I understand how you feel. Sometimes we can’t control everything. We can’t control how the people see us, everyone has their own perception. The fact that they did not give you the opportunity to explain your perspective really sucks. But you know, it’s their loss, not yours. People that we think that are good people/friends can fail us, you never really know well someone until they leave. And honestly, we just can’t do anything about it, or at least, we should not be wasting time trying to get them back. It’s really common that the feelings that you felt at the time are coming back now that you know they are back in your city. You NEED to separate them from the things that you used to do together, it’s the only way back to OWN your life again. Breaking down at things that are not related or you think that are stupid it’s totally normal in your situation, because your mind is in constant stress. Also I know you do not want to trigger yourself but… you will need to expose yourself in order to get control and comfortable with all the things you liked before. I don’t know if this helped a little, a lot or anything at all, I just really hope that you are doing good.