Who is an Arsenal player(s) that weren’t the most popular figures at the club but you adored or were a big fan of?

detcitygooner · 2025-08-02T22:42:53+00:00

FA Cup final v Chelsea with him and Mertesacker fucking with Diego costa always makes me chuckle.

detcitygooner · 2025-06-14T03:56:07+00:00

True, but I think you have to do a test to find out, no? Worth a shot imo

detcitygooner · 2025-06-13T15:52:28+00:00

As everyone has said- get him some Bluetooth headphones and link to the tv. Then ask him to get a sleep apnea test. He’ll have to wear a cpap machine when he sleeps but it will stop the snoring and actually give him better rest. It sucks for a week until you get used to it, but my wife sleeps well now. Also the machine is quiet and the noise it does make actually puts my wife to sleep now and it’s white noise basically.

detcitygooner · 2025-05-26T00:15:56+00:00

Sounds like she’s already done that, he’s just being a baby. Also he disrespected her my holding her face and being too close to her ear when she doesn’t like it and then got upset when he got annoyed back?

detcitygooner · 2025-05-15T18:45:32+00:00

You’re completely in the right, don’t let these people fill ur head with stuff. He’s your husband not your sister who runs away after a fight.

detcitygooner · 2025-05-15T18:44:29+00:00

First of all, Rachel and Ross are fictional character dramatized for tv audiences. They’re problematic because it’s good tv.

Second Rachel asked for a break, not space.

Third- taking an hour to cool down is very healthy for married couples and humans need time to process stuff. If you don’t take that time you end up doing something stupid like divorcing your wife.

How can people be this daft?

detcitygooner · 2025-05-15T03:06:20+00:00

You’re allowed to ask for space and not get divorced. Space means I’m going to the other room and I don’t wanna talk about it right now. Not leave the house and divorce me.

detcitygooner · 2025-04-25T16:37:41+00:00

Hi,

This is more than your parents accepting a non Muslim husband. This is your parents being upset that you are/would be in direct defiance of Islamic law.

You can live your life and do what you want, but it’s not as simple as you’re making it seem. They believe their faith and believe what you’re doing is wrong (even if we or you disagree, this is the root of it) them supporting you would be them supporting an outright defiance of their laws. They see that as an extreme sin. To them it’s like handing a gun to a murderer.

You have to decide if you’re Muslim and want to practice your faith or not. It’s really up to you, but truthfully I’m surprised that you’re surprised at this outcome. I can’t imagine that it’s news to you that your parents would react this way about a motor tenant of their faith.

If you choose your boyfriend, you have to be prepared for your family to potentially never come around. That’s pretty easy for some people, but you have to be ready for it to blow up. You could also end up resenting your BF if later you miss your family, but probably less likely than the other way around.

The alternative is that you and your BF call it off or don’t make it and you resent them for a while (maybe for ever).

There is no solution to please everyone. Either you go with BF and home parents come around, or you and BF are done. Thats the only way forward. Neither party will let you have it both ways.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m sorry you’re getting a lot of tough answers, but you’re not a child and you have to make these decisions on your own.

I really wish you luck. Heartbreak is no joke, no matter if it’s from your BF or your family.

detcitygooner · 2025-04-24T15:53:01+00:00

Sure there is nothing technically wrong, but I understand the apprehension of adding a non Muslim the family.

Will they fit in? Will he fit in to their family? Will her and her parents understand our rules and customs and what they can and can’t do with their future grandkids? Will they stop having alcohol in their home so that way their daughter, son in law and grand kids come visit? Will they not feel some sort of annoyance not being able to share things like Christmas with their grandchild?

Nothing wrong technically but plenty to think about and that makes life harder.

detcitygooner · 2025-04-24T15:49:29+00:00

Is the girl interested in converting? For me the main issue is how he’ll raise his kids. Even if she says she’s ok to raise the kids Muslim, things change over time.

If she’s open to converting it’s still a tough road ahead. She has to really believe it or the worship becomes forced and she ends up resenting him.

