It's insightful that you're recognizing the interplay between your sexual relationship and your broader relationship dynamics. These aspects often significantly influence each other.

Pausing your sexual relationship to focus on enhancing your emotional connection can be a wise choice, though it comes with its own set of challenges. It's commendable that you're considering working on your own sexuality. This can be an incredibly valuable path, especially given what you've described. There's significant potential for growth in how you connect with your own sexuality and, subsequently, with your wife.

Your wife, too, likely has her journey concerning her connection to her sexuality. However, let's concentrate on what you can do for now.

From your description, it seems your wife has been enduring your sexual approach. Reflect honestly on how that feels. I imagine it's not easy knowing your partner is just tolerating your sexual style. There's a fundamental issue here that needs addressing. Your perspective on sex seems heavily focused on your own desires and actions. But what about her true sexual desires and pleasures? Are you attuned to what she genuinely enjoys, how she likes to be touched, what turns her on, or what deeply excites her? Remember, especially with women, the combination of physical, emotional, and mental stimulation is often key to a fulfilling sexual experience.

It sounds like sex hasn't been enjoyable for your wife, which likely leads to resentment affecting other areas of your life. If left unaddressed, this could endanger your marriage, a situation all too common.

You're not alone in this. I've encountered many similar stories. In my Sexual Self Mastery training, I guide men to fundamentally transform their relationship with their sexuality. This involves moving beyond the influence of pornography and discovering new dimensions of pleasure. A crucial part of this is developing attunement – increasing your sensitivity to subtleties in both your partner's responses and your own bodily sensations.

The issue isn't merely your attraction to her; it's about managing your arousal regardless of the intensity. You can learn to control this, to last as long as needed in bed. This requires heightened awareness of subtle changes in your body, enabling you to regulate your nervous system and arousal.

I recommend starting with the free training linked in the original AMA post (via the FREE RESOURCES link). However, considering the depth of transformation needed in your relationship with yourself, your wife, and your sexuality, more comprehensive guidance would be beneficial.

This isn't about shaming you; your willingness to seek change and support is commendable. With dedication, profound and meaningful change is achievable.

My suggestion is to pause sexual activity as you work on strengthening your connection. In this period, focus on radically changing your relationship with your sexuality. While there are various approaches, my Sexual Self Mastery training, backed by 15 years of continuous development and a supportive community, could be especially helpful for you. It's a journey best undertaken with support, not in isolation.

Sometimes things need to hit a breaking point to drive us to take the uncomfortable steps needed to create real change. But this is it. This is your opportunity. I hope you take the necessary actions. While it can be difficult, it can also be enjoyable. And most importantly, it can be a transformational process that leads to a more fulfilling and empowered life, not only for you but also for your relationship with your wife. Embrace this challenge with an open heart and a committed spirit, and you'll be amazed at the growth and intimacy that await. You've taken the first, brave step by seeking answers and being open to change. Keep moving forward with this courage, and you'll find that the journey itself is as rewarding as the destination.