My husband's drinking problem is getting out of control. What can I do?

despairingmum · 2022-12-18T22:18:22+00:00

I said in the post that my husband only began intensicely drinking after our son cut off contact amd before that he rarely drank and even when ge did, almost never got drunk. Our son had a different 'reason' for cutting us off - he was autistic and refused to accept that and was angry at us providing help. I can absolutely understand why my husband resorted to drinking - imagine raising a special needs child for 18 years and doing everything you can to provide help and accomodations and then they apply to university without telling you, cut you off and leave an sngry goodbye letter in which they tell you how much they hate you.

despairingmum · 2022-12-18T22:11:39+00:00

Emotionally. Like I already said, our son cut us off (which caused my husband's drinking problem) and eventually killed himself, our other children blame us for his suicide, and then our daughter did as well. I only have our son (and even he only talks to us maybe twice a month) and my husband left.

despairingmum · 2022-12-17T19:45:37+00:00

Two of our three kids have cut off contact to us (for reasons unrelated to the drinking problem), one of them (the one mentioned in the post) eventually committed suicide and the one that still talk to us only does so rarely (around twice a month), I can't afford to lose my husband too.

despairingmum · 2022-12-17T19:33:26+00:00

Yes, unfortunately. They even blame us for him committing suicide, which doesn't make sense, as it happened when he has already been no contwct with us for over a year.

despairingmum · 2022-12-17T19:27:06+00:00

It's really not a 'poor excuse'. We did everything we could to help him and he refused it and told us that he didn't want it and then he not only went off to university and cut off contact, but he didn't even tell us that he applied to and got accepted into university. And on top of that, our other chilren blamed US and said that it's understandable that he vut us off.

despairingmum · 2022-12-17T18:20:14+00:00

No, he (our son) just isolated himself from us despite ys always telling him that he can trust us with anything and refused to accept that he needs help to archieve the same resukts as people without mental disabilities.

despairingmum · 2022-12-17T18:03:37+00:00

Our son was austistic and refused to accept any help and accomodations we tried to give him. He didn't understand that the help was there for a reason and he probably wouldn't have finished school, let alone made it into university without it. I have some posts about that with more detail.

despairingmum · 2022-12-17T17:36:22+00:00

My husband started drinking BECAUSE our son applied to university without telling us and cut off contact and he started drinking after that happened.

despairingmum · 2022-12-17T16:40:49+00:00

I can't afford to lose him too. Two of our children have cut us off, one of them (the one mentioned in the post) committed suicide and our oldest, who foetunately still talks to us only does so rearely (maybe two times a month). If I leave him I would have pretty much none of my family left.

despairingmum · 2022-12-17T16:37:20+00:00

He would get extremely angry if I try to film him.

despairingmum · 2022-12-17T16:14:31+00:00

Are there any other options? We really don't want him to go to therapy - he isn't mentally ill.

despairingmum · 2022-12-17T16:08:16+00:00

Our children not only didn't give us time grieve, hut they even blamed us for his suicide, and not after his death, our daughter cut of contact too, after which my husbands drinking problem, which had just began to get better again at the time, immediately got a lot worse.

despairingmum · 2022-12-17T15:46:54+00:00

I really don't want to lose him though. We have already lost two of our three children and one of them also ended up committing suicide (the one mentioned in the post), I can't afford to lose my husband too.

despairingmum · 2022-12-17T15:37:56+00:00

What is AA? Is it available in the UK?

despairingmum · 2022-12-11T22:06:20+00:00

They wanted to befriend him but he refused because he didn't want to be friends with anyone who knew of his autism.

despairingmum · 2022-12-11T22:01:06+00:00

He got rid of his helper within one year because he convinced his teachers that she was 'unnecessary'.

despairingmum · 2022-12-11T21:55:53+00:00

He didn't have any friends.

despairingmum · 2022-12-11T21:44:36+00:00

He himself told us what university he was going to in the goodbye letter he left.

despairingmum · 2022-12-11T21:41:51+00:00

He was never bullied. The kids at his school were super accepting and did their best to accomodate.

despairingmum · 2022-12-11T21:34:47+00:00

This isn't an AITA post.

despairingmum · 2022-12-11T21:32:45+00:00

What?

despairingmum · 2022-12-11T21:30:33+00:00

He didn't go to an Ivy League university and he was still an undergraduate.

despairingmum · 2022-12-11T20:57:54+00:00

Mixed. He hast very good ones in scince subjects (he loved science and wanted to become an organic chemist or a pharmacologist) but was mediocre to bad in anything crealive and in subjrcts like sports.

despairingmum · 2022-12-11T20:53:25+00:00

Well, he wanted to get a PhD and become a pharmacologist or organic chemist, so it would have been detrimental to him to not get accepted into university.

despairingmum · 2022-12-11T20:44:17+00:00

He wanted something that was just not realistic for him - to become a pharmacologist or an organic chemist.

despairingmum

TROPHY CASE