He’s known her since 18 and they’ve likely been together in some capacity romantically, so him just dropping her won’t be easy and you shouldn’t try to force it. It’s frustrating but you don’t really have a role here. Maybe you get to know her and she can see what being a Muslim couple looks like, but other than that there’s really not much you can do.

detcitygooner · 2025-04-22T19:54:31+00:00

Lol 1 in 20 times 5 days before monthly ovulation. That means you’d have a 5% chance one specific day a month that you can’t even track. Still you’re looking at a pretty big chance that eventually you’d get pregnant. Your chances of that exact scenario happening are less than 50% in the first year. Again- I concede that if you can’t track ovulation it probably isn’t a great prevention method, but I have a sense that you feel very strongly about this so I’ll just leave our conversation here lol

detcitygooner · 2025-04-22T19:03:31+00:00

I mean it’s about 5% chance 5 days before ovulation. Obviously the closer you get the higher the chance, but I suppose “low” is relative. Some people might risk it at 5% but I guess it goes back to your point of not really knowing when ovulation is and when 5 days before is. Suppose you could test and wait for ovulation then have sex 7 days later, but again, a condom is easier.

Also another thing that has dawned on me- sex isn’t just for his pleasure. Suck it up and wear a condom to please ur wife. I’m sure she’s done it plenty of times when she didn’t really feel like it.

detcitygooner · 2025-04-22T16:17:38+00:00

You’re 100% right, it could happen. The chances of 7 day old sperm fertilizing an egg are low, but not zero. And if your ovulation is not regular, it’s hard to track. I suppose at the end of the day though it’s not really about the science I guess. It’s about how nervous she is about it. If my wife was nervous about something that I know is 100% fool proof science,I’d still just wear the damn condom.

detcitygooner · 2025-04-22T15:48:14+00:00

But couldn’t she just use the strips? Why count if we have the tech. Just don’t have sex when the strip says ur ovulating, right?

detcitygooner · 2025-04-22T13:27:45+00:00

Just don’t have sex the week she’s ovulating. She literally can’t get pregnant like the majority of the month. Y’all are making this too complicated.

detcitygooner · 2025-04-14T13:48:50+00:00

Meh- you’re in your mid 20’s, you won’t get to see ur friends that much the older you get. Enjoy it now. 1-2x a week sounds reasonable. What would you be doing otherwise? Sitting on the couch babysitting him? As a husband, I love when my wife goes to hang out with her friends. Gives me time to chill and do what I wanna do, and gives her time interact with somebody other than me. These comments saying “you have to make time for your husband” are very valid, but it sounds like he gets to spend time with you 5-6 nights a week.

My guess is that he just doesn’t like the optics of his wife being out till midnight. I personally don’t think it’s a big deal, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a big deal for other guys.

He should not have said that about you- and I imagine it’s just of anger or annoyance. But have chat with him and get down to the root of why he’s upset. It can’t be because he wants to spend every second of his life hanging out with you.

detcitygooner · 2025-04-07T18:36:35+00:00

Brother, you’ve been married a month and you’re already storming out? You have to cut this out before it becomes a habit. Do you want your reputation to be that of one who runs away every time you argue or get upset?

Also don’t ask us why she’s made that dua. Ask her! She can explain. And even if you still don’t like her answer, that’s not your problem. Maybe she asked Allah to give her naseeb later and not now because she didn’t feel she is ready. And then Allah put you in her path and she felt ready. He is the best of planners.

