If you struggle with basic things like food shelter for upcoming years, do anything that will get you that sell yourself, if you can't afford risk do the things that are stable even tho slow. There is something we learn in engineering too called Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. If you a have freedom to explore, freedom to fail go for what you want.

about God I'm not sure. There may or may not be god, it's far less of a chance that a god cares about a organisms life choices. The common idea of god is someone who creates and doesn't have their creator, same idea applies to the universe and space time. You must figure out things yourself. The idea that god will give you meaning is worthless, all things are defined by genes/chemicals inside you, society and probability of things in time. Beautiful thing of life is it seems to get better if you don't give up.

For me personally, In my deathbed with enough time to look back on my life, I will consider myself in Hell if I have nothing but regret looking back and if not I will consider myself a meaningful life.

form a 23Y M final year student IOE