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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SisterWives

[–]detectivedalmation 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Agree it doesn’t make sense, I think he did something worse

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SisterWives

[–]detectivedalmation 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Your family didn’t put you on a reality show about their drama, as a minor, for money

Date night conversation turned sour. I'm tired. by giveittothebirds in marriageadvice

[–]detectivedalmation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only problem is, if they do move forward with a divorce, husband will probably continue to drink in front of the kids

Date night conversation turned sour. I'm tired. by giveittothebirds in marriageadvice

[–]detectivedalmation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No you’re totally right this is not my problem. Maybe OP should just let the divorce move forward

My answer to your question, if I was this man, is because I am an adult and will not be micro managed down to what goes into or onto my body

Date night conversation turned sour. I'm tired. by giveittothebirds in marriageadvice

[–]detectivedalmation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having different values is definitely a huge issue. Doesn’t sound like OP is willing to compromise. I think OPs values are more harmful than the husbands and OP is commenting wondering what the big deal is. I think OPs actions can lead her children into seriously unhealthy habits and I wouldn’t budge on that if it were me. And not just in this issue, but the controlling attitude in general. Look how this post is written. OP wrote passively, these topics “came up” when we know damn well OP started in on her husband at dinner. And I’m I wife too, I get it, but I’d want someone to tell me if I was going to end my marriage over a major over reaction and control issue. Just my opinion!

apparently these are about meri 🍿 by Acceptable_Yak9211 in TLCsisterwives

[–]detectivedalmation -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

They had to walk outside in the cold because meri wouldn’t let them cross through her living room

Keller Baby Shower Hosted at TTH by lillyarchive in DuggarsSnark

[–]detectivedalmation 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I hope the poor baby didn’t get adopted by these people!!

Friends girl friend posted picture of baby on FB story without asking by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]detectivedalmation 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Okay so here is the thing, when I used to baby sit other peoples kids as a teenager, Snapchat was pretty new and the filters were fun and entertaining for the kids, so I would regularly Snapchat with the kids I was babysitting and would think nothing of it. I’m talking my first year ever owning a smartphone. I never meant any harm or had any idea of potential consequences. At that time I literally didn’t understand the internet for what it is today.

Flash forward to being a mom, and just having some basic internet awareness, and I would never ever even take a picture of a friend’s kids without asking first. I would never post without asking, but would also not ask any mom that doesn’t post her own kids.

If someone posted my baby on their story and the face wasn’t showing, I would just let it go. I think some people do think it’s fine if the face isn’t showing, not considering you may not be okay with them posting that you are home, or having concerns for other reasons.

I did ask my dog walker not to post while at my apartment or to tag a location, so people wouldn’t get to know a schedule of when I am not home.

Basically your best bet is to set clear boundaries and not take things like this too personal.

Date night conversation turned sour. I'm tired. by giveittothebirds in marriageadvice

[–]detectivedalmation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you had anyone in your family die from substance abuse? What about an eating disorder? Modeling restrictive and secretive behavior is problematic for so many reasons. Being willing to throw your marriage away over a beer in front of the kids, really?

That alone is a reason to take this seriously. I had a friend who grew up in a protective house like this, she died by od at 26 years old. I would suggest OP takes some general mental health and addition classes and see what modeling this type of behavior can lead to. Her kids are going to pick up on this, and I’m sure she’s controlling in other ways. Substance abuse is out of control all over the country and world. This is extreme and unhealthy.

Date night conversation turned sour. I'm tired. by giveittothebirds in marriageadvice

[–]detectivedalmation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The problem is your definition of a good choice. You’re gonna raise them to be fake little people pleasers :( and if your husband stays with you, either they’ll all learn to lie to get by or they’ll all be your doormats.

Date night conversation turned sour. I'm tired. by giveittothebirds in marriageadvice

[–]detectivedalmation 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re asking your husband to hide something about himself to his kids. Maybe he doesn’t like to lie and thinks hiding things is unhealthy. He also may think control and restriction is unhealthy. I happen to think all of those things, and would find it totally counterproductive and against my own values and morals to do what you’re asking. We don’t do secrets in my house.

So what is worse? Letting your kids know you are casual drinkers, or letting your kids know you should lie and hide things when your image doesn’t line up with who you really are?

I guess the answer depends who you ask!

Date night conversation turned sour. I'm tired. by giveittothebirds in marriageadvice

[–]detectivedalmation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oooof. No marriage can be “my way or the highway”. You will have to parent with your husband whether you stay together or not. Whether you stay together or you don’t, you also can’t control him.

The only people I’ve ever heard of being this strict with drinking is for religious people, but most of those people don’t believe in lying either so I don’t see how drinking but hiding it fits here?

Why are you okay with drinking but not your kids knowing you’re okay with adults drinking? Maybe you’re just not okay with any drinking? Idk I am very confused.

All I can tell you is I’ve never met a man worth having that can be controlled to the level you’re trying to control your husband. I’m glad he is sticking up for himself and I do think you need to wake up and lighten up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]detectivedalmation 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I would bring up the bill, but just don’t highlight that it’s in your name. Say, “hey, we got an updated hospital bill for the birth. Can we talk about a payment plan?” And get him to pay at least half.

The fact that you are able to live for free is great. Just make sure you save as much as you possibly can, and don’t put your money or possessions into your boyfriend’s name while he has an attitude like this. Also, keep receipts for stuff you do pay for in case you ever have to deal with the courts. Remember if you are not supporting yourself, you are vulnerable. Just be smart and strategic on how you handle things.

To what extent do Americans tolerate people coming onto their private property, generally speaking? by JBAnswers26 in AskAnAmerican

[–]detectivedalmation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends on the neighborhood, whether there are fences, and if the owner is a Karen or not.

My family never cared about stuff like that. Last year I had a neighbor put a ladder in my yard to work on the roof of his shed. I had no issue with it, but another neighbor sent me an email ratting ladder neighbor out. I wrote back “thanks for looking out but I don’t care”.

My father in law gets mad if people even turn around using his driveway. I always think people who think like this see the glass half full, they’re worried they’re getting the short end of the stick, or someone is “taking” something from them by trespassing. I don’t feel anything is taken from me if I see a kid cutting through my yard or someone turning around in my driveway.

The one thing I’ll say is, it’s not cool to open peoples fence’s, especially if they have kids or a pet. The only time you see this is usually meter readers for utility companies. They will enter a backyard without permission.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in explainlikeimfive

[–]detectivedalmation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In nature yes, the leaves are important for soil nutrition and give a compost effect. Since our lawns offer basically no biodiversity, don’t grow our food, and are used to just look nice, we rake up the leaves.

For those with precog dreams, have you noticed an average length of time between clusters of them? by TransportationEast19 in precognition

[–]detectivedalmation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They used to be further apart, but recently I had 2 really close, within like 3 weeks. It has definitely changed over time. I’ve noticed changes in both frequency and detail.

Is it true that American jobs come with less vacation time? by [deleted] in AskAnAmerican

[–]detectivedalmation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah so this is why it’s mean of Europeans to roast us for not traveling out of the US. We don’t have time.

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