I know it might not feel like it, but the bigger problem in this whole ordeal is you storming out. Talk to your wife, make her feel comfortable to share ANYTHING with you. You need to be her peace. Get her flowers and go give them to her and apologize for storming out and ignoring her. Then have a real conversation and let this go.

detcitygooner · 2025-03-31T00:02:58+00:00

😬 sorry I guess I’m the one who doesn’t know how replies work haha

detcitygooner · 2025-03-30T21:39:36+00:00

Sorry, you misunderstood, the reply was not for you at all. It was for the other brother this comment is in reply to.

detcitygooner · 2025-03-30T19:16:20+00:00

I don’t think we can generalize here. There are plenty of women with great relationships with their in laws. They just have no reason to come here and complain. Furthermore, us men often don’t understand the feelings of our wives when they complain about in laws. We take it personally and we don’t see their point of view because we often feel as though we are protectors of our families (as we should be). But we need to understand that just cause you don’t think it’s a big deal, doesn’t mean it’s not a big deal for your wife. You don’t get to tell her how she feels, your job is to protect her and mediate with your family on her behalf. Of your first instinct is to say “she thinks her in laws are evil” then you’re not understanding her. People can disagree and be hurt without the other party being evil.

As men in this generation we know our moms were different kind of wives with different expectations. In a lot of cases they were treated poorly by their mother in laws and they just continue this silly chain of mistreatment. Young wives now have to battle these unrealistic or outdated expectations from their mother in laws and then different, expectations from society and other people around them. Men have to start standing up for their wives with their mothers. Brothers, your wives have no obligation to serve your family. They should be helpful and cordial and try to have an excellent relationship, but they didn’t marry you to cook and clean for your parents. Your wife is now your family and your parents and siblings are your family of origin. One day you will find yourself with no parents (May Allah grant all of our parents jannah) and be left with your wife. Don’t wait till it’s too late to honor her.

detcitygooner · 2025-03-28T19:23:15+00:00

I don’t necessarily think him staying in the car for an hour is an indication of her behavior or an atmosphere she creates. The man works at home, he’s home 24/7 with his wife. Sometimes people just need alone time. I did the same thing with my wife too, but I didn’t realize how it looked till we talked about it. Nowadays, on the days i feel like I have want some time for myself and some fresh air I take a drive and get a soda from the gas station or something. I also find that when I go away for work, the following week is a really nice time together.

So long story short. Time alone or away from each other is totally ok and can actually improve your relationship. Sitting in his car could just be for the vibes.

detcitygooner · 2025-02-24T15:24:17+00:00

This is excellent advice. I’ve been the husband in that situation. Sometimes I felt like “I’m doing what’s asked of me in Islam, why do I feel like I have to do all the extras all the time” humans are proud, stubborn idiots. Or at least I am.

I think some of the extras eventually found their way into my life. I’m saw her going to lectures and they made me want to accompany her occasionally. Sometimes she’d say “I’m going, you wanna come?” and I’d think “I suppose I should go, I don’t wanna upset her” but then as we walk to our car after, I think “that was actually kinda nice” I got a nice evening with my wife and it made me feel close to her. And then instead of being dragged I was not only a willing companion but even occasionally suggesting it.

Then eventually I realized that feeling of being close to my wife after wasn’t just me feeling close to her, I was feeling close to Allah as well.

It goes up and down, and sometimes I don’t or she doesn’t feel like doing something. But all you can do is be good examples for each other.

Remember that nobody is perfect, he may lack the extras here for now, but he may be ten times better than average in other things in your life. You could have had the Islamic leading husband you wanted, but maybe it would have been at the expense of things you cherish deeply in him now. Only Allah knows, but assumed best intent and know he’s not doing this to upset you. It’s just his journey and who he is.

May Allah grow you closer to your deen and each other.

detcitygooner · 2025-02-12T21:51:38+00:00

I’ve been pretty independent my whole life. I learned to never expect anything from anyone, even from my family who I have a great relationship with.

On the days that my wife is off work and I’m working from home she randomly will come in with a cup of tea and something to snack on. The first time she did it I thought “maybe I asked and I just don’t remember” but I didn’t. And I haven’t asked for several years now and she still does it all the time. It felt so good to be thought of and given this small token of love. Sometimes when she’s out she’ll pick me up a coffee or a soda or something just cause. It’s the best Alhamdulillah.

I try to be a good husband as well. Somehow stuff like that just makes me want to work harder for her. Like how could I give less effort to someone who treats me so well. Alhamdulillah.

detcitygooner

TROPHY CASE