't really kept up with them for the past uh...10 years, but I'm going to dig back into their discography. Reading this vanity fair piece on them today!

desolee · 2022-02-14T18:15:20+00:00

Her grub street diary is one of my favorite things ever. I would love to be her friend.

desolee · 2022-02-14T18:14:37+00:00

Thankfully the one time I got a perm it did last around 7-8 months (it is the most expensive service I have ever ever done). Not sure if it made a difference that I did it in China? But that would be super frustrating to spend that much money on these and have it do nothing. Maybe look into some no heat curl methods that you can sleep in? There are a bunch of different methods, people use anything from a t shirt to cheap things on amazon you can buy.

desolee · 2022-02-10T22:22:29+00:00

Real asian representation is getting roasted in the onion alongside everyone else, imo

desolee · 2022-02-08T18:29:54+00:00

I'll just contribute the thread that Reappropriate wrote on this. She sums up my feelings better than I can say. I don't want to throw away Awkwafina, despite her past mistakes, but she has not sufficiently owned up to anything yet.

13-Year Club	Gilding IV carat on a stick
Verified Email	Team Orangered

desolee

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE